SadButHopeful

I actually don't know where he has it since he's never had an outbreak. I just assumed he had it on his mouth and just didn't know. Also ive been reading that if you have genital hsv1 then it comes from oral sex. I figured since we kissed more than he gave me oral sex then it would be likely that I have it in both places.

Just saw that you have the same question as me. Looks like we have the same anxiety. My primary outbreak was on my genitals with my symptoms starting 9 days ago and now I feel like I'm in this wait and see mode for oral. I suppose I would have broken out already, but just wish I knew for sure!

How can I be sure I only have it in one place? Is it possible for me to have an oral outbreak after my primary genital outbreak? I've been pretty paranoid about it.

Thanks WCSDancer2010. We both got blood tests that were negative for hsv-2. His doctor originally told him they don't bother doing blood tests for hsv-1 since almost everyone has it anyway and there is no way to tell where it is unless there is an outbreak. This is all so crazy to me. I don't even know what to think anymore. Deep breath.

So I finally received my test results. Looks like I'm positive for HSV-1. While still is quite a shock, I'm not as devastated knowing that I'm really not alone out there. My new guy is still supporting me which has been great. Not sure if he'll be in it for the long haul, but it gives me hope that he didn't look at me in disgust when I got my results. I guess I'm unsure of what do do next though. I'm still pretty sure he gave me herpes, but I have no idea if it was from oral or vaginal sex since he's never had any outbreaks of any kind. Should he be tested for hsv-1 to see if he has previous exposure? I would hate to pass something to him.

Thanks you for your encouraging words! I was able to call my new guy and was surprised at how supportive he was. I'm so glad that I reached out to him. He made me realize that while it still sucks, it's not the end of the world. I've decided that life is too short to spend it throwing myself a continuous pity party over a mild skin infection. I'm still the smart, funny, beautiful and amazing person I was a week ago. And there is no reason that I can't still go out and enjoy all the things in life. So while I'm still sad and I'm crying as I write this, I know that I will get thru it. And I'm going to reach out to my friends for support. I finally have the courage. I mean, what's the point of having friends if they aren't there to help you thru your darkest moments. This may actually help me since I've taken such poor care of myself lately. This will force me to pay close attention to my body to keep it as healthy as possible. Kind of a harsh wake up call, and I know some days will be harder than others, but with my support network I know I'll be ok. There's no reason for me to be alone.

First off, I would like to say that reading these posts has been very therapeutic for me. I am 99.9% sure that I'm suffering thru my first herpes outbreak and the emotional turmoil has been brutal to say the least. The flu part of this first outbreak has been the more difficult physical challenge. I've been lucky that my downstairs irritation has been mild. Shame definitely equals fear of disconnection which is why I haven't been able to confide in anyone to this point which leave me feeling so helplessly alone. I can't stop crying and the anxiety is terrible. I know it's normal to feel this way, but I'm having trouble seeing how I'll ever feel like myself ever again. I spent such a long time with super low self esteem and recently I had done a lot to boost my self confidence. Enough so that I decided to really put myself out there for finding love again. I was married for five years and got divorced three years ago. I totally withdrew myself from finding love after that. But recently with my new self confidence I thought I was ready. I met a nice guy who I actually still think we have potential. We dated and got to know each other for a month. We talked about STD's and both of us claimed a clean bill of health. So imagine my surprise when a week after we were first intimate that I have this full blown herpes outbreak. He still claims it can't be from him since he's never had symptoms and none of his partners have ever had symptoms. But I find it so hard to believe that I've had this virus dormant for so many years even though my doctor said it was possible and that I can't truly know for sure who have it to me. I mean, it's been 13 years since I had another partner. How can I be the only one with symptoms? Either way, he's actually been pretty supportive and checking on me regularly, but I'm afraid of what will happen once we get our results. What if I'm positive and he is negative? I'm afraid of laying out all my anxiety on him since we really just met and I don't want to scare him away. I feel so very, very alone and need some support but I don't know where to turn to.