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Exposure Concern

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Hello I am a female living with HSV for 10 years. Due to diagnosis and to avoid disclosure I do not have vaginal penis sex or receive oral sex. I do make out and perform oral sex as i do not not have Hsv1.

Last night  my partner decided to go further and penetrated me three times using a condom. No one previously has done this.  I was not prepared.The third time the condom slipped off. I am worried I will disclose even though I am embarrased.  I am on suppressive therapy of valacyclovir 500mg. What is the risk of him acquring HSV2 from this encounter.

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I am sorry you are in this situation. 

You say in your post, "my partner decided to go further and penetrated me three times"

Your language worries me. Did he have your consent to do this? I think that disclosure is important, especially to share the potential risks of transmission and also to have complete transparency (and so that sex can be reciprocal and mutually enjoyable). 

However, you are entitled to do what you feel is best for yourself, and I really hope that your partner did not force you into a situation against your will. If you got caught up in the heat of the moment that is one thing, but I hope he did not push you into this or penetrate you without your consent.

I think that the risk of transmitting from this one exposure is quite low, especially if you did not have symptoms and you are on suppressive therapy. However, as you know, there is always a risk of transmission. 

Can I ask why you won't disclose? Does your partner find it odd that you won't have sexual intercourse or receive oral sex? If you read other threads on this forum, you will see that many people have lots of success being accepted after disclosing, and there is a lot of support here to help you get to a point where you feel okay about having this type of discussion. I really hope you will consider it. 




My username is "tiredandlonely" because I joined back when I was first diagnosed and I don't know how to change it now. I'm not tired and lonely anymore. Still tired sometimes though 🙂

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