[My past, My present, My future]

@mr_hopp Thank you for the kind words. I feel like my theme song should be "Here I go again" I believe its White Snake. But I know its "Hello, my name is" by Matthew West. I need never forget that there is a God who loves me and has a bigger plan for me. Right now He's not reveling it to me and I'm not getting any younger. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.  I realize it's what I have, not who I am. It's helping those that I'm with understand it and I'm not very good at vocalizing my feelings but I'm great at avoiding those conversations which is not healthy either. At this point in my life, as much as I would enjoy a new relationship, I really need to focus on myself. Take of me for a change. 

[Confused about HSV1 genital]

sounds like terrible advice with no explanation. Geez, Id be confused too. Maybe search for another doctor who can really help you. I hope someone else chimes in. 

[Disclosure went badly]

I agree with you Jojo21. I was diagnosed 35years ago and the disclosure was a huge dilemma for me.. to tell, or not to tell. And the last thing we need as H cases is stress. Up to this point, I couldn't tell you when my last outbreak was. Up to recently I've been married for 22 years, had two children and all were safe. Just recently I divorced and recently met a new man. (there's been a huge hole in my marriage for to many years). The stress of the short divorce, reorganizing, moving in a coworker and dealing with the California weather brought on an outbreak. My long story short, I had to then, in all fairness inform my new friend of my problem. So far he seems ok but it still hurts my heart to know that this could end and I guess I'm setting myself up for that so it wont hurt so bad. Anyway, the whole disclosure thing I guess is an individual decision. I agree, it is the right thing to do, but short of taking up a billboard on the highway, I think we need to be careful with who are with and who we disclose to... People like to gossip. Hang in there. Don't loose hope.

[My past, My present, My future]

Thank you for the encouraging words. Yes, I do feel things have gotten a bit awkward and I dont know how to talk with him about it. My conversation skills have always been weak. It's amazing how I can bs my way through some conversations, but Im having a hard time with this particular topic.  I need to start viewing the videos on this topic. There is so much more to my story, but I also have a hard time putting my thoughts into words, so my posts will seem a bit scattered to say the least. I'm so glad I found this site. I wish I would have searched for it earlier.  Have a wonderful Wednesday. 

[My past, My present, My future]

I contracted herpes in my early 20s. (I really dont know how to start this). I've been in and out of relationships since. Some long term with those that were willing to take that extra "risk". Most where heart breaking because of my "issue". I have two wonderful adult children. Those were the two that were at the most risk. I just recently divorced after 22 years and all that time, and all the stress he put me through, I never had an outbreak. It was amazing! I recently started dating this incredible man! 6 months now. (I'll spare you all those details). California has seen the worse weather ever this year. We got so much rain and snow that it was hard to keep up on the damage control. My anxiety and stress levels were pushing the limit. I like to think of myself as "unflappable". Anyway, through all the changes of the divorce, getting a new roommate/coworker and my youngest daughter springing some crazy ideas my way I had an outbreak. Because it's been so long since my last one, I went to my doctor to have it confirmed. She put me on AntiVirals and it cleared up fairly quickly. Now for my future. Part of me wonders if I should have stayed married to my narcissistic/ alcoholic husband because at this point I'm not sure if forever single is for me (at least thats how it felt at that moment of conformation). In all fairness to my new friend I had to say something. In the past I've had multiple reactions. The worse one is rejection. They back away like you have the plague. Some back away gracefully. Still my heart sinks. So, back to my new man. I briefly discussed my problem through tears streaming down my face. He hugged me, but didnt have much to say. We still see each other, but it feels different. Like now it's an awkward struggle to be ourselves again. He still includes "us" and "we" when he takes about things he'd like us to do in the near future, but part of me braces for the impact when he decides that I'm not safe...does this all make sense? I feel like I'm now just rambling. getting hard to type this through the tears and sadness. Kind of pathetic, right? So glad I found this site. I always wondered if there was a support group out there. Having Herpes sure makes you feel so alone, but life presses on and I need to do make the best of it. Thank you..