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WCSDancer2010 last won the day on August 8

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  1. WCSDancer2010


    Hello! Sorry for the delay in replying... life have taken me away from here (and will continue to do so for awhile so my replies will be sporadic) It takes a lot longer than a few weeks for antibodies to build up so I'd ignore this test. If you were going to a GP, STOP. GP's are not (IMO) the people to go to for our private parts. Especially women (unclear if your are a woman or man..LOL). The fact that they gave you meds with no symptoms tells me they have no clue about the HSV virus anyway. Sadly many doctors are woefully misinformed and/or behind the times with the protocols. If you are a woman, go to an OBGYN (if this was an OB, change doctors) in about 4-6 months and get retested. If you are a guy, I'd go to a STD clinic or Planned Parenthood. They have a better chance of being better informed than a GP. Hope that puts your mind to rest... whatever the result, HSV isn't the end of the world.... it just means that you need to get smarter and more informed about safe sexual practices.... and it can even help you weed out people who wouldn't be good for you in the end. (((HUGS)))
  2. WCSDancer2010

    Concerned parent

    Thank you so much for the information. I think the doctor was very disappointed with her and in return didn't test for the type. If the Dr was "disappointed" in your daughter I'm glad you are looking for another Dr. Please get her to an OBGYN or Planned Parenthood. She needs someone who is up to date on the latest info and who realizes that H is an incredibly common STD and that it doesn't mean you are "less worthy" if you get it. It just means you lost the crap shoot of having sex .... and it's not her Dr's place to pass judgement. I assume the Dr was a PCP/Family Dr? If so, they can be the worst as they really are not well informed about H (they are "generalists" so they can't read everything that comes across their desk). I tell people, if you have a specialty item, you go to the specialist that deals with that item (ie: you go to the Mercedes dealer to have your Benz serviced, or the Appliance guy to get your washer fixed)..... so IMO you should always go to the person who is best informed about whatever part of your body happens to have an issue.... and I feel pretty strongly that GP's shouldn't EVER do OBGYN or Mental Health diagnosis... both areas have come so far in their knowledge base that I think that there's just no way for them to ever be thoroughly informed on the subjects. But that's just my opinion... LOL I got H1 oral as a child and H2 genital with my very first sexual experience.... tho I didn't know until years later what that persistent yeast-type infection was....and at 55+ I've had a great life. Tell her that at least she knows she has it.... because 80% don't know they have it and are more likely to pass it on because of that... It will be ok Mom.... I know you are worried for her.... just be careful to encourage her to understand that she's still the beautiful soul she always has been. Your acceptance of the situation will have a HUGE impact on her in the long run :) (((HUGS))) http://m.jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/194/1/42.long Knowledge of Partners’ Genital Herpes Protects against Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2 Acquisition
  3. WCSDancer2010

    Caught in a Cycle of Anger/Regret

    So glad that our previous threads and discussions helped you to get to a place of relative peace so quickly! I haven't been on much in the last 6 or so months because of some family/life stuff but I try to peek in at times, and it makes me happy when I see that my comments are still helping people. You may or may not get 5-6 OB's a year. Herpes is a fickle thing. That's one of the most frustrating things about it... you just can't tell how YOUR body will deal with it. And yes, you will survive, thrive, and find love .... as a 35+ yr carrier who basically has had it my whole sexual life (AND H1 since childhood) I have had a pretty average love life. Sure, some have walked away when I disclosed. But I realized they were more interested in getting INTO me than getting into ME. As I'm not looking for a fuck buddy, and I want a real relationship, their reaction saved me from a much worse hurt down the road if I got involved and fell in love with them. So in a way, I'm thankful... I've got one hell of a Wingman who helps me quickly weed out the men who may be nice guys, but who are not a good fit for what I want. :) (((HUGS)))
  4. WCSDancer2010

    Quality of life

    Yes, but you will have to CHOOSE to come out of the darkness at some point. As I said elsewhere, right now, it's normal and even "healthy" to go through this part. Odds are H is bringing up insecurities and unprocessed negative experiences and beliefs from your past. So try to be patient with this part of the process. But honey, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what YOU make of it. So you can choose to believe that this is the end of the world for you, or you can choose to use it as a growth experience where you explore the feelings this is bringing up and then work to find ways to bring peace to those emotions. You can choose to let the stigma run your life, or you can choose to see H as a nuisance skin condition. You can avoid dating for fear of rejection, or let H be your Wingman who will show you who your REAL friends and loved ones are. It's really that simple - even though it doesn't seem that way right now...
  5. WCSDancer2010

    I'm 57, single and herpes free but...

