So, it's my reality. I've recently officially tested positive with HSV 2 and I don't really know how to process it all. Kinda saw it coming. I used protection, and she didn't disclose or didn't know (I don't know what to think) but there was a mishap and I apparently got in contact with the virus somehow a couple months ago.
I feel this all happened at the worst time too. I'm not gonna be filling this up with my life story or anything, but just when things were going somewhere with me, it feels life was there to remind not to feel better. Starting going through a very stressful rough patch and this was icing on the crap cake.
I kinda avoided hooking up and dating for quite sometime due to no motivation and whatnot, and when I finally take back the plunge, this is what I got to show for it.
I'm also diagnosed with things such as bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. drawing the short straw in mental health in my family apparently, so despite the tone of this post, I really am struggling to keep myself grounded and gaining a decent perspective.
I'm aware this is usually the case for a lot of people looking around. Feeling gross. Feeling practically subhuman. But I'm too ashamed to discuss this with anyone around me yet in person. I can't bring mysekf to even talk to some kind of professional yet. But I guess I need some kind of more direct contact to talk about this with, or anyone who can just give me some kind of advice.
I've gotten good at hiding my issues so no one suspects much of anything, but I'm practically internally screaming all the time. And when I'm alone, I find myself just focused on so much of this bad. I'm crying alot.
Maybe I'm being overdramatic, but it's not easy to calm my mind. I know I'm not alone, but I can't seem to stop feeling alone.
I even actively distanced myself from potential relationship prospects and friends in subtle ways due to me feeling so inferior or something nowadays. Spending unhealthy amounts of time locked in my room. Only with my dog who's the only one apparently aware something is wrong with me and making me very sad.
Again, maybe I'm being overdramatic or this is being extreme and I apollgize if I look silly because I don't really like feeling like I'm trying to seek some pity party, but I just need some kind of advice.
Some kind of direct contact to help me get a bit more content with an unfortunate circumstance. So I can start figuring this stuff out better. Even though there's steps to take in the right direction, my mind feels like it doesn't know the direction and feeling just lost. How did you deal? What is this deal?