[Should I just do supressive therapy anyway?]

22 hours ago, MissRealist said:

I would say wait and see only because I am someone who is on suppressive therapy for GHSV-1. I have had it for just over two year this past august. For the first year I was on episodic therapy only and it was miserable because I actually have a weakened immune system and my outbreak are triggered easily by illness, stress, or as a women my period. So if nothing else I was having a outbreak once a month. The only reason I didn't get the sores is we were able to stop them by knowing my prodrome warning symptoms and getting the antivirals on time to prevent the sore during the episodes. near the end of the first year we decided to switch to suppressive therapy. 

Don't get me wrong I love being on suppressive therapy, because I have only have 1 actual breakout the whole almost year and half since I have been on it. I can pin point why that outbreak occurred and it was some serious extenuating circumstances.  I also have not had the Prodrome symptoms show up that tell me I am viral shedding, which can happening with or without symptoms. being on suppressive therapy lowers viral shedding. 

The reason I say wait, is you stated you it hasn't really being showing to much besides some annoying itching. You maybe someone who your outbreaks will lessen unlike me or other unlucky individuals. However, if it bothersome you can get on suppressive therapy for a short time then go off of it to see if the virus has calmed down in your body. You could also get on a lower dose then average for suppressive therapy if your HSV ins't as active. These are just a few options. The best choice is to talk to your doctor and see what they think and what your most comfortable with. I shared my story so you could understand someone point of view who is on it. Yes I think its great if needed or wanted, but I personally (just my opinion) think its better to wait a little bit so you can understand the virus and how it is for your body and if it is gonna calm down or not for you personally. Maybe don't wait a year like my doctor wanted me to, I feel that was to long considering how bad mine were but you get the idea. 

I hope this helped or at least made sense!

Thanks. I didn't even know about these prodrome symptoms, and I do occasionally feel pains in my legs around my hip. I thought that could have been something else entirely. Still, it's not that prevalent. But I am talking to someone that I very well might start dating, and so I'm getting extra cautious. She already knows and says it doesn't make a difference to her, but I just wanna be sure. A part of me wants to still just do it because also the anxiety and it's better to be safe than sorry, but I appreciate your input. 

[Should I just do supressive therapy anyway?]

So I haven't been dealing with outbreaks very frequently aside from the initial ones back in June/July. It's November now and just two days ago I started showing again, albeit not very bad at all. And the most I've dealt with regularly is some annoying itching but no sores until two days ago. 

I read that some people get this stuff treated on an episodic basis, or let it pass. Should I just hit up my doctor and ask for meds regardless and possibly start regularly taking them? I also do take meds for bipolar daily and don't know if this will really factor much here but that's what I'll see a doctor for. But you think it's just better even if outbreaks aren't as frequent? 

[Is a more casual sex life still doable?]

So I've been dealing with the reality of my situation for a while, and it's depressing how its made my entire love life just nonexistent. I haven't dated or had sex in months now. Almost half a year. I've always been responsible and never reckless with my encounters being an avid member of the kink community, but I still, unfortunately, came in contact with HSV 2 through a mishap even with protection. Just my luck I guess. 

And the frustration is indeed affecting me more and more. I know it sounds bad considering most of us probably caught this through casual sex encounters, and I'm not looking to be shamed or judged, but I've always been a pretty sexual person. It's been way too long for comfort. 

But I'm not the type of person that would refuse to disclose. That's wrong because I'm pretty sure this is what happened to me with someone I got to know and thought I could trust. I'm still aware the rejection for this type of stuff is higher than if it's with someone who I'd hypothetically be dating and is more emotionally invested, but I don't date for real very often and I really don't want my sex life to continue to be so barren. 

I've been nervous to talk about this because I get how some people would view this kind of post. Society can have a lot of weird hangups on things like sexuality and the people who embrace it. We're supposed to be ashamed of admitting that we enjoy sex and indulge in it often. Like we're degenerate whores and since we actually caught an STI, it would just reinforce this kind of judgment on us. It's exhausting. 

So the title speaks for itself. I've been actually putting myself out there again after actively avoiding connection because I felt so goddamn terrible about myself and the prospects have risen. If it comes to it I will obviously tell them. But is this kind of lifestyle still doable? Are some of you successful in this endeavor? Or do I just have to come to terms with the fact that my sex life will never be the same? I mean, it obviously will never be truly the same, but it feels like what was once a big aspect of my life is now going to be hopeless and I shouldn't attempt to even try.

This sites motto is "it's not a dealbreaker". But let's get real, is it really one for this? 

[I have it, and not in the best headspace]

On 10/6/2018 at 8:41 AM, Sil88 said:

Hey, you remind me of myself. 4 years ago, I caught hsv2 from a girl who didn't tell me or didn't know. I had the exact feelings you are describing, which amplified the depression and anxiety I already had. We tried to develop the relationship, but this week I realised it was built on sand and it's fallen away. So now I'm sat with my dog in my room too.. it's funny how they know.

