YoungAndReceptive

Hi all So I had hsv1 for almost a year now. I've had my initial outbreak and that's it. I've definitely had my scares where I've taken valtrex just to try to prevent an OB but it probably was in my head and I was most likely just being extra careful . It's probbly been a week since I've shaved and I shaved today with a rather old blade and when I got out of the shower I noticed a red bump where I very well may of had a herpes sore during my initial ob, but I can't remember. However this bump does not hurt at all. I feel fine. I may have been a little itchy the past few days but nothing unbearable. Just an uncomfortable itch here and there that would pass after a scratch and Id forget about. Does this sound like it could be my second ob?

I was watching CBS This Morning and there was a segment about mental illness and its negative stigma. They said 1 in 4 people will suffer from mental illness at some point in their life. I couldn't help but be selfish and relate these facts back to me having herpes. I wrote a letter to CBS and told them they should do a segment on STDs, specifically HSV 1 and 2, because almost the whole population already carries a form of the virus, and yet there is still a negative stigma. I feel like getting some positive light in the media might be ground breaking for us and hopefully could be a start to changing the stigma. I have convinced myself if they get enough requests they may actually do a story on what herpes is really like, and replace the lies and stigma about the virus. If anyone else has the time and wants to attempt to put herpes on a positive platform give it a try ! :D

I saw someone made a post about disclosing to a person through a letter. I like that idea because you have everything written down and you can spend as much time as you want preparing and thinking of what you want to say an how you say it. I get nervous and anxiety and feel that if I disclose in person I may not get important points out or make them clear because I forgot and can't think straight. I'm seeing a guy I don't think he'll ever be my boyfriend but I do like him. I have been putting off oral and sex for a long time telling him I'm not ready and that I only want to move that far with a boyfriend. I am definitely ready to move onto the next level with him but I'm not so sure if I'm ready to disclose. I've never disclosed before. If we are still doing this a month from now I definitely want to disclose. Does anyone think typing up a letter, and being there when he reads it or reading it to him, is a successful route? I personally feel like I can get my main points out and when he's done reading we can have a discussion about it. And then after our discussion I take my papers back just in case the worst case scenario happens. Does that sound reasonable? Has anyone done something like this?

21

Thanks dancer. Hugs ! But I'm having a freak out now . We ended up fooling around again the next day too . I haven't had any sexual contact since I contracted the virus back in March, and it's embarresing to say that I was sore that next day but still let him do it again . And I even noticed marks on my sheets which could have been a tiny bit of blood. & now I feel itchy and am scared I am about to have an OB . I'm not sure if it's my head, I'm hoping it is, but I feel that the sexual contact triggered an OB. If I am about to have an OB is it 100% that I probably gave him H if he didn't have it already ? I'm freaking out that I passed it to him. I'm obviously not ready for this type of relationship yet and need to be comfortable disclosing my information before I get to any kind of physical level.

So this guy I have been seeing lately and I have had many talks about our sex life. I told him I am not willing to have sex until I am in a committed relationship. I did not tell him I have genital HSV1. So we have been sticking to making out and touching over the pants. We finally made the step to go into each others pants to play. No oral sex just touching. Was it wrong to let him finger me without disclosing my status? I thought hands would be the only appropriate thing to do without disclosing, but I am now wondering if that was wrong of me and I should not have let him.

I almost posted a discussion of the same topic a few days ago lol. So ironic. I've only had herpes since March, but I feel I have always had some type of anxiety. I have not disclosed to a partner yet and ever since I started seeing the guy who I am currently seeing I have had horrible anxiety where one day 3 weeks ago I had to call my mom just to talk to me because I was having an anxiety attack and I felt like I wanted to go to the hospital. That day was my wake up call that I can't keep trying to get through this myself and I need professional help to healthily deal with this transition. So I found a psychologist and I went last week for the first time and I felt great after talking about all my feelings. She diagnosed me with anxiety, and like herpes it is very common. If you are feeling anxious I definitely recommend looking for therapy to help you 1. with your anxiety and 2. coming to peace with herpes. I personally think the link between herpes and anxiety is the person isn't comfortable or has not come to peace with the fact he/she has herpes. That's my opinion through my journey so far.

I don't have oral only genital. And I agree, I don't want to catch anything more than I have already, I think we can all agree that we would prefer to not have to worry about disclosing more private information than we have to . That's what is holding me back from taking that step. I want to take the step, but know it's in my best interest not to. I was just curious as to how many people actually go ahead and have oral anyway or if they wait until they're open with their partner.

