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mr_hopp

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mr_hopp last won the day on December 7

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  1. mr_hopp

    disclosing via text

    It’s a great question! It’s come up a lot on these forums over the years (I’ll try to remember to search for another good thread on this topic next time I’m at my computer). You know, having *any* important conversation via text (not just disclosing) is a double-edged sword: on one side, you’re avoiding feeling the potential rejection/pain/fear/awkwardness; but on the other, you’re also distancing yourself from the intimacy (and shared humanity) that comes with face-to-face. (Ah, so old-fashioned, right?) And here’s the kicker/mindfuck: it’s sometimes those very things we were trying to avoid that actually help to create more intimacy and trust, which creates more connection.
  2. mr_hopp

    6th outbreak, no longer care, few questions.

    Yo B-Man! Great outlook. The move toward acceptance is a mixture of time and working on your mindset/identity. And what used to be a struggle ends up being an internal battle we were having with ourselves. It’s a powerful shift to move into acceptance. Definitely frees up a lot of psychic resources ... Nice job. About the spread question, you should be good if you’ve had it for over a year since the body has had enough time to build up its natural defenses (antibodies). It’s harder to auto-inoculate then. But just to be on the safe side, putting some breathable gauze over the outbreak couldn’t hurt since everybody’s immunity is different.
  3. mr_hopp

    H Buddies, unite!

    Quick reminder: Introduce yourself here if you would like others to direct message you for H buddy connects. If you would like to connect with a H buddy, please use direct message instead of replying within the thread itself. (Helps to keep this thread easy to scan for folks looking for a buddy.) Thanks so much!
  4. mr_hopp

    How do I delete my account?

    YOU get a name change! YOU get a name change! You ALL get name changes! (Said with my best Oprah-esque zeal.)
  5. mr_hopp

    When is the right time

    When is the right time to disclose? When you feel that you can trust this guy with your vulnerability. (Its a good barometer because after all, if you can’t trust him with a vulnerable conversation, then trusting him in the bedroom certainly ain’t happening!) It’s partly a gut intuition, but it’s also how he treats you in general, including how he’s handled any conversations that are more real, emotional and deep. It’s great that you’ve had such great conversations so far! It does sound like there’s a deeper connection sinking in. And disclosing from a place of openness, self-acceptance and care can certainly take that connection deeper!
  6. mr_hopp

    HSV makes me a better person.

    Congratulations, you have officially discovered your herpes opportunity. Beautifully put. And I would offer that herpes didn’t make you a better person; it was simply the leverage that you needed to burn away those false beliefs that were blocking you from being your heartfelt, open self. Nice work. And I’m so glad to hear that you’re able to use this now-open heart to also help others. Spread the love. (More infectious than any virus!)
  7. I haven't passed herpes to a partner and have been married to my wife of 4 years, who hasn't gotten it yet (and for a while there we weren't using condoms, which contributed to us getting this amazing lil 18-month old baby boy!). I have always been on daily suppressive therapy, though. And we discussed the risks together to make the decision to not use condoms. However, be careful of assigning risk via people's personal stories since even though the risk is low across the general population, either someone gets 100% of herpes or 0%, no in between. But being open about it and having an open dialogue not just about herpes, but about sex and sexuality goes a long way to protecting your partner. Communication is the first line of defense to keeping your partners as safe (and loved) as possible.
  8. mr_hopp

    Take a deep breath

    Yes, this is beautiful. The you so much for sharing this ... and for being a sunflower.
  9. mr_hopp

    IgG positive?

    Hey @ummidk, Here’s a link that should be helpful that goes over the tests: https://herpeslife.com/herpes-tests/
  10. mr_hopp

    Thank you everyone!

    I’m glad you’re finding solace here @Michgirl73 ... and know that there is more and more peace and less and less suffering as time goes on. Healing is a large part perspective and also patience.
  11. mr_hopp

    Thank you

    Welcome @Findingmyself ... love the screen name, by the way. I’m glad you’re holding that as a goal for yourself. It’s a worthwhile and attainable one, for sure.
  12. mr_hopp

    It's NOT an opportunity

    "It's not an opportunity" is an understandable reflex, but like @Ishmael pointed to, what narrative are you supporting in this? (For all of us and yourself.) And hey, I certainly didn't see herpes as an opportunity when I was first diagnosed all those years ago, so I get it. But I created this site to help us all continue to shift our perspectives toward Opportunity, to help us all use the hard stuff as leverage for self-introspection and building self-esteem, self-confidence and ultimately self-love. (More infectious than any virus, by the way.) Here's a blog article I wrote after someone sent me a similar message years ago: https://herpeslife.com/a-message-i-got-its-not-an-opportunity So no, the herpes virus isn't some magical thing that creates opportunity in your life. You're the magical thing. It's ultimately each of our decisions which direction we go in. Toward opportunity or away. Also, be careful about the words you choose to use and the stories you tell yourself about what your future holds. You are creating your reality with every word. What we focus on truly does grow. Here's an article on the power of words: https://herpeslife.com/herpes-wordplay-the-power-of-words
  13. mr_hopp

    Inspirational Quotes, Anyone?

    "Unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so." — Noam Chomsky
  14. mr_hopp

    Transmission

    Hey @Jenn88, It's a 4% chance of transmission to men if no condoms or medication is used and you avoid sex during outbreaks. (10% for women.) All the helpful facts are all boiled down in the handouts that come with the e-book here: https://herpeslife.com/opportunity/free-ebook-signup.html
  15. mr_hopp

    Inspirational Quotes, Anyone?

    "Hurt people hurt people. We either transform our pain, or transmit it."
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