Lost and Alone

[TNJ]

I was diagnosed in July, and my world hasn't been the same since. I feel so ashamed that I haven't been able to tell anyone, but my ex who I contracted it from, and I feel like I'm living a lie. I'm 26 and I feel like this could possible have me alone forever. After being in a relationship for 2 years, I'm back single again and literally afraid of ever having to disclose my status to anyone. I know I have so much to offer and I am a great person, but I can't realistically see a man accepting my status and wanting to build a life with me.

[Sparklepony]

You and I are around the same age. I found out on Monday and am feeling the same way you are. It's hard to think that you'll be just like those people who have continued on living. We will though, even if we can't process the idea of it now. There needs to be a process of grief because to some extent we are losing a part of our "old life". No more careless sex (which oddly seems like such a privilege now). Anytime that happens we will grieve. Having kids, getting married, getting divorced, losing a job. It's all a life adjustment. Unfortunately, herpes is one that has a stigma attached. You will find someone. It might not be the first guy you date after this, but it's that way after a divorce as well. Dating is hard period.

 

It sounds to me like you're taking it extremely hard, a lot of that might be that you lost a relationship around the same time so it's just a combination of the two. Maybe seeing a counselor might help you. I've decided to because I know how much it's helped me in the past. Regardless of what is your way of getting back on track after this not so nice set-back, you need to find it and do it. You can't let this define you.