sicarox

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them. I feel like I've been dealt some unfortunate hands in my life, but I've never found so much support and information from a community of fellow "sufferers" (I see it as suffering right now, but I KNOW my perspective will change, eventually). It's really awesome having this forum to come to. WCSDancer2010 thanks for the links, I don't know why I've been procrastinating to read them. They're really informative and I'm going to have them on hand when I tell my bestie soon. Peachyogurtisawesome I hope I have the same experience when I tell my bestie, she's been my close friend since seventh-grade! I'm nervous, but I'm sure she'll be loving and understanding. It feels awesome telling strangers about my H status, I can only imagine how awesome it will be to tell my best friend. NexisLexis I've read online about that major league baseball dude. I'm wondering how accurate that info is though. If those celebrities really are HSV positive, then they totally suck for not using their star power to break the stigma of the virus. I feel kind of hypocritical saying this, because I'm not ready to share my H status with the world, but it'd be awesome if everyone with the virus immediately made it public knowledge. We'd never feel alone. Maybe it wouldn't even be that big of a deal.

THanks so much, I loved the video and your letter! You are my hero!

I found out I'm HSV positive about four weeks ago. I'm not sure which one I have yet. I'm going to see my primary doctor during the holiday break to get that figured out. I'm not sure how soon I'll really be able to know because my blood tests were negative at the time of my primary episode so my doctor may not be able to give me an accurate blood test for a few months. Is that how it works? I think if I'm not having an episode (which I haven't had another one since the first one) they can't really tell which one it is so early in the virus. I like to think that I'm being very practical and level headed about my diagnosis but, still, it's pretty strange. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I can only describe it as a roller coaster. I feel like one moment I'm okay with it and the next moment I'm feeling yucky about it. I haven't bounced back yet. I don't really feel like going out or anything but, at the same time I'm kind of lonely. Kind of dumb. I'm pretty sure it'll pass. I'm just really nervous about telling my loved ones. Like my best friend and sister/roomie. Oh gosh, I can't tell my mom anytime soon, that's for sure. Anyway, I've no clue what my thesis statement is of this post (can you tell it's the end of the semester?) But, I know it will feel wonderful getting this off my chest. So here it is: my name is Jessica and I have genital herpes.

Juvia, first of all, I loved your post. The way you described everything was real and beautiful and you're obviously a really intelligent chick. I found out about my HSV status only about a month ago, so I'm still trying to decide how I feel about it myself. I think it's kind of like a roller coaster. Second of all, PeasNCarrots is right. I don't think you should be so hard on yourself about the situation with your ex. The good thing is that he was a consensual partner who chose to have sex with you while knowing there was a possibility of getting it too. (Of course) this is just speculation, but, he says casual sex is something he doesn't look forward to giving up, so, it's safe to say he might engage in casual sex (maybe even with a person who is HSV positive). There is a possibility that you gave it to him. There is a possibility you didn't give it to him. You'll never know but, should you live with intense guilt over a possibility? And I think you and I share very similar HSV contraction experiences. I'm wondering if the difficulty you're still having in coming to terms with HSV is because it came from a not-so-wanted sexual experience. I'm not sure how long it takes someone to come to terms with the H status, but it seems you might want to look into that aspect of the situation if you haven't already. It may be part of your acceptance process. Just a thought, I'm totally not an expert at all but, girl I feel your pain. AAAnnnnd, I'm totally gonna use your "I'm a man" technique before the H news if I decide to date in the future!