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mr_hopp last won the day on April 14

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  1. Hey @Melissa! The short answer here is that you don't. The only way to tell if you have it genitally as well is to actually have an outbreak that is swabbable. But even with minor bumps, you can try to get the area swabbed. If the bumps are from herpes, then it should be shedding enough virus that would be detectable even without open sores. (And wow, he needs a new doc who knows the basics!)
  2. Are you male or female? With both condoms and daily suppressive therapy, the average chances of passing genital herpes to a male is 1% per year, to a female is 2.5% per year. Download our free handouts for more details: https://herpeslife.com/opportunity/free-ebook-signup.html?sc=forum
  3. Yep, same dosage in the states, too. The only reason you’d bump up the dosage is for episodic treatment taken when an outbreak first comes on, especially early on (within the first year of getting herpes) before your body has had enough time to develop antibodies to naturally suppress outbreaks (both in frequency and severity). But if your outbreaks are manageable, then even bumping up the dosage episodically wouldn’t be necessary.
  4. @Diane & @Lovenhope please post in the H Buddies thread itself and feel free to direct message folks in that thread to seek out buddies/mentors. I also offer private one-on-one Skype coaching if that feels like a good fit for you; more details at www.adriallifecoaching.com.
  5. 50% of all new genital herpes cases are HSV-1 due to receiving oral sex and passing it from mouth to genitals, so it's pretty common. And yes, if he already carries HSV-1 antibodies, then that does lessen the risk of transmission to other parts of his body. It basically carries the same risk as auto-inoculation (spreading your own herpes outbreak to other parts of the body), which becomes lower and lower the more time the body has a chance to build up immunity to the virus strain.
  6. The majority of folks have oral HSV-1. If you have genital HSV-1, someone going down on you is the same as them kissing the 80% of folks who get cold sores (oral HSV-1). Cuddling and fingering when you're not having an active outbreak should be just fine (aka carries lower risk) since the amount the virus sheds during asymptomatic viral shedding is generally not enough to break through non-mucus membrane skin. It's also going to depend on where your outbreaks occur as that's where the asymptomatic viral shedding will tend to concentrate around. What's most important is to have open conversations with your partner(s) around the actual risks involved and put it all in context so you're both on the same page.
  7. My wife hasn't gotten herpes yet after 4 years of being together and we also have a 2-year-old toddler blasting around the house. As time goes on, your body will develop more and more immunity, which will naturally help in protecting your wife (it will generally take 6 months to a year for your antibodies to build up to a level that will start to keep the virus at bay). My wife and I opted for no condoms — hence the baby! — with daily suppressive therapy (Acyclovir twice a day to cut viral shedding in half), but each couple and person is different in their risk tolerance, so talk it all out, get on the same page. For what it's worth, in my experience and for the vast majority of my clients, the bark is so much worse than the bite in how herpes is experienced in real life (vs those terrifying fantasies) and the actual impact it tends to have on most relationships is minimal. The fear and worst-case scenarios that we project onto herpes is the actual thing that can wreck relationships and our lives, not the herpes itself. Keep your head up and certainly be as careful as you can be. Take whatever precautions make both of you feel good, and be hyper-vigilant around controlling and reframing the paranoia that can run rampant in your mind. You got this.
  8. Hey @hope27, Great question! There's a lot wrapped up in those transmission rate numbers, including whether the one who doesn't have herpes is male or female (more mucous membrane on vaginas vs. penises means there's a higher transmission rates to females than males), the relative strength of both partners' respective immune systems, the location of outbreaks, whether it's HSV-1 or HSV-2, and whether the person who has herpes is aware that they have it (80-90% of folks who have herpes don't know it). That last piece is where that seeming discrepancy lies that you point out (if the transmission rate is so low, then why do so many people have it and how did I get it?). This is precisely why I believe the first line of defense against spreading herpes is knowing you have it and communicating with partners about it. If you're oblivious that you have genital herpes, then you're much less likely to abstain from sex if you feel some prodrome symptoms coming on. And don't be so quick to assign yourself as unlucky, though — that's a trick of the mind that can create some unfortunate self-fulfilling prophecies. Drop that quick. Sometimes random things happen. And we get to grow through whatever life gives us. And for anyone else wanting to get clear on the specifics about transmission rates, here's a link to download the fact sheets here (along with the free disclosure e-book) to get a good overview of everything: https://herpesopportunity.com/free-ebook-signup.html
  9. Here's a helpful snippet of video when I interviewed one of the top herpes researcher's Dr. Peter Leone: http://bit.ly/2AQJMRl Since 98-99% of all HSV-2 cases are genital (meaning only 1-2% are oral), it's uncommon for HSV-2 to want to camp out orally, although it's still possible (you'll find folks on these forums who share oral HSV-2 experiences). And if you happen to have genital HSV-1, then someone going down on you carries the same risk as them kissing the majority of the population who carry oral HSV-1 (aka cold sores).
  10. All of that is just plain wrong. Don't let the stigma get the best of you. You get to determine the course of your life, not herpes. I'm married and we have a 2 year old. And there are plenty of other success stories out there. Start here in our "success stories" section: https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/?forumId=9 Download the e-book & handouts: https://herpesopportunity.com/free-ebook-signup.html Watch this video I made summarizing the facts: http://bit.ly/1hjPxJo Listen to the Q&A audio recording with Terri Warren with the H Opp community: https://herpesopportunity.com/terri-warren.html Watch our video interview with top herpes researcher Dr. Peter Leone http://bit.ly/2ikZ89g http://bit.ly/2AQJMRl (“What about oral?”) And if you're ready to make yourself stigma bulletproof, purchase the Lifestyle Guides I created to give people step-by-step support to get feeling better quick (it also helps to keep our community running): https://herpesopportunity.com/lifestyle-guides.html
  11. @Briana No, just don't take a bath with your baby while you're having an active outbreak. Definitely read this article for more specifics: https://herpeslife.com/how-can-you-get-herpes/
  12. Hard to tell with a blurry pic. Best way to get a definitive result is to get it swabbed, especially when there's something to swab. Did you ask the nurses to test it to make sure?
  13. My then-girlfriend told me the day after we had unprotected sex that the discomfort she was feeling was actually her first outbreak. (She had cheated on me with an ex over Christmas break.)
  14. For me, many months. But for most, it happens within a few weeks.
  15. Herpes isn't a blood-borne thing. The virus lives either at the top or base of the spine, depending on the zone of original infection and becomes awakened and travels down the nerve cells to the surface of the skin. Blood tests find antibodies in the blood, which isn't the virus itself. Does that help?
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