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mr_hopp last won the day on March 17
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Disclosure after sex. Seeking Advice
mr_hopp replied to herpaderp123's topic in The herpes talk: disclosing
Yeah, I agree with @AlliKat12: Dr. Google is a terrifying place to do herpes research. That's actually why I consolidated all the facts into the handouts. You might even consider sending her the disclosure handout itself since it really puts the true risk into perspective, which is actually quite small, considering the stigma that tends to blow this all way out of proportion — and no chastity belt needed. 😉 Download the handouts for free here with the ebook: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook -
Constant outbreaks of HSV2 and trying to date again 😭 HELP!
mr_hopp replied to OB123's topic in The herpes talk: disclosing
A big congrats for being vulnerable and courageous. This sets the stage for an honest and trusting relationship. Bravo! -
Constant outbreaks of HSV2 and trying to date again 😭 HELP!
mr_hopp replied to OB123's topic in The herpes talk: disclosing
My pleasure! You totally got this. Let your vulnerability be your strength. Let your honesty be your power. Let us know how it goes! You have already read the disclosure ebook and the facts handouts, right? They are free and you can download them here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook -
mr_hopp started following BD111 Chinese Human Trials Phase 3 information , Share your story for a GoodRx article? , Disclosure after sex. Seeking Advice and 7 others
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Here is what Deb sent me to post on her behalf: ”My name is Deb Hipp and I'm writing a story for GoodRx about what it's like to have genital herpes, how you felt when you got the diagnosis and how you felt as time went on. I'll write your story with sensitivity and respect. You would need to use your full name, but you can help destigmatize genital herpes.People recently diagnosed or who've had herpes for a while will come across the article and find support. If you would like to be a source for the article, please email me at [email protected]. I need to find a source within the next week or so. Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you!”
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Disclosure after sex. Seeking Advice
mr_hopp replied to herpaderp123's topic in The herpes talk: disclosing
Hey @herpaderp123, That's a heavy situation you've shared, and it's brave of you to open up about it here. First off, kudos for recognizing the importance of honesty, even when it's tough. Sharing your HSV2 status is about respecting your partner's right to make informed decisions about their health. It's a tough call but coming clean might ease that weight you're carrying. Telling her sooner rather than later is the way to go. You can explain that you've been taking antivirals and thought you were managing the risk but then noticed something that made you worry. Your plan to be honest about the situation sounds like the best approach. It respects her and allows her to take any necessary steps. Legal worries are understandable, but focusing on doing the right thing here is crucial. Honesty can lead to healing, learning, and, hopefully, forgiveness over time, especially you forgiving yourself and taking this as a powerful learning experience. Next time you're in a similar situation, you'll see the value in speaking to the moment. (And the "feeling like shit" part shows you that your conscience is alive and well; it shows up as guilt after something like this, but is teaching you to follow it more clearly in the future.) You're not alone in navigating these murky waters. Many have faced similar dilemmas and found a path forward through openness and compassion. Remember, this moment doesn't define you. It's about how you handle it moving forward ... -
@Gabe789 — Hearing your story really moved me. It's clear you're navigating through incredibly tough times, and your honesty here is both brave and touching. I remember when I first shared my diagnosis. The first person I shared it with was my mom. She passed away a month ago, but that mother's love never goes away! When I disclosed to her, I cried in her lap for hours in her work parking lot. That moment of vulnerability and the unconditional love she showed me reminded me of the strength and support we sometimes forget we have. This love from those who care deeply for you is a powerful beacon during these dark times you find yourself in. It's a reflection of the love you can learn to rebuild within yourself. Holding onto this can be a key step in moving forward, finding peace, and healing. You're not alone, and it's okay to seek help and lean on those who offer their support. Your journey isn't defined by a single aspect of your life ... in fact, we grow and evolve most in the darkest times. (My poet friend said it so eloquently: "The darker the dark room, the more colorful and vibrant the photos.") With time, support and a positive perspective, brighter days are ahead. One day, you will look back at this journey and be proud that you made it.
