Hi,
I'm a 22 year old female, and 3 months ago I got HSV. First of all, thank goodness I stumbled across this support forum, and THANK YOU Adrial.
So, I know who gave it to me, all the signs are pointing to this dude.
Initially it didn't bother me because he said he was sorry and "didn't know". I actually felt bad for him, and thought we could deal with it together; (regrettably) I was compassionate, understanding, and acted exactly how I would want to be treated in such a scenario.
Now, some of you may think I deserve this, or was asking for it, but I knew from the beginning he had a girlfriend of 8 months. They were "on a break", and I chose to believe him when he said he wanted to leave her for me, but deep down I knew better than that. Where was my self respect? Some pathetic part of me was grasping to the impossible notion that he would actually leave this girl for me…
2 months later, things could not be more opposite. Of course, none of his promises happened. I'm left with nothing but this disease to deal with alone, and I have more anger than I know what to do with. He led me on, and used me; worse part is I allowed that to happen. I'm fairly certain that in retrospect, he DID know (as he showed symptoms) and just didn't get tested because he's a cheap bastard and it's an excuse not to disclose. Whether this is true or not, every fiber of my being wants to go knock on her door, and tell her what a shady piece of shit this dude is. I'm positive she doesn't know about me.
So, do I take the high road and leave them in peace? Or do I ruin his life, just like he did mine? I can tell I'm so pissed that I'm not able to see the bigger picture here, my judgement is clouded :(. I don't want to do something crazy, but I also have been known to put others needs before my own and become a doormat. What I want most is advice so that I don't do something I regret, because I can't seem to figure out what's right or wrong anymore. I feel like my happiness and future has been stollen from me, why does he still get to have his? I've only had one boyfriend ever, and don't seem to "click" with many people. Any hope that I had in finding someone has vanished, and I've never felt so lonely. He's the only person I have told, and that obviously went south. It just doesn't seem fair he can go through life infecting women, with no repercussion. Where is the justice?
For those who are curious, not that it really matters, but this guy is 31, his girlfriend is my age, his favorite activity is dealing drugs at the local strip club (he's unemployed, obviously), and still has my PS2 I let him borrow. He's also been to prison and has several kids he doesn't care for or know. Yup, I really know how to pick em, huh?
I appreciate any advice and am grateful for anything ya'll got to offer. Lay it on me.
Thank you!