[Traumatized, Anxious and Depressed]

I mustered all my energy last evening to get out and meet friends, at urging of sibling that knows how I am feeling, to try to Cheer up. 

The convo somehow turned to STI and I had to sit there and watch 5 people sneer in disgust and horror at the thought of their teenager kids  getting an STD. Words like “gross” and “eww” and “ugh” being tossed around. 
 

as I sat there feeling the lingering pain of my second outbreak, I didnt say anything and just excused myself to the bathroom and left not long after. 

 I  would never physically harm myself bc of my kids- i am all they have-but the reality is I am dead on the inside. 

i am just grateful I am older when I got this so I wont have to live as long with this horror 
 

 

[Traumatized, Anxious and Depressed]

Trying my best to hold on. Feels impossible. Thank god I have my kids to keep my here and grounded. 
its been 5 mo since dx and it feels like it is getting worse mentally .

thanks again for kind words of encouragement 

[Traumatized, Anxious and Depressed]

Thank you for your kind words. 
While realizing feelings aren’t facts, they still make up my reality. This just feels unbearable to live with. 
 

[Traumatized, Anxious and Depressed]

I need help. Please. F, 51 NYC area, I don’t care re gender or age of buddy. 

Dx 5 months ago - contracted from one encounter from the first man I have been with since marriage ended. 

I was so excited for my new life… and now… I have never been lower in my entire life. 

I am terrified of my own body. Disgusted by myself. I am anxious to begin with … now every twinge below my waist makes me wonder if I am going to have an outbreak or if I am contagious/shedding. The uncertainty is unbearable. I feel like a walking biohazard .

My gynecologist tells me its not a big deal…I feel like the mental trauma and emotional damage is barely addressed by the doctors .

My life feels over. The woman I was before dx is gone. All that is left is a shell of a person.