Taramore

I want a man like that!

I got it when I married my second husband in 1996 - he didn't bother to tell me he had it, and although we had been intimate before we married, I didn't get any symptoms until a month after the wedding. When I asked him why he didn't tell me, he said that he hadn't been bothered by it for years, and that I couldn't get it anyway if we weren't having sex during an outbreak. He was a medical man, so I was horrified at his ignorance. He divorced me three years ago (he was abusive and was one of those people who are wonderful to everyone else but complete monsters at home - he was also messing about with my "best friend"). I stayed with him longer than I should have, partly because I suffered horribly for years with extraordinary symptoms and thought I would never shake off the depression and the pain (physical and mental). Now I am ready to begin to trust again, and am faced with the prospect of disclosure. I have been trying online dating, have disclosed early on and have either not heard back, have been insulted, or have had a polite no-thank-you. A couple of men said that they had it too, but never disclosed, and that disappointed me, as you can imagine! Neither turned out to be compatible anyway. I have now met someone online who is so very appealing to me. He lives at quite a distance, so meeting him won't happen for a while - we write lots back and forth, he comes from the same country as me so we have a lot in common, understand each other's sense of humour, and want the same things. I am dreading telling him, and feel that I should get it over with, but a friend I confided in said I should wait until we actually meet. Waiting that long seems to me to be equal to stringing him along. Anyone have any thoughts? By the way, I am 59 so do feel that time is rushing by, even if I don't feel or look anywhere near that. Thanks!