Dolly

Thanks @WCSDancer2010! I've gained a wingman and magnifying glass all at once! I'm definitely gonna be more patient and move more slowly as far as physical stuff with my next relationship. Though I was getting to a point in my life where I wanted a relationship, I rushed with this person. Now I have internal brakes. Also, I love working out but my diet could be better, and I'm guessing the h will tell me when I'm not eating right or when I'm stressing too much. You're so right @victoriaxxx. Thanks for the feedback! I don't want to overanalyze!!! This is a major "learning opportunity" for me. Just gotta go one day at a time (for whoever comes into my life next) :) Nice to meet you guys :)

So glad you wrote this! I was in the middle of waaaaay over analyzing something and getting myself all upset. You're so right! Why sit there stressing about what hasn't happened yet (and may not happen)? And even if that bad thing does happen, we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Thanks for posting, and GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! :) :) :)

LOL Herry. Thanks! Good to know I'm not alone in that... Maybe this will be an exercise in self-forgiveness. Thanks, Klopz! It's definitely a roller coaster. That's a good way of looking at it... if it doesn't work out, then I'll feel free to be by myself and figure it out. The guy was really sweet, but I wonder if that was because I was in the room with him and he was in shock. I'm not sure that he'll want to see me anymore, but either way, I'll be fine (maybe sad first) because my own love/acceptance is the most important thing :) I'm SO glad that this site exists. It's nice to meet you both!

Hi Herry! Thanks for writing!!! It definitely does make me mad about how it spreads even with protection!!! And thanks for writing your story - I just read it and I can definitely relate to how you felt with her. LOL to the China patterns! Hahaha definitely none of that!!! Thanks for reminding me about one day at a time. I sometimes tend to feel overly responsible for things (oldest child, type A, recovering perfectionist) and I have to remember to just see how things go. I won't cut off all contact (if he still wants to get to know me). But life is short and I don't want to stress, so I'll just see how I feel each day. Again, thank you!!!

Hello All. Thanks for posting all your stories! I've been lurking for 24 hours and it's helped tremendously. :) Just got diagnosed 2 days ago after having symptoms the day or 2 before that. I've been running through all the same things most people do. One minute I'm in complete despair, the next, I'm telling myself that I'm not gonna let society tell me how to feel about myself. My rational side says that it's a great reason to eat cleaner, manage stress, and weed out unserious partners. The other side feels so... gross. Like I will never be with anyone again. And irresponsible - even though this could happen to anyone anytime they have sex! I'm frustrated that we used condoms and this still happened. I haven't gotten results back yet to find out if it's Type 1 or 2. I'm trying to think... how would I feel about it if it did not have the "h" label? What if the way people described it was "I get cold sores on my vag from time to time"? Seems less death-sentency, right? I've been seeing the guy for a lil over a week. I guess it's likely I received it the first time we slept together (after our first real date... I know, just. couldn't. wait.). I'm not mad at him. At this point, what can I do? It's not that "he gave it to me," it's that "I have it." I really don't think he knew. And when i told him, he was floored, asked a lot of questions and was completely apologetic if it was him. I think he almost took it worse than me that he could be a carrier. He was upset that his last std test would likely not have included this. I tried to keep it matter of fact, but I told him the day I found out, so I was crying. He was feeling so badly. I said I could never be sure if he gave it to me or if it was dormant in me from a previous person, but he mentioned that the timing pointed to him giving it to me. I also said that if he tests negative (he's getting tested soon), then I would understand if he didn't want to continue seeing me. He hugged me and said "Awwww, it's not that bad!" to make me feel better, but we didn't discuss if we would keep seeing each other. I'm also wondering what to do now... we weren't in a relationship. We were dating - for a VERY short amount of time. He seemed like a great guy from the several times we hung out, but I'm not deluded enough to think I can gauge long-term compatibility that quickly. So I'm wondering if i should take time to be by myself and deal with all the craziness in my head (from "I'm a pariah" to "This is a mild, first-world problem"). We haven't discussed whether we'll keep dating, but I'd like to decide exactly what I want, regardless of his plans. I keep wavering back and forth. I'm usually the one who says "me time" is a good idea. But if I stop seeing him, is that just making h a bigger deal than it is? "Hold on, nice guy with possible relationship potential, lemme go slink into my cave of undesirability for a while because I have this new skin condition... that you probably have, too." Anyone been in this situation? (At neither end of the one-night stand/relationship spectrum) P.S. This was written in one of my "it's not that bad" states. Although I am *determined* to be happy, I'm sure I'll be crying on my couch several more times today :) Sorry this turned into such a novel...