    So - if you are finding that your anxiety levels are fluctuating around the proposition of acquiring H, why don't you find other ways to get yer freak on? That could help you to continue to grow the relationship until you know, without a doubt, that you are at peace with the situation. And it will create one heck of a great foundation for you to fall back on if you ever have kids and need to keep things spiced up. LOL :)
  6. WCSDancer2010

    I finally got to tell my giver !

    The longer you wait the harder it will be to tell... at this point if his results are below .9 he's either negative or hasn't built the antibodies and if he's not a lot over odds are he just got it. No use getting the IgM as it's notoriously unreliable... but the IgG would give you some clarity. And if he's a higher number like you are, well, then he can't blame you either as neither would know who gave it to who... tho as I said elsewhere, given your time frame between sex and OB, odds are HE gave it to you ...
  7. WCSDancer2010

    Synergy pharmaceuticals

    There are no cures for herpes. Perhaps there are some studies and **potential** cures, but nothing out there on the market. Anyone who says they can cure herpes are selling snake oil. It's possible they have ingredients that help to suppress the virus so people stop having ob's and believe they are cured, but they could still be shedding.... and odds are you can get the same ingredients for a lot less from your local health food store.
  8. WCSDancer2010

    I'm 57, single and herpes free but...

    @Triumph Hello, Welcome, and Sooo glad you found us! I'm a 35+ yr veteran of HSV2 and I've had HSV1 oral since I was about 2 or 3. To my knowledge the only person that I gave H2 to was my ex hubby, when I didn't know that I had it ( I like many didn't know my "yeast infections" and what I thought was rubs from sex were outbreaks). I had several sexual partners before him (got H from my first sexual experience.... *sigh*) who I don't believe got it (no one ever came back to me about it) and I've had several since, including two 3 yr relationships... no condoms ... and I used suppressive therapy with the last one per his request (but not the other, per his request) and neither got it from me. @ihaveittoo is another long time veteran who can hopefully chime in here too. As you have learned, most women in our age bracket (I'm in my 50's) have genital HSV so odds are you have been unwittingly exposed already. As we get older we women tend to have fewer OB's once we hit menopause (periods seem to be a big trigger for some) so I think that helps us to reduce how much we pass it on too. One last thought.... for me, an OB is the perfect time to find other ways to be intimate and get my freak on. So rather than seeing it as a "bad" thing, use those times to learn other ways to play and explore and learn about each other's bodies... :)
  9. WCSDancer2010

    Herpes break out while in labor

    @Mar1212 Hello! Well, sorry this didn't get answered and I expect that you have had your baby by now ... but I would have told you that at this point you just plain have to let the professionals help you figure out what the best route is when you go into labor ... yes they should look at the cervix for any lesions and if there's anything suspicious then a C-section is in order. It's a shame as most Dr's put carriers on Acyclovir for the last month to keep this from happening. In the future make sure that the Dr gets you on them for the last month... AND know that you can have a V-Bac and have a natural birth after c-section (I know, because I did it) for future babies...
  10. @Parsley Hey there! Just a FYI - I have a client who was married 30+ yrs before she had her first OB ... brought on by the stress of the Christmas holidays... it's so hard to know exactly *which* stress will bring on an OB in a long time asymptomatic carrier.... but as a Massage Therapist I would say that the stress of the betrayal of your husband cheating on you is one hell of a huge stressor that will be draining your body's immune system more than just about anything out there. So it's very possible that even with all the other stressors you mentioned, that you could have had it all along and only just now had your first symptoms. AND ... you may never know who gave it to who if your hubby comes up positive... the only thing you will know is that if you have a value over 1.5ish then odds are you had it over 4 months. It takes about that amount of time to get into the range where you are considered positive and even then, if a person is under a 3.5 value with no symptoms, it could be a false positive. Most Dr's are actually poorly informed about how to interpret the test results but your value of 12 doesn't tell us anything except that you have had it over 4 months. Which test did your Dr give you BTW? And do you have your results for the HSV1 and 2 separately? As in, was the 12 value for HSV2? Anyway, get back to us with your hubby's test results and we can help you to gain some clarity. And BTW, odds are the other woman *believes* she's been tested. Most Dr's won't test for HSV unless you *specifically* ask for it. So it's quite possible she honestly believes she's been tested.
  11. WCSDancer2010

