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mr_hopp last won the day on April 7

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  1. Sorry you both are going through so much confusion! False positives and negatives are unfortunately quite common, especially with IgM. And yes, definitely go for the western blot to get a definitive result. By the way, here's an article on herpes tests with more explanation.
  2. Hi Sarah, Hm, that does sound odd. If you're having genital outbreaks, that wouldn't *seem* to be related at face value; the nerve pathways HSV takes for genital outbreaks is from the base of the spine to the outbreak spot (so generally nerve sensations happen in the below-the-belt area in the thighs and butt). Even if it were an oral outbreak we're talking about, the pathway would be from the top of the spine to the oral outbreak spot, which wouldn't pass through the shoulder/arms area. I wonder ...
  3. Well, the smoking (cigs or weed) certainly isn't helping the outbreaks! 😃 Smoking in general is a big hit to your immune system, so any natural immunity you have built up over time gets decimated when you smoke. I would definitely suggest at least slowing down to give your body and the meds a better chance of staving off outbreaks. In the long run, planning on quitting (or dramatically decreasing) will be most healthy for you on multiple levels since it sounds like you're using weed as a crutch to feel better. And you know what, you have the ability to feel better inside yourself without
  4. Great question! As far as I know, the short answer is yes, but with a few caveats: Obviously refrain from oral sex if an outbreak is happening or feels like one might be coming on (prodrome symptoms). Spreading HSV-2 orally is very rare (only 1-2% of all oral herpes is HSV-2; 98-99% is HSV-1) If it's been recent that you have gotten herpes, then it takes about a year or so before your body will build up natural immunity (antibodies) to help protect herpes from spreading. So even though it's rare to spread HSV-2 orally, be extra careful within this year window. Here's a clip fro
  5. If you don’t currently have a partner who doesn’t have herpes that you are trying to protect from transmission, you might as well go off the medication to see how your body handles it. Worst case scenario you have an outbreak that will heal, and you’ll have a helpful datapoint. After the year mark, most people’s immune systems can handle it pretty well and they’ll have infrequent outbreaks even without medication. If I were single and not sleeping with anyone, I wouldn’t be taking daily suppressive therapy. But since I’m trying to keep my wife safe, I take meds daily. So in short, there
  6. Welcome! What you're feeling is totally normal. It's part of the 5 stages of grieving ... which might not take the feelings away, but at least it gives what you're going through some context! (And knowing you aren't going through this alone helps, too! It's a great step that you're already reaching out and talking about it.) Be vigilant around watching your thoughts and consciously choosing the beliefs and identity you are taking on around this diagnosis. Work on strengthening your relationship to yourself instead of being disgusted toward yourself. What you need most now is self-compassion an
  7. Hi all! Another gentle nudge to post to the H Buddies thread so we can keep these kinds of buddy requests centralized. I'm going to lock this thread. Thanks! Here's the link: https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/topic/9776-h-buddies-unite/?do=getLastComment
  8. Correct, if you both have the same strain (HSV-2) then it's basically the same risk that either of you have of spreading herpes to other parts of your own body (also known as auto-inoculation), which is hard to do once you already have established antibodies, and especially if you are on daily suppressive therapy (which cuts viral shedding in half). Any small amount of virus from asymptomatic viral shedding will be small enough that your antibodies will take care of it. Of course use common sense like avoiding sex during an active outbreak, but other than that you can indeed enjoy that "
  9. Congrats on officially moving into the "trying for baby" phase of the relationship. My wife and I have a 4 year old boy and it's an absolute joy (and also the biggest self-development journey you'll ever go on)! 😝 Good news is that the chance of passing herpes to your baby is extremely rare. Less than 0.1% of babies in the U.S. get neonatal herpes while 20-25% of pregnant women have genital herpes. And since you've had herpes for well over a year (the time it takes on average for our bodies to build up antibodies), your body has had enough time to get the virus under control, which will l
  10. Hello! There’s a whole category on this forum dedicated to success stories. Check it out: https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/?forumId=9
  11. Hi @Confusedanddepressed, Well, this video is right up your alley! https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy What this is all about is shifting your perspective about how you relate to herpes. To be in relationship with your partner with the desire to keep them safe because you care. Then it becomes less that herpes is a brick wall that stands in the way of intimacy and more that it becomes a doorway into vulnerability and deeper trust with your partner. You can even turn having an outbreak into an intimacy game: "Babe, I'm having
  12. Yeah, you’ve stumbled into confusing territory here, and there’s a lot of misunderstanding. The IgG does tend to give a lot of false positives and negatives unfortunately even though it’s the most popular. (IgM is even worse.) The most reliable tests are either a direct PCR swab and the western blot. The western blot is the gold standard yet pretty pricey. But at least you’ll get a definitive result.
  13. No dumb questions here! Glad you’re asking to be clear. It’s a common question, so you’re in good company. If you have genital HSV-2 then you wouldn’t shed virus around your mouth; viral shedding only happens around the general area of the original infection. So if you have genital herpes, it sheds below the belt; if you have oral herpes, it sheds around the mouth. Does that help?
  14. Hi @paul123789 and welcome! Have you downloaded the free e-book and handouts yet? Those will get you on the right path. You can download them for free here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook ... and here is a video on disclosure that you might find helpful:
  15. Yep, 12 weeks is the standard time for antibodies to achieve detectable levels. And to be sure, get a Western Blot instead of an IgG.
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