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Hey @laketodo It's a tough spot, feeling guilty and unsure. From what you've shared, it sounds like you're really wrestling with the "when and how" of disclosure, especially in these early, non-sexual encounters. @AlliKat12 and @Farishta brought up some solid points. Being honest and transparent, when you feel there's a real chance of getting closer, respects both your integrity and their right to make informed decisions. It's all about finding the right moment that feels true to you, without overwhelming the budding connection with undue worry. When to disclose? What I always say: When you trust this person with your vulnerability. If things seem to be heading in a more intimate direction, having that chat is not just brave, it's essential. It's okay to be scared, but remember, how someone reacts says a lot about their character. And that you are someone who discloses at all (even after a misstep) says a lot about yours. You're handling a delicate situation with a lot of thoughtfulness. If you haven't already, download the ebook on disclosure. It also comes with 2 helpful one-page handouts chock-full of the stats: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Also, watching these videos might be helpful:
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All good, negativity is perfectly understandable and totally allowed. 😉 And I totally get it — the stigma around HSV can be incredibly tough, shaping not just how others see us, but how we see ourselves. I went through a suicidal period myself early on. I really did think all was lost. But what I (thankfully) realized is that so much of this can play out as a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you brace for rejection because of HSV, you're setting the stage for it. How you carry yourself, how you disclose, it'll all set you up for a rejection that you already were anticipating and expecting. So it's crucial to shift the narrative within yourself first. Are you "damaged goods" or someone who's responsible, aware, and deserving of respect? This perspective can change the whole disclosure dynamic. Sure, some might still say "no thanks," but often, it's not just about HSV. It's about compatibility. What you're missing in the "it's more important what others think" narrative is that you have a lot of impact on how others see you and how they see herpes. The right person will look past HSV and see you for who you truly are. They will see you as the kind of person who takes responsibility and is honest, vulnerable and courageous. So your mindset and approach in disclosure can make an entire world of difference. Keep faith in yourself and the right connections will follow.
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Hey @AlliKat12, It’s interesting to hear about your experience with the probiotic/prebiotic gummy and the timing of your outbreak. While there's some discussion in the community about various triggers for HSV outbreaks, it's important to remember that everyone's triggers can be quite personal. Gastrointestinal health and its influence on the immune system are complex, and while probiotics are generally beneficial, it's possible that any significant change in your body's balance might prompt an outbreak, especially if your immune system is adjusting to something new. The shaving aspect is also a well-known potential trigger because of the skin irritation. It's totally possible for something that hasn't been a trigger before to become one, as our bodies and the virus evolve over time. Stress, hormonal changes, or even slight shifts in your immune system's status can alter what affects you. Taking Valtrex is a good move to manage the outbreak, and keeping an eye on how your body reacts to new supplements or changes in routine is wise. If you continue to suspect the probiotic/prebiotic might be linked, consider discussing it with your doc or trying a period without to see if there’s a difference. Stay positive, and keep listening to your body! It's all about finding the right balance for you.
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Hey @ashleytiffania, It sounds like you're really taking control of this situation — solid. The tingling you're feeling can be pretty common with HSV, especially around outbreaks or when the virus is active. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll always feel it to this extent, but it's your body's way of signaling what's happening. Regarding your immune system and suppressive therapy concerns, it's true that building a stronger immune response can take some time, especially if you're starting from a place of frequent outbreaks. Three weeks is a good start, but it might take a bit longer to see significant changes (more like 6 months to a year on average). Your approach to diet, sleep, and supplements is spot-on. Suppressive therapy is a tool, not a sentence. Many folks find it helps them manage and then, with their doctor's guidance, they adjust as needed. It's more about giving you control and reducing transmission risk than anything else. It doesn't mean you're locked in forever; it's more about finding the right balance for your body and situation. Keep up the great work on taking care of yourself and maintaining a positive outlook. You've got this, and it's okay to take it one day at a time.
