Please help me understand

[Roxie]

I was just diagnosed with HSV-1 genital.  I have been with my boyfriend for many years and we have had (plenty) of unprotected sex.  Recently he went down on me, and a few days later I got the outbreak.  He has never presented with a cold sore or any symptoms in all of these years.  He was just blood tested b/c I had the outbreak and he was positive for HSV-1.  So does that mean he has had this all along-- and if so why would I just get an outbreak now after all of these years of being with him?  In other words why now?  Does this mean he cheated on me recently, or could this have just been living in him this entire time?

Of course he feels guilty but he never knew he had it.  I just feel mad but I can't blame him right?  So confused with these feelings right now.

[AlliKat12]

Hello,

It is possible that he could of had this for awhile and has never had an outbreak or any symptoms.  Herpes can lay dormant in the nerves and can come out when your immune system is struggling.  He could have been asymptomatically shedding the virus and it could have entered your body through a small cut or a microcut after shaving.   I wouldn't be too hard on him if he didn't know that he was positive.  This doesn't necessarily mean anyone cheated either.  

Just have an open conversation about what the possibilities are and figure out a way to move on together.