We had sex one time before I got tested. It is possible that he gave it to me, but its also possible I gave it to him. I'm afraid whether his results are negative or positive. Positive, I'm to blame. Negative, he may not want to risk it like you said. He hasn't left yet and doesn't seem like that's what's going th through his head. It's so hard to talk to him about this, and I can't talk to anyone else. He's so supportive, but I can't fathom dealing with him leaving me for this. I will be heartbroken and disappointed in myself. I can't see an end to this, if not him, ill have to go through telling another man, and possibly getting rejected again. I can't get this out of my head. I cant deal with being undesirable on this level. So many emotions. Sad, scared, anxious, disappointed, helpless, hopeless, alone. I know I'm not the only one, but why is it so terrible if so many people have it? Why is it such a big deal if such a large percentage of people have it? I don't understand why people with herpes are made to feel so undesirable. This is forever, I can't believe ill be treated like this for the rest of my life. So sad.