crookshankshey

Thank you! How long have you been together? Any advice to prevent transmission other than Valtrex

I’ve been dating/talking to a guy for the last 7/8 months. We have had protected sex using condoms and I’m on daily Valtrex. (I have hsv2 and have had for 11 years. No outbreaks while using medication). I disclosed at the beginning and he had no issues about it. He brought up not using condoms and I told him the risk goes up from 1 to 2% annually, but it’s still a risk. Now he says he doesn’t want to use condoms. I feel kind of conflicted. I hate condoms and would love to have sex without them, but I feel bad. Should I be okay with it because I’ve mentioned the risk multiple times and provided other information?

Your post broke my heart. That’s how I felt when I was first diagnosed though I was married. Now years later, I found myself single with this dirty secret I was deathly ashamed of. But guess what? The first guy I hooked up with totally cool with it. Like no pause. Had sex right after I told him and we are still hooking up four months later and he doesn’t want to use protection anymore (I’m the deciding factor, still working out my feelings about it) and I told my best friend who said “oh yeah it’s super common.” This evil secret that made me feel like a leper all these years doesn’t have power over me. Honestly I've come to a peaceful acceptance of it. My thoughts are: we have a bullshit don’t ask don’t tell policy of herpes in the medical community. People aren’t encouraged to be tested and then 90% of people who have it don’t know. So we are left to be the responsible educators. It’s so common. If someone doesn’t want to hook up with get into a relationship with someone with an incredibly common skin issue that 1 in 8 Americans have (1 in 5 women) then cool, but you are going to miss out on some great people 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I don’t have time to feel bad about myself.

Last night after engaging in mutual masturnation with my partner, I came home to discover a very small sore I had somehow missed (tiny and no painful previous) despite checking. I know mutual masturbation is considered very low risk but how does this change with an active sore? The sore is at the top near my clitoris and he rarely touched that area (though I did) but touched himself after fingering me. I’m worried that lubrication/secretion spread the virus from the sore and was transmitted from his hands to his penis. How long is the virus alive? Does there near to be abrasions on his foreskin/shaft to transmit it? Help!!!