    This place is a judgment-free zone

    @Sassyhart First - hello and welcome! Glad you found us! So - right now the only one here judging you is yourself... and that's pretty normal at this stage of your diagnosis because our society doesn't educate us well about the facts when it comes to sex, STD's and HSV in particular. Quick note about me: I got HSV1 oral as a child (60% of young children get it from other kids in childhood... I was maybe 2 or so when I first got it). I got HSV2 on my FIRST sexual experience at about 17. Talk about shitty odds, eh? I'm ...well... lets just say I'm well past 50 now, and so I've lived my whole sexual life with BOTH kinds of HSV. You are concerned about passing this in and that's the responsible way to be... but the truth of the matter is that those of us who KNOW we are carriers are actually less likely to pass it on than the asymptomatic carriers (like your Joe). 80% of carriers are asymptomatic ... so odds are pretty much anyone that is at all sexually active has/will be exposed to a carrier or carriers in their life. And sometimes we just plain lose the crap shoot. 80% of people have one kind of herpes or other. Given you can pass oral HSV1 to the genitals through oral sex, the majority of us are in the Herpes boat.... the problem is *most* carriers don't know they have H. And thanks to really abysmal sex ed and pretty much no education from our Dr's and health care system, that ignorance isn't going away any time soon. My point is, if you think you are dirty and a whore, odds are most people around you are dirty whores as well... most just don't know it... lol. Right now, you need to give yourself time to adapt to your new "reality" and you need to get educated about the truth concerning Herpes. You need to talk to people who are further along in their journeys. And I suggest strongly that you read the "Success Stories" ...because it doesn't necessarily have to be over between you and "Fred".... there are many, MANY couples where one is H+ and the other is H- . There are suppressive medications that you can take and we just learn what our prodromes, (pre-outbreak warning symptoms) are.... and the kinda "positive" thing is that an outbreak gives us the perfect excuse to learn other ways to get our freak on with our partners. I suggest that you start with the links below so you can get some accurate info and hopefully some clarity about the reality of Herpes so that you can start to let go of your self-judgement and shame. And be patient with the process.... you just got shocking news and it takes awhile to become educated and adjust to the small changes we have to make in our lives to accommodate this virus. The wonderful thing is that you are here among friends and people who will walk with you through this. (((HUGS))) http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ Handouts + disclosure e-book: http://eepurl.com/b4IPP Herpes facts video
  12. WCSDancer2010

    Tale of two broken hearts and herpes

    @sweetheart89 Hello and Welcome! First off, I just want to acknowledge you for doing the right thing, and disclosing to this guy. You did everything to keep your integrity intact. The lesson you are getting here is sometimes you can't foresee how someone will react in a situation. As a 35+ yr veteran of Herpes, I can tell you that you WILL be ok as long as you don't allow this ONE incident to define you or how future relationships will go. As you will see in my blog that @ihaveittoo posted (thanks friend!) herpes can show you how someone might react in a situation. I personally want a man in my life who is level headed no matter what comes along... someone who will take the initial "oh shit" but quickly go into "ok, let me get educated *before* I freak out".... because there are many, many "oh shit" situations that come along in our life. I've had someone freak on me in a similar situation that came back once his very up front Dr schooled him on the reality of STD's and the risks of having sex. He realized that as long as I was on the meds and that if we were careful about not getting frisky if I thought something might be up, that his risk was likely LOWER than if he's out having sex with someone who might not know their status. We were together 3 yrs (I broke up with him for other reasons completely unrelated to this). I've also had guys freak out. While it sucks at the time, I'm thankful I learned that about them.... because most wouldn't get educated (I gave them "the talk" but also asked that they go to certain resources so they made a fully informed choice to be with me). That showed me that they would jump into bed with me and assume the risk until something went "wrong" then bolt. They cared more about getting *into* me than getting into *me* ... or caring about how *I* would be affected if this kind of accident happened and they freaked out. And just a reality check here... odds are he's been exposed to H many times in his past if he's been *at all* sexually active (ie, not a man whore but just having had a normal dating/sex life). 80% of people have oral herpes so if he's had oral sex he's been exposed to HSV1. One in 5 of all women have HSV2 so again, he may have been exposed and never known it. The research actually shows that transmission rates are higher for those who don't know they have the virus because when you know you have it, you use condoms, take the meds, avoid sex when things seem like you might have an OB coming on, etc. And one thing about HPV - the CDC says that EVERYONE who is *at all* sexually active (as in, not in a LONG term monogamous relationship) is likely to get at least 1 of the 30+ types of HPV that are out there. Sucks that you got it with your first relationship, but I got HSV2 over 35 yrs ago with my first sexual experience ... I got HSV1 as a child (very common...60% of kids have it by the time they are 18) and HPV with my first real relationship. Yeah - Go me! And I've since been married 20 yrs, (divorced for other reasons), and had 2 three year relationships. Herpes is just one of many, many "deal breakers" ... and what's a deal breaker for one person isn't even on the DB radar of another. I've had men get really upset with me because I won't date them because they smoke, they have kids, they are not "fiscally responsible" (as in, smart with whatever they earn ... not meaning that they need to make a lot... the guy I broke up with went bankrupt last year... and he had a good job). We all have things we are comfortable with and things we are not comfortable with. You WILL find someone who really doesn't care about you having herpes. Promise. Read that blog and hang around here. Check out the Success Stories (we have tons!). Talk to us "old timers". Don't listen to people who don't have H who tell you to not disclose... in fact, ask them how *they* would feel if they dated someone and later learned they knew all along that they had H...NOT the way you want to start a relationship.. with lies and hiding things...right??? ((HUGS)))
  13. WCSDancer2010

