[Herpes in the Black Community]

On 1/22/2020 at 10:18 AM, futdj19 said:

THIS IS ME 100%!!
i’m not sure if you’re still on this form since it was posted over a year ago, but if you are… Has your dating situation gotten any better?

Hi futdj19! I wish I could say that my dating situation has improved greatly but it hasn't.  I've gone out on dates. Dated a couple of people for 2-3 months but when it started to get serious I cut it off.  Just could not bring myself to disclose.  Haven't dated much over the last few months. I know I'm still not at a place where I'm confident to disclose.

[Black Woman Group Chat]

@Scoobilu If you come across one or have any ideas on how to start one, I'd love to join.

[Where do you guys live?]

Hi, @TaintedLove!  I'm based in Orlando.  I've recently reached out to a local H support/social group in my area in the hopes of meeting people. There is a local group on Meetup and they also have a secret Facebook group.  Have you looked into similar options?  Also, maybe reach out to Planned Parenthood or other STI testing centers to see if they know if any support groups. I completely understand your need to discuss your status with someone who actually knows what you're talking about first hand. I've reached my limit with trying to deal with this on my own.  I really do hope you find local connections, but if you ever want to chat I'd be happy to, sis.

[H Buddies, unite!]

Female (37 years old) looking to make male and/or female friends in the Orlando area. Interested in receiving and giving support. 

[Herpes in the Black Community]

@Sunny720 thank you for starting this thread. I was diagnosed with HSV2 in Dec. 2017. I thought dating as a black woman before my diagnosis was difficult enough; now I feel like it's almost impossible. Can't bring myself to respond to men showing an interest because I know that I will have to disclose. In addition to fearing their reactions, I worry that they will gossip about my status to others. I can't deal with the judgment that comes along with being open about my status.

I read an article published in 2010 that said according to the CDC, 50% of black women have herpes. 50%. That number sounds ridiculous, but men don't seem go to the doctor as frequently as women and this is especially true for black men. I think a history of racial bias in the medical community, apathy, mens' tendency to go to the doctor only when something is obviously wrong, and financial barriers to healthcare are big factors. That coupled with the fact that we are the demographic that is least likely to date outside our race means we are catching hell because of it. I do not believe that black women and men are any more promiscuous than any other group. We just tend to have the worst health outcomes and the problem is compounded when you are in an insular community.