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mr_hopp last won the day on December 8

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  1. Hi Jayce, For what it's worth, your feelings are totally normal (thanks to the herpes stigma out there), but also know that a lot of your thoughts and worries aren't true. You're not dirty. People who love you and truly know you won't judge you. This isn't going to hold you back, it will only take you deeper (into knowing yourself and deeper into connection with others). Don't let your mind run away with all these worst-case scenario imaginings. Be careful with what you choose to believe. Definitely sign up to get the e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook (Signing up here will also get you started receiving the Opportunity email series, which will give you positive reframes to all of the things you're worrying about. This is all about practicing seeing this as a positive in your life as opposed to falling for all the negative storylines there are out there. You're not alone. And you're just as amazing as you've always been.) Here are a few good videos to kickstart your way into Opportunity: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-facts https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-stigma-how-to-become-bulletproof https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-herpes-self-acceptance-process https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-you-are-what-you-think And if you need one-on-one support, consider posting for an H Buddy or getting coaching with me.
  2. You want to still be careful (especially during prodrome symptoms and/or outbreaks), but it's true that he has a lot of protection since he already carries the antibodies (and genital HSV-1 has less of a chance of passing genital-to-genital, even though about 1/2 of new genital herpes are from oral sex — oral-to-genital). It would be like him spreading herpes to himself (called auto-inoculation), which is rare after having herpes for at least a year and the body's immunity has it more under control.
  3. Hey Tweetie, Yes, the fact that both of you have HSV-1 does help protect the spread since antibodies are at the ready to put up a defense. She’ll probably be fine, but you do still need to be careful, though, since it’s still possible to spread oral herpes to the genitals via oral sex, especially so close to recovering from an outbreak. You won’t know for sure unless she actually gets an outbreak on her genitals (since a blood test will still just say she has HSV-1; it won’t tell you where). I usually wait about a week after the scab falls off and new skin is revealed before my wife and I make out or do any hanky panky. Hope this helps!
  4. "The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop much compassion for other people’s suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible." — Francis Weller
  5. Great questions! Here are posts to help differentiate between asymptomatic viral shedding and prodrome symptoms: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-asymptomatic-viral-shedding https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-prodrome-symptoms
  6. I’m so glad you’re treating yourself better, Kacey. Super important and vital to turning this into a positive (and just to say, you not only can have a normal life, but an extraordinary one — herpes won’t stop you from that). First thing first, have you downloaded the free ebook and handouts yet? That’s a great place to start to flip this thing around into being an opportunity for finding deeper love. Download it here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook
  7. Hi, This is one of those questions that’s hard to give a definitive answer to other than “it could be, but it’s unlikely.” A swab would be the only way to know for sure. Did you get a positive swab to find out you got HSV-2 in your throat?
  8. I love wim hof! What an effing character. And he has such a huge heart. And what I would say is just try it out for yourself. See if it works for you. Each person is different and will respond differently to different methods. At the very least it’s a great psychological/meditative practice to take freezing cold showers and stay present (I did that for a while and it really did give me the felt sense of time slowing down in a magical way). And I wonder if a lot of how his students and he have been able to do the incredible feats that they have pulled off we’re mostly due to placebo (especially how they were able to avoid getting sick via simple breathing methods). If you believe without a doubt, then some miraculous things can happen! He does offer a free mini course on his website. Check it out and see if it resonates and feels good. Anything that feels good to your body, mind and soul is ultimately good for you. 🙂
  9. It’s a slow process, but generally it takes 6 months to a year for the body to develop antibodies to the kinds of levels that have a suppressive effect.
  10. Hello! 👋 This is actually quite normal for women to get outbreaks that coincide with their periods. Especially in the first year of contracting herpes. On average, after a year, most folks will build up enough antibodies to naturally suppress the virus even during these physically stressful times. It can be quite frustrating to want to be intimate with your partner only to have an outbreak pop up, but do your best to be playful (and even flirtatious) about it — use it as a time to flex those intimacy muscles in new ways! Actually, here’s a video I made about this very thing: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy
  11. Dang, that's no fun! Sorry you got hit with it all over again. 😕 The good news here is that HSV-2 doesn't prefer hanging out orally (since only 1% of cases of HSV-2 are oral), so subsequent outbreaks will be quite mild and infrequent (and you probably won't get another outbreak in your throat after this one after your body develops antibodies to it). Here's a quick overview of HSV-1 vs. HSV-2: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/hsv-1-hsv-2-the-two-types-of-herpes
  12. Being on or off antivirals doesn't impact antibody production, so it's your call whether you stay on them or not. It sounds like you don't need them at this point. Check out this article for the 2 reasons you should take medication: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-medication There's nothing you can do directly to build up antibodies, but certainly continue maintaining as healthy and stress-free lifestyle as possible helps your immune system to thrive, which is key to not just keeping herpes at bay, but of course living an awesome life to boot. It's a win-win!
  13. That doctor is misinformed. 😕 I'd look for another doctor who can give you a prescription. Do you live in the US? If so, try going to a Planned Parenthood. They know their stuff and are very compassionate. It's important to be on daily suppressive therapy even when you're not having outbreaks if you're having sex since taking medication helps bring down the amount of asymptomatic viral shedding by around 50%.
  14. Thanks so much for sharing this, Graci ... and welcome! 🙂
  15. Yes! Congratulations for having the courage to trust that there is more for you on the other side of a vulnerable conversation. Like LTM said, it gets so much better as you embrace vulnerability as a doorway to deeper connection.
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