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BD111 Chinese Human Trials Phase 3 information
mr_hopp replied to kdogstew's topic in General herpes discussion
Oh great! What I read said it was still in phase 1/2. Thank you! -
Constant outbreaks of HSV2 and trying to date again 😭 HELP!
mr_hopp replied to OB123's topic in The herpes talk: disclosing
Hey there @OB123, I totally get where you're coming from. First off, it's super courageous to even think about diving back into dating after everything you've been through. It sounds like you're really hitting it off with this new guy, and I'm rooting for you! When it comes to the big talk, honesty is key, but so is timing. Maybe start by sharing how much you value trust and health in a relationship. It can be a simple, straightforward chat about your health, much like discussing any other aspect of your lives together. And remember, the right person will appreciate your honesty and the steps you're taking to manage your health. As for those tougher outbreak times, it sounds like you're already doing a great job with the antivirals and staying informed. Just keep in mind that life's about balance. It's okay to enjoy yourself; just staying mindful of your limits is important. You're not alone in this. So many people navigate this same journey and find ways to make it work for them, finding love and happiness on the other side. Hang in there, and keep focusing on the positive strides you're making. Here are some videos that might help: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-herpes-talk-success https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/rejection-is-a-state-of-mind https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-talk-as-vulnerability-training https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-talk-stigmabusting https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/an-alternative-to-stressing https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/when-do-i-have-the-herpes-talk -
How long does the itching last after HSV2 outbreak
mr_hopp replied to Chelsea514's topic in General herpes discussion
Totally get where you're coming from. @Chelsea514, seems like you've got the sores under control with acyclovir, but that burn and itch are stubborn. And @OB123, it's a bummer that a little fun seemed to kick things back up. It's all about finding what works for you, which can mean tweaking meds and watching out for things like lack of sleep or partying too hard, which can throw you (and your immune system) off. If those pesky symptoms stick around, a quick chat with your doctor might help adjust things. Sharing these experiences is a big help for everyone trying to navigate similar situations. Here's to being able to let your hair down a bit more! -
How long is too long to wait for someone to accept me with herpes?
mr_hopp replied to Farishta's topic in My herpes story
Hey @Farishta, It's really brave of you to share your story here. The situation you're in is tough, no doubt. It's clear you've got a lot of love for this guy, and it's heartwarming he's been supportive in so many ways. But it sounds like there's a big "but" when it comes to fully embracing the relationship because of what amounts to a simple, stigmatized skin condition. @chapstick1520 is right about the irony of him having HSV1 and the stigma around HSV2—it's all herpes at the end of the day! And @DistressedLady — I love your perspective on self-worth. It's so true. Your updates hit hard. It's a raw deal, feeling like you're in limbo over something that's part of you, but certainly not all of you. Making the tough call to not wait indefinitely shows a lot of respect for yourself and your needs. I commend you for that. The silence after your talk must be really tough. But remember, you're not toxic waste—not even close. Don't dig yourself into that hole because of his response (or lack thereof). You're a person who's capable of deep love and deserves the same in return, without reservations. It's okay to feel all those emotions, and it's okay to mourn what could have been. Your experience and strength in handling this are going to be a beacon for someone else in the same boat. And remember, your worth isn't defined by anyone's acceptance or rejection of a part of you. If anything, this step you've taken is claiming your self-worth on a deep level and having clear expectations about what you are looking for in a relationship. Sending you a lot of support and hope. Remember, one day at a time as DistressedLady said. You're not alone in this. -
BD111 Chinese Human Trials Phase 3 information
mr_hopp replied to kdogstew's topic in General herpes discussion
BD111 is a super cool development utilizing CRISPR-Cas9 technology aimed at HSV-1, primarily for treating herpetic stromal keratitis (herpes affecting the eyes). This therapy is still in early clinical trials, not yet at phase 3 (more like around phase 1/2), meaning it's undergoing safety and efficacy evaluations in mice. So yes, the promise of gene editing a cure is significant, but it's definitely still an evolving and new technology that hasn't proven itself out yet in human trials. That will be the giant leap if it can do that, but that's a fair distance away. When I first got herpes many, many years ago, there was just as much promise of a cure right around the corner. So we can certainly have hope, but certainly don't put your life on hold waiting for a cure. I would see a cure as icing on the cake of an already-great life. 🙂