DNC84

Savannah1981 I agree it’s definitely something I need to get used to for sure. It’s not going away and I have to try and have a better mindset about it. Herpes in the big scheme of things is so minuscule. I have to try and not let it define me because aside from having this skin condition (which is all it is!!) I have so many good qualities and attributes that I’m sure the right guy someday will appreciate and look past the hsv. I think for us it’s just a matter of having to suck it up, not be so ashamed and fearful and be confident in ourselves as this is just a teeny tiny piece of who we are. As im sure you can tell, today I feel better about things. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions but I think self focus and trying to be and feel the best you can is the healthiest route to go. It’s way easier said than done and I have my ups and downs with it all the time. I feel bad about my situation and the rejection but I try not to let it sit there for too long. It’s best not to worry about things out of my control and I cannot control how people are going to react to it but I can choose how I decide to deal with it and I need to just better adopt the idea that if I’m rejected over something this stupid then that person was not the right one for me anyhow. Like I said yesterday- I was totally feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party but today is a new day and I’m choosing to try and have a better outlook. I think what’s best (for me anyways) is to have the “zero F****” attitude. Lol. I am who I am take it or leave it but always know it is their loss if they choose to not get to know me over something so trivial. And I say trivial because as I’m sure most people can attest to on here, having herpes is basically a non issue in our lives other than when it comes to dating and having to disclose the information and wait for the judgement process to begin. Best of luck to you and I hope you find peace and happiness as you are not defined by a freaking cold sore. Lol I mean how ridiculous right!? I have hope the right guy will come along for both of us when the time is right and it is the right guy 🙂

I can totally identify with what you’re going through. I haven’t dated much in the past 5 years for fear of having to disclose when things got to a certain point. I finally decided I would try online dating. I had been talking with a new guy for a month, day in and day out, we went on a few dates which went very well. He was clearly very into me, messaging me good morning each day, calling me “cutie”, just really sweet. I was really into him as well. Then I decided to disclose to him I was hsv2 positive and he ran for the hills. Completely ghosted me. It’s evident he was not emotionally available and that is not what I am looking for however it’s hard to know that if I didn’t have this, we would still be dating. I try to remind myself that everything happens for a reason and he’s just not the right one or apparently even the person I had thought. However it’s a tough pill to swallow to go from being so desirable to someone to being absolutely revolting. That’s what I hate about having this. The rejection totally sucks. Then when I work up the nerve to start dating again, I’m already anticipating the rejection or the up in the air of not knowing how they will react. Am I going to waste another month or two getting to know someone before they straight up reject me? I know it’s not the best way to look at it and I try and keep positive but it’s just the reality of the situation. I wish I did not have this. I know it doesn’t define me however it does to a lot of people and that totally sucks. I don’t feel like a victim it’s just tough to deal with sometimes. I build my confidence up time and time again and keep getting rejected. I’m human, I can only take so much before I want to just throw in the towel. Sometimes I think I just have to accept the fact that I’m just going to be alone for the rest of my life. If you get burned by a stove you don’t keep putting your hand on the stove. That’s how I feel about dating lately. I keep getting burned and I don’t want to get burned anymore. I will continue to work and focus on myself and maybe at some point the right guy will come along but I’m putting myself on the bench for awhile to try and come back from another rejection. I suppose it’s all in your attitude and how you feel about yourself and the situation and how you relay it but it’s very hard to not feel like a total piece of crap when you keep getting thrown away for a freaking skin rash. My life is great in all areas of my life...aside from having to disclose this information when dating. It’s the only thing in my life that is stalled and not progressing. At this point I’m venting, I don’t have the answers but I figured I’d at least start finding other people who are going through the same things and maybe get some help for myself because it’s clear what I’m doing isn’t working. Thanks for listening and reading.