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mr_hopp last won the day on June 2

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  1. Hi and welcome! What you're referring to is auto-inoculation. In the first year or so of having herpes, your body is building up natural immunity (antibodies); so you could potentially pass herpes to other parts of your body if you touch an active sore and then touch another part of your body with mucous membrane or a cut in your skin that would more easily allow the virus to enter. But if you follow simple precautions like washing your hands after touching a herpes outbreak, you'll be fine. Herpes doesn't just spread to other parts of your body out of the blue without being transferred b
  2. Hi Southpaw! I'm off to dinner, so don't have a lot of time, but that's a great question and I wanted to make sure you get an answer! And the answer isn't in the number of dates you go on, but in asking yourself the question "Do I trust this person with my vulnerability?" If you don't trust them, then either stop seeing them or wait until you do. From there, it's about sharing with them about what you appreciate about them (that brought about this trust) and saying you have something important to talk about, and see if they're open to having a conversation. From there, tell the
  3. Welcome! We’ve all been there. Including thinking there’s no hope, but that line of thinking is all bullhonkey (excuse my french). These thoughts you listed off are actually super common, but it doesn’t mean they’re true. (My favorite bumper sticker: “Don’t believe everything you think!”) If anything, having herpes filters out the riffraff in the shallow end of the pool and gets right to the depth of relationship, the vulnerability, the true connection ... which is what we’re all after anyway. Give yourself some time to recoup, but don’t let that stinkin’ thinkin’ be the barrier to
  4. Hi @Mtnandwaves, That's going to be a hard question to give a definitive answer on, unfortunately. It's possible that the sex itself was what triggered the outbreak to come on the following day (friction and all), so perhaps you weren't having the active outbreak during actual penetration. 🤞 When you disclosed to him, did you find out if he has been tested for herpes already so at least he knows his baseline status? If he did contract herpes last night, then blood tests won't pick it up for another few months (takes a while before antibodies reach detectable levels), but if any
  5. There are 2 reasons to take medication: To keep a partner who doesn't have herpes safe and/or to keep unmanageable outbreaks under control. Here's an article with more details: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-medication And for the first year, your body is getting things under control, building up antibodies, then for the majority of folks, outbreaks get less and less frequent/intense. What I did myself was just ride it out (without daily suppressive meds) so I could see what "normal" outbreaks would be like as a baseline, but it's a personal decision for everyone. If you we
  6. Yes! This is great, T. Enjoy that sweet sweet dance. 😆 Thanks for sharing and welcome!
  7. This. This is so good! Here's to your courage. And for accepting yourself enough for someone else to see you and accept you, too. And regardless of whether he said yes or no, it's a win. Success is that you even did it. Getting to acceptance is icing on the cake. 😉 Good job. And good on you for noticing your defense mechanisms coming up, too. When we can notice, then we have more choice. Making the unconscious more conscious takes more power away from our patterns that don't really serve us. Defense mechanisms certainly do a great job keeping us safe, but they also keep us disconnected. D
  8. This is a great question and I applaud you for wanting to do your research to keep your partner as safe as possible. Because diabetes compromises the immune system, then that puts diabetics at more risk of contracting herpes and also puts their body at a disadvantage of naturally suppressing future outbreaks. So to your specific question, herpes doesn't actually affect diabetes itself, but diabetes affects the immune system, which then makes the body more susceptible to any viruses.
  9. Beautiful. Big hugs for all the courage and for your deep commitment to your healing. I’m so glad we got to connect.
  10. Hey! Totally normal to have this kind of experience during the first year of infection. Sounds like nerve pain? That's pretty common. Hang in there. Your body is still in the midst of building up antibodies to naturally suppress this over time. You got this.
  11. So to clarify, you have oral HSV-1, correct? To your question, the longer you've had herpes, you do tend to shed less, but since it's asymptomatic, you really just won't know when or how much. Safe to say you're shedding 9-18% of the year. (Read the free handouts for all the facts and transmission numbers broken down on one page.) But it's certainly nowhere near that it's a given that he now has herpes just from kissing one time if you weren't having an outbreak and haven't had an outbreak for 4 years. I'd just be straight up with him. Definitely no need to avoid anything here. Say what y
  12. Get a western blot test to get a definitive result. Swab tests are accurate, so you probably have HSV-2 and your most recent blood test is probably a false positive (was it an IgG?). That's what I'd guess based on what you've said here. And your understanding of HSV1 and HSV2 is a bit off. It's more complicated than that since both strains can be found either orally or genitally, in varying numbers. Around 1/2 of all new genital herpes cases these days, for example, are genital HSV-1 due to giving oral sex while having an oral HSV-1 outbreak (cold sores). Here's a breakdown: https://www.herpes
  13. Hello! No, not selfish. Just a fellow sexual human being. 😄 Some things to clarify: It's actually super rare to get HSV-2 orally. Only 1-2% of ALL oral herpes cases are HSV-2 (in other words, 98-99% of all oral herpes cases are HSV-1). As long as you pause the hanky pank while you're having outbreaks of course, he's much less likely to get oral HSV-2 via oral sex than you may be assuming. Download your free handouts for a breakdown on transmission risks: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook I hope this helps!
  14. Hello and welcome! I can totally appreciate where this anxiety is coming from since I was there myself in the first few years of having herpes. (I felt like just breathing around people would give them herpes!) 😄 And the antidote to this worry is to educate yourself on the actual risks. Transmission rates, especially for genital HSV-1 are much lower than you might think ... It's actually pretty rare to pass HSV-1 genital-to-genital (in fact, Terri Warren told me straight-up that she hasn't seen a case of genital-to-genital HSV-1 transmission). Since it doesn't sound like you get cold sore
  15. Hi Paul, It's difficult to give you a definitive answer via forums, but hopefully this can help. Some folks get outbreaks that look like fissures, also known as papercut herpes, which might be what you have. Have you had a genital outbreak with blisters before? If so, then it's probably not papercut herpes. The only way to know for sure is to get the area swabbed if/when it happens again. And absolutely use lube. Overall, the less friction the better as far as keeping an outbreak at bay (too much friction can certainly be a trigger for an outbreak) .
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