TryingToBeHappy15

Any change regarding your health will be an adjustment regardless of how serious the condition is. In this case, herpes really isn't a big deal if you can come to terms with it mentally. That's the toughest part and it all depends on the person. Well to your questions... Your feelings are normal, but it doesn't mean you are gross or disgusting. You're not stupid nor should you feel guilty for wanting to have sex. It seems like the more pressing issue is that your bf wasn't supportive when you needed him to be, but that's more of a relationship thing opposed to an hsv issue. The good news is it's not going to make the issue any worse if you choose to be intimate with him. With anything, the longer you have something or the more often you do something the more normal it becomes. So yes, life does get better and the quicker you deal with things mentally the quicker you'll be "normal again". As far as taking a pill daily, many people feel the same way you do. Typically, taking a pill daily is only if you're trying to decrease the frequency and severity of future symptoms. If they are generally mild it may not be necessary. The other reason is if you want to take extra precaution in protecting a partner (if your BF has it, this is moot). While there are no guarantees, studies regarding HSV are being conducted for better treatments. Specifically there is one ending a phase 2 clinical trial in July that is targeting to produce a herpes vaccine (to eliminate the need to take a daily pill). Vical is the company. Thanks so much for your reassurance. It’s so difficult but I’m in a good place at the moment just hope it lasts.

I just had my second outbreak or what felt like it two weeks ago, I’m on suppressive medication and taking it twice a day helped a lot I was just feeling the nerve pain and nothing else. Thank God. I’m so much happier than I was last month. But last week was the first time I decided to wax since I got diagnosed. Too petrified to shave. TMI I’m sorry. But last night I noticed something, two somethings actually. I’ve had no other signs or symptoms I take my medication daily. I noticed on the outside, more towards the bikini area that there was a painful bump, I can’t see a shadow for it to be a ingrown, but it has a white head, it looks like a zit you’d get on your face, I would rather die than to try to pop it because last time that’s how I spread my first OB thinking it was an ingrown. It does not look the same at the one I had before at the beginning. And there’s also another one like.... Hard to explain.... like much lower on my butt cheek but where it meets my thigh? I know how stupid I sound. I never had outbreaks there not even the first time they was mostly “inside” not in the bikini area. I’m just so scared it might be a outbreak and they are going to break and spread and be there every time I get a OB

I officially got diagnosed around March 24th. I got my first outbreak a few days before leaving for a trip for my birthday. I was told it was an ingrown hair by a Dr and went along on my trip. A day before my birthday I went out and decided to shave down there which was the biggest mistake ever because that ingrown was not an ingrown and on my birthday day it kicked in what I’ve been freaking for a week and broke down crying. I felt dirty. Disgusted. Stupid. Shameful. Gross. I hated myself. I hated my bf for not knowing a cold sore is Herpes and is w what causes Herpes type 2. I was also suffering thinking I had a cold. Nope. The burn I thought I had on my tongue and gun was a OB. My swollen tonsils and the stinging when I ate or drank something wasn’t my tonsillitis. It was a OB. I felt so so so so disgusting. Just so ugly and bad I was such a bad person. I felt suicidal. I felt I should hide from other people. I felt I should’ve not touched my child or be around my family. I washed my hands so many times they was red and constantly dry. My bf also broke up with me. For other reasons. So he says. And I also had slight hope when they told me it’s type 1 and it could’ve been trush? Or a type of yeast infection. But then after 4 days of thanking God and feeling just.... clean. I got told the tests all came back positive and I had both type 1 and type 2. It took me some time to be ok. Well not ok but better. Every itch, pain, anything, I got so scared. Well now I’m experiencing my second OB. I knew something was off last week but my dr refused to check for anything and just told me to come back in a week. I started taking the daily medication to prevent it because I tried taking it and figured if I didn’t maybe it wouldn’t be real? Stupid I know. So I finally went to my ongyn when I felt a bump and she told me it’s a OB. I actually felt good about it tho. Because I thought I was having a UTI or something. And for you who know how bad the first OB can be that’s amazing news actually. I had no clusters. No sores. No painful insane itching. No flu symptoms. No aches. Just a dull dull sensation there and what felt alike a uti when I peed. So I was so happy. Bc if this is what a OB is like and I can stop it in its tracks, than omg this is perfect!!! So I was excited. Not excited to have it but excited that something good for a change. But few days later and it’s now I feel like crap. I hate taking pills everyday. I hate being stressed if I miss one. I hate having to hide it and it’s makes it harder as well to take the pills. My bf and I are working on things he’s supportive and doesn’t care about it, that’s not his issue but none the less he left me alone while going through something and those issues keep coming back to me and I feel gross and disgusted and just a bad person again. Idk what it is but is it normal? Is any of this normal? Am I being a drama queen? Am I being stupid? I know yous are gonna say it gets better but does it really? I have so many questions. I feel guilty and stupid for wanting to have sex. Bc I shouldn’t. He gave it to me. Not purposely but still. He left me alone. I shouldn’t. I have this ugly disease I shouldn’t. I’m dirty. I shouldn’t. Like I shouldn’t. But that’s a normal thing to wanna do so I guess I wanna be normal again? Am I wrong? I just wanna hide and cry and not be around anyone. I’ve avoided my daughter bc I’m scared bc I feel dirty. I just need to talk about it.