Hi Everyone,
I will start from the beginning. Yesterday, while I was in the shower, I was running the shower water over my vagina. I always open it up and let the water run in. This time, I felt something weird on my clit so I showered, got out and grabbed the mirror. I look down and its a flesh colored sore so I'm thinking okay, maybe I cut myself but when I proceeded to check, I saw two other sores of the same kind hidden to the side of it. So I panicked and hit search on the internet, it said things like herpes, fordyce spots and some other conditions so I just went to urgent care to get a doctors opinion because I am disturbed at this point. I go, wait forever and finally get seen by a male doctor. He takes one look and says that's herpes and proceeded to swab it and tell me to go get my blood work done and pick up a prescription. It wasn't until I started crying that he explained some of what Herpes was and that it's common and I could have gotten it from anyone.
Im not a hypochondriac or anything but I always get std checks and my vagina checked often because I have frequent yeast infections and was diagnosed with HPV early last year so I always go at the first sign of trouble. But with this, there is no burning, its not hurting when I pee, doesn't hurt when I squeeze it or anything like that, so I'm confused about what to do. I asked for a full std screening and HIV test even though I got tested in Sept of 2017 and everything was negative, I'm still worried because of the HPV and the new Herpes so I just want to be sure. I got the medicine and the bloodwork done so now I'm waiting for definite results but I have been reading so much online that I am scared.
I recently got into a new relationship in May of 2017 with this great guy and I was scared to tell him because I thought that he was going to blast me on social media and leave me but when I told him, he said that it's common and he's being really supportive. He says that he's not leaving me and has an appointment on Wednesday to get checked. I am scared that he is going to leave. But also wondering if he gave it to me? He says if he has it then I gave it to him. IDK, because wouldn't it have showed up last year since we have been having sex since then? How would I be able to determine if I gave it to him or vice versa? What will the test tell me? I have so many questions but no one to ask. I am scared to tell anyone else because I don't want people to treat me differently. I'm scared that I have HIV based on what I read online but I know I'm being paranoid because I was tested last year in Sept. I don't know how to treat it, what to recognize for a outbreak because I have no symptoms, does it spread if I wipe down with tissue, what happens to my sex life, will this affect my job, do I have HIV now, and a million of other questions. I don't even know how I got it or when I got it. I been crying off and on since last night. I feel so alone, scared, and ashamed. I'm 31. How do I explain this? How do I better inform myself, my children and my boyfriend or whomever I date. I just need a hug and a friend right now. I feel better being able to share this.
Thanks