Before disclosing to your partner or future partner, does anyone have oral sex first? I have genital HSV1 and I've been seeing this guy for a while. I am by no means ready to disclose to him because I only want to disclose when I am in a committed relationship or going to be in one. But I do want to spice things up a bit more, and I know I should not allow him to perform oral sex because he would be at risk and I never disclosed. However, I would do it for him. The only thing that is stopping me is that I don't want to orally contract something else if he had something. I was just wondering how many people actually go about oral sex without disclosing.

Hey guys, I have genital HSV1 and I've handled my diagnosis pretty well and all, I think I'm just going through a rough time now. I'm 22 and I just want to be open about having it, but I'm afraid my peers will make it difficult for me to feel accepted if I were to come clean at a young age. I feel like I see H for what it is because I have it. I don't think everyone else will see it that way and then people will start talking about me for having it and then I'll be avoided by all men. Does anyone else feel that way? It's not like I want to make a huge announcement, but if people were talking bad about it I wanna just come clean and say I have it. Also, since I contracted the virus I am very stand offish with men and I won't get physical with a man. I fear that if I put myself in a situation of hooking up I'll have to share my secret and I feel like most people would have a negative response. I WANT to tell, but I'm afraid it will be the talk of the town. And dating today is so hard because most men won't bring it to the next level of a relationship if he didn't have sex with the girl yet. I know not everyone's like that but a lot are. I just got kicked to the curb by a guy who wanted to be in a relationship with me, but I was making him go super slow. A few weeks later he was in a relationship with the girl he was actually having sex with. I was his emotional outlet, she was his physical, and the physical comes before the emotion mostly. If I were open about it he'd know why I was moving so slow, and I wouldn't have to seem like such a prude, innocent goody two-shoes. I hate living in a time where guys want sex before a relationship. Also my non positive family who 100% support and are accepting of me me tell me, you can't tell or he'll run. You have to wait until you have a boyfriend and he actually loves you. If he's not your boyfriend he'll run and tell everyone. So that's what stops me. Those closest to me telling me that. I have it and it doesn't seem like a big deal, but my family doesn't have it and that's how they see H positive people.

Thanks so much Adrial and Dancer! Thanks for your advice guys <3

Hey guys, I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 3.5 months ago. I never thought I'd be so into a person so soon after that I'd think I would want to disclose so soon. I know how to go about disclosing, be strong and confident, if I know what I'm talking about it's not a big deal, and educate if he doesn't know. We went out with friends drinking and made out drunk, we haven't been the same since. Slowly we started talking more. People started seeing something develop with us, and even asked if something was going on between us. When I told him someone asked me he said he was ok with that and didn't care if people knew. However he hasn't taken me out on a real date yet. I see him all the time at work but, we're 22 years old. But date nights are limited. We are watching a tv show and make plans to hang out and watch after work. We have done that once and there are more to come. Now, I know it's not time to tell him yet, but I also was not born last night, I know late night TV means other things should happen. Last time all we did was cuddle and a peck goodbye. Nice and slow, which was perfect. If he tries to go too fast I will tell him I want to go slow. But for how long can I really pull that charade? How do i put sex off before a relationship? Part of me feels that he might feel like I tried to trap him into a relationship if I try to wait until we are boyfriend and girlfriend. Do you think its important to be in a relationship before disclosing? Is there a standard of how many dates a guy should at least take you on before disclosing? I know these are dumb questions, but I fear that I am getting excited about this guy and since I want to be in a relationship with him that I will disclose too soon. The last thing I need is for him to reject it. I don't think he would do that, he's so good to me that's why I like him, but you never know what a person will do. I read somewhere 3 months is a good time to wait to disclose so you don't get too attached it they aren't accepting. I have liked him for 3 months already, so if I wait another 3 months and he isn't accepting that will be devastating for me. I don't know what to do or think or how to proceed with what we are doing so we can advance to another level.

Hi all. I have a quick question - I have genital HSV1 and I'm not sure if I'm about to have an outbreak. I don't feel normal. I wouldn't say it's that tingling feeling but I can't explain it, I just don't feel right. When I was diagnosed, my dr gave me valtrex to take for when I feel an OB coming on. I'm not sure if this will be an OB or not but are there any consequences of taking the valtrex if it's not an OB?

The tears are flooding out non stop. Thank you for posting this!

I agree with you 100%. I think my lips were just chapped and I had some type of placebo effect and convinced myself that I was feeling the tingle of the prodrome. Ever since I read dancer's response my tingle has disappeared...How is the mind that powerful! It's annoying lol. Thanks for helping!