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mr_hopp last won the day on June 13

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  1. Hey @hopebegetsus! In my experience, it's best to wait until you know them and they know you (enough to where you feel you can trust them with your vulnerability) — to see each other as flesh-and-blood human beings instead of just a flat avatar on the web. And of course, it's a double-edged sword since getting to know someone more before disclosing is going to make it that much more vulnerable with more skin in the game, but it also has the potential to bring way more connection and realness. And yes, there are a lot of people who have herpes, but only 20% of us are even aware that we have it, so it's a smaller pool than you might think.
  2. No dumb questions, my friend. Was your outbreak weeping/oozing at all? I suppose there's a small chance that a beard trimming might happen to have some of the liquid that's inside of the sore on it, but the chain of events that would need to happen in order for enough virus to be transferred is unlikely. If it wasn't weeping or oozing, then it's very unlikely that enough of the virus would be able to get onto a hair to make the transfer.
  3. It's unlikely to spread herpes (autoinoculate) without an active outbreak. Especially since you have HSV-1 orally, it doesn't prefer being on the genitals as much as it prefers hanging out orally. This is not to say that it's possible to transfer it via oral sex to a partner (50% of new genital herpes cases are HSV-1 from oral sex!), but that's more for direct skin-to-skin contact. To transfer it from your mouth to your genitals with your hand is pretty unlikely since such little virus is shed without an active outbreak.
  4. Hi @GummyBear! That does sound odd ... Hm, normally herpes outbreaks show up in a centralized locations, not over the entire body. Sounds more like how chicken pox behaves to me! (Which coincidentally is in the herpes fam.) If the blister was swabbed correctly, then that method would be the best way to verify whether it's herpes or not. Did your doc think it was a herpes outbreak?
  5. Hey @TaintedLove! Have you checked out our H Buddies thread? That's where to find folks to connect with. Here's that thread for ya:
  6. Hey JosieP and welcome! Check out our disclosure handout here where it breaks down all the transmission and shedding rates: https://herpeslife.com/opportunity/free-ebook-signup.html The numbers relating to passing herpes to a woman applies here whether the person who has herpes is male or female. Let us know if you have any more questions! I know it can be quite a confusing time, so we got your back.
  7. Oh, I feel that heartache, sister. Big hugs to you. Thank you so much for sharing yourself here with us. Amazing job being brave and disclosing even though it was hard. There are just as deep and deeper connections to be had and grieving is a natural part of this process, of letting go. Just remember — don't let your natural and healthy grieving turn sour into self-pity. You did good. And we're all here for you now. You will get back up and love again, I promise.
  8. Got it, thanks for sharing that. Since you're well beyond the 6 months to 1 year window, then your body has already had plenty of time to do its part to also bring down viral shedding/outbreaks.
  9. Hi Sircen and welcome! Daily suppressive therapy meds bring the levels of shedding down on average by around 50%, so in that way, it will lessen the chances that your regular triggers might lead to an outbreak since a full outbreak is an overload of viral shedding. And how long have you had herpes if you don't mind me asking?
  10. Hey Karyn! A good rule of thumb is to wait a week after an outbreak totally heals up to be as safe as possible with a partner who doesn't have herpes. So I would suggest the same for after prodrome symptoms disappear.
  11. Can you post this instead on our buddies thread here? Thanks!
  12. Can you post this instead on our buddies thread here? Thanks!
  13. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." — Albert Einstein
  14. To piggyback off of @Amando's advice, since you're at the year mark, on average most people take 6 months to a year on average for their immune systems to really get the virus under control (there are exceptions to the rule, of course, but it's a good gauge). So know that in addition to whatever meds you're taking, your body is also doing a great job of healing up outbreaks and helping you have less and less outbreaks in the future. There was even a period of time when I wasn't in relationship and wasn't having sex, so I didn't take suppressive or episodic medication and I would just let outbreaks run their course on their own.
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