    Supplements Garcinia Cambogia

    So the question was whether this stuff would cause the OB? I'm guessing no. BUT, given that it's relatively new, who knows. You would need to find a total breakdown of the chemicals and see if it has a high amount of Argenine in it. I just did a quick google and can't get that info BUT also be careful that the one you bought isn't cut with other stuff like HCA... which is a way that some of these places will make it cheaper ( the stuff that is by the best companies won't be cut with anything other than possibly Potassium to help absorption) The "good stuff" will probably cost you close to $40-50/bottle. If you are using one of the cheaper ones, then there are more things you need ot research to see if there would be something like Argenine in it that *might* cause an OB.... @wcsdancer2010 Have you been able to find any info on this? I'm a week into the first OB and have been taking this along with green tea and organic apple cider vinegar with mother for a few weeks now. It's crossed my mind on possible causes of an OB since it's something new I've been doing. Sorry, no. But it's not been something that is high on my personal priority list.... If this is your first OB, then it's because you likely just got the virus. Which means you just have to ride it out... do the things we have listed to help to knock it down (links below. I suggest you keep a journal of what you are eating, activities, stressors, etc ... see if you can see a pattern for what makes it worse. I often say that Herpes is like a "first responder" to the health of your body ... although in the first few months, it's often just that your body needs time to figure out how to get it under control. Second - attack it from the outside ... I'm going to put a bunch of links but generally Epsom Salts baths (drop a double handful of the salts between your legs so its concentrated there), followed by thorough drying (even using a hair drier to get it really dry), maybe going commando, and using Bactine (which helps to kill the virus AND numb it thanks to the lidocaine in it) ... or my favorite, Ammonium Alum ... but there's LOTS of suggestions in the links. I find if you attack it from the outside, the inside can do it's job better :) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6024/dealing-with-outbreaks#latest includes links below http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7595/bactine-wipes-and-some-motivational-quotes http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122 http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time- http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/genital-ulcers.htm#hsv Links to some of the items suggested in the links http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil http://bit.ly/Zinccream http://bit.ly/Calendula_Salve http://tinyurl.com/bactine http://amzn.to/1oUDY2n Chaga Mushroom http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV
  14. WCSDancer2010

    I disclose immediately

    @whoknew Hello and Welcome! The thing is there's no "right" time to disclose (as long as it's before sex) and we all do it at different times and different ways. I've also disclosed early (even had it on my dating profiles when I was active) and like you, had men contact me BECAUSE OF my honesty, even if they weren't sure what having H meant. Some wait till there's a real solid connection hoping it will keep the person from walking. Personally I think if they are going to walk, they will do it no matter when you tell them. When someone disappears that early, odds are that's just their game. If they don't have the GUTS to step up and explain why they are not continuing with you, you are ahead of the game if they disappear. Don't need anyone in the "no balls club" IMO. LOL. Sounds like you are still working out what works for you. Just remember that if someone chooses to not be with you, it's not a reflection on YOU or H. It's just that they have their needs, desires, and priorities and there are sooooo many things that can halt a budding relationship.... H is just one of many, many "deal breakers". These may help if you come across someone who needs a little eduction :) http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ Handouts + disclosure e-book: http://eepurl.com/b4IPP Herpes facts video
  15. WCSDancer2010

    Herpes and peeing problems

    Best thing when you have peeing problems is cool water over the area when you are peeing or even better, get into a bathtub of water or the shower and run water over the area... it keeps the urine from sitting on the area and keeps the bacteria down. Right after, pat the area down, spray with Bactine (it's the same thing that's in Oragel Single Dose, and a LOT less expensive) then pat the area dry,, followed by drying the area with a blow drier if possible. Do everything you can to keep the area cool and dry (go commando if you can ... skirts are your friend ladies!) ... that helps dry the H and keeps bacterial complications at bay :) Oh , and Epsom Salts baths are great for drying things out too :) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time- http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7595/bactine-wipes-and-some-motivational-quotes http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122 http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/genital-ulcers.htm#hsv Links to some of the items suggested in the links http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil http://bit.ly/Zinccream http://bit.ly/Calendula_Salve http://tinyurl.com/bactine http://amzn.to/1oUDY2n Chaga Mushroom http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV