jordenellisson
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Posts posted by jordenellisson
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Wow I'm in shock how much we can all learn from eachother in ways of communication not just herpes but life in veneral . so many beautiful loving things said by all. This was I wanted loving insight constructive criticism advice fro. A loving place and most of all the understanding of where a person that who has stupidly put themselves in my position is coming from and the understanding that what I'm looking for is a gentle nudge and encouragement to do the right thing. I'm feeling a lot of love here thank u all for addressing me and giving non judgemental comments. I am more then thankful that this perhaps misunderstanding on all our parts brought about this discussion. I think it could really help a lot more people then just myself. Seeker u seem like a hard ass but I somehow can't be angry at u. U u r stern but I think ur southern up bringing may b the cause and u r hilarious even if u think I'm a twat. Flnew I've thought about your udder rage and came to the conclusion that hey this woman has just been diagnosed is utterly devastated and just can't fathom doing what I am as u just have not been down the road I have yet. Dancer u r amazing I feel your thinking is very in alighn with mine when it cones to showing people the right path through love and understanding. Hard for me to say everything I want with a baby hsngin on me but just wanted to state I never once thought I'm doing right or want support for not disclosing I just feel scarf and trapped and that is all. Thanks to all who have gave me support and will in the future. I'm also very good for support if anyone would value me for it. Ive got 15 long hard years in this so I know a thing or two. Flnew I'm sorry we had harsh words and I hope ur emotional state and what sounds line horrid outbreak r on the mend
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Way to make new commers feel welcome btw..
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Why is it dancer is the only one that gets it. I never said support me not disclosing. I wanted support cause I'm scars to disclose. Show me how help me! Don't tell me how awful ud feel for not disclosing or how wrong u think it is or how I must be a narsististic..wtf how is this not judgmental why is dancer the only one with compassion and insight...I pretty much feel bullied and will probably b leaving this forum to struggle once again alone. Hey dancer u were bang on right about everything...wow feel like u got a crystal ball up here in Canada...
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I didn't tell u to fuck off another girl did earlier today I just pointed it out to make a point that u come across very judgemental
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Nicely said wcsdancer! U see a lot and have a very good perspective...I don't feel judged by uvone bit and u have given me some hope and encouragement thank u thank u thank u
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Oh and here at h we believe in support and disclosing when its our right time..wow get a clue
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Oh and no I didn't come here for options that r judgmental. I am not on the wrong forum thank you. Others here r struggling with disclosing and speaking with those people is healing or hearing positive disclosure story's is helpful to. U clearly don't know how to treat people very nice
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Number one I was actually speaking to the girl who said its wrong to take someone's choice. Anyway u never got told to fuck off today for not being judgmental. I knew u would not c it that way...so as requested please don't respond to my posts. U shame others with your opinions. If u can't offer support or give comments from a loving place when your morals don't align don't comment
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Such a yucky feeling Ann I know...I have an outbreak and I have to lie for two weeks about w I can't get with my husband...how lame do I feel. Please don't cry ann.
.I have bad advice I could give of ways to get out of sex..but I doubt this would help u or make anything better
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Lol amn no your not u r just very unluckey poor u
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Ann122 I posted back to u but don't know where my comment went..did I inbox u?
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Your not selfish its terrifying. Such a totally personal and scary discussion to have with your lover...girl I feel for u. If its any comfort at all I was once with a man for twelve years took me six to tell him. It didn't change a thing between us. He also never contracted it from me. If u are aware of symptoms before and during an outbreak it way lessons his chance of catching it. Yes there is shedding but I gave never passed it on this way And ive had it for 15 years
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Trying... yes they kept it quiet
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As much as I don't want to point out your judgmental ways as I'm not entirely convinced it will make a bit of difference to u I will..you say I don't understand how u knowingly have it and not tell
You say I would never knowingly put someone at risk
You say I would b guilt ridden it would tear me up
You say apparently many people can go through life just fine not disclosing
In essence u r implying people who don't disclose don't experience these feelings. Then the icing on the cake u say we people who don't disclose pass through life just fine!
Girl that is the definition of being judgmental.
Did it not occur to u how awful my lie of a life has been for four years. How awful it is to have a child and go through the worry if my baby being in possible harms way without the support of my partner just my dr....if it was so easy for me to disclose I would. I'm not there yet. I here for support and I am here cause I really respect and honor what aderial has created here. Which brings me toy next point u should really scroll up and read what he wrote here. Maybe it will give u a more open minded perspective.
All I want is support and I feel like I've just been diagnosed all over again as your comment brought me loads of anger and shame
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I was wondering the same thing
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Wow no judgment hey pk miss perfect. Anyway I'm not here for people Luke u. So please don't respond to anything I post. Of course I'm defensive when I'm being judged. I'm here for support period
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Seeker had a baby was not put on antivirals as outbreak was not a concern the stuff in eyes was for herpes the Dr told me so :)
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I'm from Canada here we believe you r responsible to protect yourself. In 15 years I have never passed it to anyone I think that speaks to my care and responsibility there. Please don't speak to me about what is right. I'm not here for judgement
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Of course I told my Dr. Icould care a less what they think my son is worth more then my embarrassment there
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FlNewH I've had this for 15 years the first disclosure was horrific he accepted it for a month then called me dirty and every other mean thing he could think of. The second man it took me six years to disclose and u only disclosed after he told me he had genital warts we then stayed together for 6 more years 12 on total. However we broke up for other reasons to this day he is still not afraid to have unprotected sex with me he said I was worth the risk. However I have been with my new man and father of my child for four years he is not an understanding gentle man..quite the opposite so I find this difficult to open up. As for your preg question as u r newly diagnosed I think u may believe herpes is a bigger deal then it is the Dr barley blinks am eye when u tell them and they just put some stuff in the baby's eyes when its born nothing is mentioned to anyone as in Canada all your medical info is confidential
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I to cannot disclose one time I did turned out horrible another time I did was fine was with him for 12 years and he never got it from me. But now I'm with another person. The father of my child been with him for four years and I'm terrified of disclosing. I have never passed it onto anyone and am very careful so maybe I'm in denial....however disclosure sounds so horrific to me I've only done it twice...I to feel like an awful person
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It never returned damn u auto correct lol
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I went through that did gave cancer from the HPV however I had it all lasered off and it never retired the virus clears your body within a couple of years. HPV has nothing on hsv I don't even think about it anymore.
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The first time I disclosed to someone was about four months after I was diagnosed. I was 17 and terrified but knew it was the right thing to do. I had started seeing this guy. So the day came when I had to tell him as he wanted to be intimate. I told him full of tears. He accepted it and we used condoms about a month passed and he finally looked at me full of anger and told me how dirty I was and every time we did it he could not get it out of his head what dirt ball guys o mustvof been with. I got out of his bed hiluated and crushed. I went home cried my heart out and never spoke to him again. A few months later I met my absolute soulmate
But after what had happened I could never tell him and risk that humiliation and devistation again...so six years pass of me sleeping with him feeling huilty and not disclosing. One day he told me he hax genital warts. What? Omg it was my chance to disclose I did and he told me it didn't matter to him at one point he told me I was worth the risk. We dated for six more years 12 in total and he never got h from me. We did break up for other reasons but even years after the break up he was still willing and unafraid to sleep unprotected with me. However I'm now with a new man..four years we have a one year old son and iv never told my bf. I feel awful but can't bring myself to do it as we fight often and he always says the most hurtful things..I feel terrible but that is my reality. I am not telling this so someone can tell me how wrong I am I'm sharing so others in my situation know they r not alone.
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I can't disclose... i simply can't.
in General herpes discussion
Posted
I'm glad I came back I really feeling like this is just where I need to be...again flnew I'm sorry your going through a new diagnosis I was thinking about u all weekend I remember those awful emotions and not knowing what to expect...hope we can offer each other support not nasty useless comments. Much love and respect to all