Sabrinalexandra

Wish I would have found this sooner, because at least I could have gone into that conversation with more facts. I feel better prepared for the next time and there will be a next time. Rejection sucks, but it won't stop me!

I was diagnosed 5yrs ago and got it from oral sex as well. I can tell you the outbreaks do get better, but they are definitely the worst at first and may take a while to build up the immunity. I did go on daily suppressive therapy, which has made a world of difference. You should most definitely tell the guy you think gave it to you, if for no other reason, but so he knows and hopefully is responsible enough to disclose it in the future. Your friendship won't be "hey you gave me herpes" you might even be better friends afterwards. As for who you tell, only you can decide for yourself. The reality is the more people you tell, the more you can expect will know and if you are ok with that then you will be fine, if you are not ok with that idea, then I wouldn't share at time, you will get to the point where you are ok with this fact (if you aren't already). The reality is your life is not going to end and with time it will weigh less and less on your heart and you will realize it is really not that big of a deal. As for at home remedies, I agree and do like Tea Tree oil as it is a natural anti-viral and anti-bacterial, but mostly it relieves some of the pain associated with open sores. However, like I said, I have been on daily suppressive therapy, which has been the best remedy so far. My advice is to be strong, don't look down on yourself, regardless of how you feel now, this is really not that major! And certainly don't think somebody will never love you because if they define you by having herpes, they really weren't worth having and you will find someone better!!

Yeah, after the conversation I needed something, someone who gets it. I needed to know this is not actually my problem and it was he neurotic. I found this forum and have been rejuvenated. It is hard when you think no one gets it. I needed to read this forum. I now know even more than I did, which after finding out 5 years ago I obsessed over researching herpes. I feel like even when you get facts they have a negative connotation out there. I find the fact sheets provided here to be very enlightening, legitimate, and reassuring that this isn't as big as I once thought it was. I feel like there is a lot of bad information out there, which is too easy to come across. Ultimately, his decision was about him and for me, finding out that someone quantifies your value to them through your vagina sucks. I am really happy I hadn't slept with him and actually being open and vulnerable with him proved to be a miscalculation, but not a regret.

Rejection sucks and hurts, but really puts things in perspective! I had been seeing this guy for about a month and everything was great! We hadn't had sex and unlike my contraction of the virus, I was going to give him the option of knowing all the facts. So,this past Thursday he called and advised me that he had once be diagnosed with the HPV strand that causes warts and asked me how I felt about it. I responded with acceptance, to which he asked me to not treat him with paranoia as his past girlfriend had because it made him feel really awful, to which I advised him I would never. So, I thought well if we are having the STD talk I'm going to lay my cards on the table too as it weighs heavy on my heart until I I feel comfortable enough with the person to disclose. I could tell this took him off guard, but he said that he would like to take this slow and really get to know each other and make sure he loved me before we could make love, which honestly sounds/sounded nice. This made my heart skip a beat, it felt good to have him know everything and think I was worth the continued investment. Well last night before even done with work he called and said that he had been thinking about it all day and with his anxiety disorder he could never have sex with me as he would always be paranoid and scarred I would give him herpes. He also said he didn't know how I could ever get pregnant and give birth to a baby and while I was great he knew that he would never be able to get over it and it was easier to end it now than 3months down the road. Ouch!! I now realize, that even though I don't find having herpes to be world ending in my life, I didn't come across that way when I told him. I came across as treating the virus like this horrible secret that I was so embarrassed about and how I hated it so much. How could I expect someone to be ok with it when I clearly wasn't? I was self deprecating :( Not that I think it would have changed his reaction, but I now know I need a more positive approach.