This_sucks

I have always attracted losers. It's just my talent. Lol. It's either the lune or the latex either way I don't want to have sex anymore. Not like this anyway

Well damn. I just read the other comments. @thumper you are wrong with that attitude. Everyone in here has it and is dealing with it. It's no fun for any of us.

Your last paragraph about having a sick vagina is exactly how I feel.

That's very true! Maybe I need more time to myself. I do know that I always hated being single and while I do go through moments where I want to be in a relationship this is the first time in my life I have been happy single. And I imagine that's because I don't feel like I should be in one like this. I know I deserve to be happy, loved and all that blah blah blah but I guess mostly for me is that it was hard for me before to find someone and now It's going to be harder so I don't try and I'm happy not trying and failing. Does that make sense?

Oh and my vagina freaks out every time I have sex! And I don't want to deal with that either

That makes total sense. Euphoric sex ahhhhh I miss it so much. Spontaneous passionate "I want you so bad" sex. I don't have the talk cause I don't let myself get that far. In my mind when I say I have this men run. Unfortunately the kind of guys I come into contact with only care about themselves and aren't concerned with learning about this disease or making sure I'm pleased. The only guy who ever showed any interest in having a safe healthy sex life actually stayed away from me because he was scared. Lol. I know some people get past this hurdle but I don't see it happening for me. Sex is so important to people these days and truthfully the more I try the more I don't want to be bothered with anyone. And I'm ok 95% of the time until I try and this happens.

Sorry about the typos.

I've always found guys who only one thing. I'm a disaster in the relationship department. Always have been. Lol. I'm 49. There have been a couple guys who claimed they cared and I told them and they are gone now. One was my ex who could have very well given it to me since I have no clue where or when or from who and he was just using me, or trying to anyway. And this last guy is a guy im cool with and have known for years and we were just hanging at my house watching movies and one thing led to another so I told him I could do the do and he kept asking why and so I told him and he wanted to do it anyway safely of course and we've been spendin a lot of time together quality time cause I apparently am allergic to freaking condoms or something so ww just did it that one time and today he said something about not touching me with his fingers because of the dreaded H and that's when I realized all what I said in my original post. I mean I knew it wasn't a love connection but I didn't think it was like that.

so i was diagnosed roughly a year and a half ago. for the most part I have stayed away from men. But on the few occasions that I have ventured to tell someone boy oh boy was I wrong thinking that it was me they wanted. They thought that they had someone they could basically poke and get oral from without having to please me back. Put a condom on, stick it in but too afraid to touch me. I feel like sex is dead to me except as a vessel for some dude to get his rocks off. I haven't been on here in a while cause mostly I just stay away from men and don't think about my situation. I don't really know what I'm thinking. So much is going on In My head right now. I don't even know what I'm looking for posting this.

Speaking of hs1 I always got like 1 or two fever blisters (or whatever) a year and now I keep getting one in the same place everytime I get stressed. Is it possible I don't have genital but hs1 down below! I dont know. It's too much.

No fun at all. I don't have sex anymore. I don't flirt anymore. I see a young hottie it dawns me I cant. I was a very sexual being and now I'm not. But I'm making it. I do better when I don't think about it at all. So I don't think about it.

Thanks. I won't waste money on a blood test :(

How often are cultures false positives?

I don't need spermicide. Can't have babies anymore. And I don't anybody so I don't need them right now. Never tried to female condom.

I think I am allergic to condoms or spermicides. I bought a big ole box of lifestyle and I get BV everytime I use them so I just quit having sex. Got tired of going to the doctor.