bkgirl401

I was only diagnosed 3 months ago and I am new to this forum. I haven't been in a situation (until now) where I needed to disclose this information. However I recently started dating someone who I like very much. We went out on a date two night ago where we had several drinks. We didn't have sex, but he was touching me, and possibly himself after (this feels weird to talk about). I was very clear about not being ready to have sex, and hands were the only body parts to make contact. I really felt like I was being safe at the time, but now looking back I regret having done this before telling him that I have this virus. I just didn't have the hindsight to know what is normal or safe for me now. Afterwards I did research online about the possibility of passing this via touch. I have never had an external outbreak (internal I don't know), but I was reading about how viral shedding can cause transmission through touch. I'm really nervous that maybe I gave it to him, and I don't know what to do. I haven't gotten in touch with him since yesterday morning because I know that if I do and we end up hanging out I will have to tell him. I don't want to push him away because I'm afraid, but I don't want him to think I was just being careless. I truly didn't know what to do. Avoidance seems like the easiest option, but I also know that it's not going to help me to move forward in my life. Uggg.