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Jasmine10

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Jasmine10 last won the day on October 24 2018

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  1. hi @alllgood thanks for your reply I am popping back into this forum after a hiatus where I just wanted to forget about this and live my life. Now that i've met a guy I like this nightmare is coming back and I felt like coming back again. almost a year later..it is definitely BETTER when I am not dating - many times I completely FORGET about it and even experience happiness again. But now that I've met someone I like...it's eating me again and and I feel upset that I may very well not pursue this relationship because I just don't want to have to deal with this shit. Yes if everyone with this could just donate to a gofundme to theravax or whatever we'd have millions of dollars! I am considering just being single until a cure comes out. i too pray for a vaccine/cure in the near future!!! that's kinda the one thing that gives me a bit of hope but gosh how many have already failed?! anyway it's been a long time since you posted this how are you feeling now? Just send me a PM cause I might miss your reply to this!
  2. Hi @LaurenElise I am popping back in after leaving the forums for a bit to forget about this condition - thank you so much for the reply I super appreciate it. I am tiptoeing back into the dating world and am reliving this nightmare all over again now that I have to actually think about it and it's making me want to go back to not dating. I Really really like your attitude about using this as a positive!!!
  3. Amazing thank you for the positive share!! it's true...if more people were tested and we all knew how common this really is it wouldn't have the terrible stigma it has. thank you for such a positive framing of this!!
  4. wow..I'm so touched to hear you come back every now and then to read my words..thank you for that acknowledgement. To know that my words can make even a bit of positive difference to someone else means so much to me.
  5. thank you for your compassion - and for sharing your feelings. Do have some compassion for yourself too 🙂 I am doing so much better now with regards to this, and life's way bigger challenges are now occupying my mind so much so that I don't even have much mental bandwidth to even think about this - I realize that there are much bigger things in life to focus our thoughts and energies on!
  6. I understand...heart hit the ground like pure gravity indeed. i had stomach palpitations (fear) for 2 days in a row. just being in total fear of my future life. I'm doing much better now a month in so I have faith you will get better too. As in some moments I actually feel - oh shit! I didn't think i could ever feel happy ever again but look here it is! 🙂 Sending you hope and soothing energy.
  7. oh i'm so glad to hear this thank you for sharing. I have shrink appt this week but i've been doing BETTER so i may not even need the anti depressants so that's good progress. glad u are doing so well after 6 weeks!!! and how suportive most have been!!! so so happy to hear that! this may not be as bad as i thought then..i just keep thinking EVERYONE is gonna bail!
  8. awww thank you @Amando!! certainly hope so!! so lucky your first was a successs!! 🙂
  9. Hey @Redfaith417 thank you SO much for offering support even tho you are sick and tired! yes you are right. There are way bigger catastrophes that sometimes i myself have to laugh at the ridiculousness of ending a life over this STUPID fucking little thing - but i know it's all the stigma. it's that stigma and thought that i'm now unlovable cos of this stupid fuckign stigma and i'm so so bad at it i'm so glad you are so posiive and thank u for sharing how you've handled so much worse. this is the worst thing to ever happen to me in my life which just shows how fortunate i had it before (not that i didn't have other chronic issues that actually cause me MORE pain but the emotional destruction of this is just SO severe w the stigma). anyway i'm doing my best now to find meaning in life other than with love and dating and see whether and how life can be worth living anyway. as of right now i can't imagine ever reaching the levels of joy and happiness i was enjoying right before this hit, but i'm hoping medication + meditation will at least get me somewhat back to normal. even HALF the level of joy I used to face will be better than this crushed feeling. thank you for sharing your strength.
  10. great post! Thank you so much for sharing your tips are great!
  11. just read this - sooooo fucking happy for you. tears in eyes. has he proposed??? YES! H CAN KISS YOUR ASS!
  12. wow so lucky you didn't have any emotional upset my goodness! well no wonder u didn't need meds! I've taken this waaay hard and am getting anxiety (at least i think it's anxiety, it's a VERY foreign feeling to me but i have all these stomach palpitations) how come this wasn't a big deal to you? that's amazing i can't believe it!! I just worry about all the rejection i'd face and the stress of worrying about transmission. I guess i should be more like u - why worry about the rejection until u get it? so you had 8 years of no upset then when the reality DID play out then you felt the upset but in the meantime that was 8 emotional upset free years (at least about this). whereas someone like me would have been anxious about rejection (that may well last 8 years) AND then still get the upset of a rejection (assuming i'd get rejected. i just assume it but who knows maybe i'll get lucky) on top of it. that's such a shame you thought she was incredibly special and this was a dealbreaker for her. THat's my biggest source of stress. what if my dream guy would have totally been with me and this is his ONE dealbreaker? I think that'd be incredibly hard to get over. i know they say well then he's not the right guy for you but i'm like but doesn't it just mean i'm not the right girl for him because of this ONE stupid reason? and if it weren't for it we could have otherwise been great? yes i will try to just not think negative like don't even shoot for the stars of positivity now and get on with my life n keep busy n ditracted. ok thank you 🙂 i will still find a GREAT guy!!! hopefully all the self growth i do as a result of this will bring me to a place where I'm actually MORe ready for My Right than had I continued going on my merry way of dating boat-loads of men and enjoying them with no serious rship in sight (or even on the agenda) thanks so much for taking the time to share and talk.
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