You don't seem overdramatic - in fact, it seems like you've taken it in your stride (at least, more than I did). Let me tick off the things that did or did not help in my experience. I told a couple of friends, but it was quite soon.. so at the time, I was over-reacting and I probably described it in the worst way possible. Pros are - it's good to get it off your chest, and the occasional Walking Dead joke is appreciated. Cons are - at first, they're ignorant and check it's okay to share food and stuff (revise your facts first). And think twice if you may want them to set you up with one of their friends in future.

Relaxation - it's probably good that you're already dealing with mental health stuff, since you may have practiced relaxation techniques, mindfulness, CBT etc. As you'll have read, the virus thrives on stress so it really makes a difference. Hot baths, an exercise routine, and actually giving some thought to eating healthily did the trick too.

The feeling gross bit faded pretty quickly, I wouldn't worry about that. At first I was hyper-hygienic, but as outbreaks become much less common (hopefully), you tend to forget.

I'm not sure what direction is right for you, but for the time being you just get to the end of each day/week until you're firmer on your feet.

Finally, the symptoms can be weird..especially combined with generic anxiety ones.. so don't get too imaginative if you do notice any.

Anyway, keep on top of it - I suspect you'll realise a lot of the questions you have were there before herpes, you just needed it to bring them into focus. There are actually some positives to catching this - I mean, even when dating (when you feel like it), it's an opportunity to prove your integrity, honesty, communication skills and show a little vulnerability. Outside of dating, it's a kick up the ass to fix things and you may grow more independent. Whatever doesn't kill you..

I really appreciate this. I was able to talk a bit about it with one of my closest online friends, and she was reasuring me that her opinion on me didn't change in the slightest. I feel kinda bad for doubting someone like her, as I'm sure my good friends won't think what I'm thinking. 

Still, it's easier to say than do. I'm still seeing someone who I hate. I feel like I did something very wrong. I never considered ANY kind of silver lining, and I'm hoping I can learn to make better with the hand I've been dealt. 

It just feels like such a long, uphill battle for me. I stopped doing things I enjoy and even stopped working on my novel. 

But you gave me some stuff to think about. Thanks. 

[I have it, and not in the best headspace]

On 10/6/2018 at 6:44 AM, Kitzia said:

I was just diagnosed this week too. I found that telling my two closest friends was my turning point. They shared my anger, my sadness, and ultimately got me to see some humor in my situation. Not that herpes is funny, but you really have to forgive yourself and not blame yourself. Sure learn from it, but don’t let it keep you down.

I also found that the partners that I told about it weren’t angry, but told me that I was brave for letting them know and thanked me? It was bizarre, but I guess H is really as common as you read.

Something that I thought was going to be the end of my life turned into a way for me to grow up and have very mature conversations with the people around me. I think that if you start to open up you’ll see it’s not that bad. People will still love you regardless of this virus. It just takes a little time to get there, and you don’t have to rush.

Chin up and feel free to reach out to me if you need a friend.

I've only been able to talk about it a bit with one of my closest friends online. But it is the reality of the situation, so eventually I'll have to come to terms with it and adapt. 

Thanks for the response though.

[I have it, and not in the best headspace]

So, it's my reality. I've recently officially tested positive with HSV 2 and I don't really know how to process it all. Kinda saw it coming. I used protection, and she didn't disclose or didn't know (I don't know what to think) but there was a mishap and I apparently got in contact with the virus somehow a couple months ago. 

I feel this all  happened at the worst time too. I'm not gonna be filling this up with my life story or anything, but just when things were going somewhere with me, it feels life was there to remind not to feel better. Starting going through a very stressful rough patch and this was icing on the crap cake. 

I kinda avoided hooking up and dating for quite sometime due to no motivation and whatnot, and when I finally take back the plunge, this is what I got to show for it. 

I'm also diagnosed with things such as bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. drawing the short straw in mental health in my family apparently, so despite the tone of this post, I really am struggling to keep myself grounded and gaining a decent perspective. 

I'm aware this is usually the case for a lot of people looking around. Feeling gross. Feeling practically subhuman. But I'm too ashamed to discuss this with anyone around me yet in person. I can't bring mysekf to even talk to some kind of professional yet. But I guess I need some kind of more direct contact to talk about this with, or anyone who can just give me some kind of advice.

I've gotten good at hiding my issues so no one suspects much of anything, but I'm practically internally screaming all the time. And when I'm alone, I find myself just focused on so much of this bad. I'm crying alot.

Maybe I'm being overdramatic, but it's not easy to calm my mind. I know I'm not alone, but I can't seem to stop feeling alone.

 I even actively distanced myself from potential relationship prospects and friends in subtle ways due to me feeling so inferior or something nowadays. Spending unhealthy amounts of time locked in my room. Only with my dog who's the only one apparently aware something is wrong with me and making me very sad.

Again, maybe I'm being overdramatic or this is being extreme and I apollgize if I look silly because I don't really like feeling like I'm trying to seek some pity party, but I just need some kind of advice. 

Some kind of direct contact to help me get a bit more content with an unfortunate circumstance. So I can start figuring this stuff out better. Even though there's steps to take in the right direction, my mind feels like it doesn't know the direction and feeling just lost. How did you deal? What is this deal?