CC1985

Ok so I've been seeing a new guy and the other week I was over at his house watching a movie and before I knew it my pants were down and he was eating out, problem is I have genital herpes and he doesn't know that... I feel awful, this all just happened so fast I should have stopped him but I didn't. I really planned on disclosing to him but the timing just hadn't felt right yet. Now I feel like my discloser is going to be harder for me than usual because I let him go down on me with out telling him. What do I do? How do I disclose to him with out him being enraged that I didn't give him a heads up before things got physical? We haven't actually had sex yet but the fact that he did go down on me means I still put him at risk with out giving him the choice on if that was something he felt comfortable with. I feel absolutely horrible. Please help, I have no idea on how to even tell him what I've allowed him to do to me let alone the fact that I have herpes. Any input will be really appreciated!

Hello! So I have been with my bf for four months and I disclosed to him a while ago and things went well and we have amazing sex but the one thing that is missing is oral sex, I mean I can live with out it but I kinda don't want to. I perform oral sex on him on the regular but since he knows I have hsv2 he hasn't even attempt to go down on me not even once and I can't say I blame him. So my question is, if he were to go down on me could he catch my hsv2 on his lips? For those of you who have hsv2 how did you make your partner feel comfortable with going down south?

Yeah I know. Men need more time than women sometimes to process things so it's important that we give them the time they need. Being too pushy too talk about things can end up pushing them away. They'll come Round when they're ready. Xo

I'm going through the exact same thing. I told the guy that I'm dating that I have hsv2 a few days ago and although he's been nice and understanding of it, I can still sense a distance from him that was not there before I disclosed to him. I have also noticed that it has been slightly harder to nail down plans with him as well, like last night he was suppose to come over and watch a movie with me but instead he went out and got super drunk with his friends. He did end up showing up that night but he was pretty wasted and didn't appear to be feeling well so I told him to go home and take care of himself. I totally get the feelings your feeling right now. I guess we just both have to wait it out a bit and see if they're able to Handel the news or if they're gonna eventually leave because they can't Handel it. I really wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out with your guy, if it doesn't it's not you're fault. We didn't do anything wrong. We were honest now the ball is in their court.

@Chinup hey there! Well it definitely sounds like me and you are on similar stages with our guys and I totally know what you mean by how most of the time when you're with him you don't even think about herpes then once you think about having to disclose you pretty much just want to vomit. It's such a sucky feeling. Imagine our relief we will have once we both finally disclose! Especially if it works out in our favor! Sending you positive vibes and hugs! Keep me posted when you disclose!

@PositivelyBeautiful I am so thankful that people like you exists .thank you so much for all that you have said. You definitely helped pick my confidence from off the ground. Thank you so much! And I loved the qoutes! More people on here need to see those!

So I have been coming on this board for about 3 weeks now and I have found it extremely helpful! I've been reading through as many success stories as I can about disclosing because I've been wanting to disclose to someone who I've been seeing for the past 5 weeks and even though it's only been a short while he has became very special to me and I care for him deeply. Anyways I've been trying to plan my discloser to him for the past week or so and even though I'm terrified I still was starting to gain confidence that he might possibly still want me after I have the talk with him. But this morning all of that confidence I was starting to gain quickly left. I think it has a lot to do with what happened last night. Last night he invited me over to his house to meet his 4 year old son and just have a nice chill evening and let me tell you I have never felt more at home! Me and his son had a instant connection I literally sat on the floor and played Legos with him for a hour and l loved every moment of it. After playing Legos with him my guy put his son to sleep and we had our chance for alone time, we snuggled and kissed for about two hours and he then again tried to do more than just kiss and I had to stop him again from going any further for the second time this week because I have yet to disclose to him my condition. But anyways last night was amazing and I feel like meeting his son who he is absolutely in love with brought us that much more closer and made our bond that much more stronger, at least that's how I feel about the situation. So when I woke up this morning and reflected on how amazing our night was together I immediately was filled with so much anxiety more than ever followed by an annoying amount of crying because I realized that I am now starting to fall in love with him and that just makes it a billion times harder for me to disclose to him now because I just don't know what I'm gonna do if he doesn't want me after I tell him I have H. I literally don't think my heart can handle a rejection from him. I know I have to disclose to him as soon as humanly possible because things are are getting far too steamy when we are together and I'm running out of excuses to tell him. Thanks for listening I just really needed to vent this out because I literally have no one else I can talk to about this because no one knows I have Herpes so I really have no where to turn to but here.

Ok I'm literally crying right now. Thanks you for sharing this beautiful story. I am beyond happy for you and wish you two the best. I'm about to disclose any day now to this guy that I have been seeing and whom I have a crazy amount of feelings for and I am absolutely terrified. But your story gave me a ton of hope and inspiration. I just have to finally mustar up the courage to have the talk with him.

@Miji69 thank you so much for sharing this! I really can not wait to disclose to him because my aniexty about it all is getting a little too much to Handel. I think the main reason I keep putting it off because I know once I tell him and if it goes bad then he's definitely not the one for me but I just really want him to be the one for me ya know! So basically as soon as I share this info with him I'm going to know right away what the possible future of our maybe relationship is going to be based my H news and that scares me. I guess I've just been enjoying this ignorant bliss but it's time for me to get real with myself and with him. Thanks agin for your input.

@jaynine87 omg your story seriously gave me so much hope! What a lucky girl you are! Seriously praying that my guy takes the news as gracefully as yours did! I'll keep you all posted!

Thank you! @wiwino and @WCSDancer2010! I really appreciate it! Going to see him tonight and if the mood is right I'm going to disclose to him tonight! If not tonight then definitely this weekend!

So amazing! I am incredibly happy for you! This definitely gives me hope. I'm going to disclose to someone who I have been dating with in the next couple of days and I lady mine goes at least half as decent as yours went!

Ok so I've been dating this amazing guy for the past month and things have been going absolutely amazing! Every time I'm with him my heart just feels so at peace and I know it's soon but I really feel like this guy could be "the one." I've never felt such a connection to anyone like I have with him. He treats me like a princess and our conversations and chimestry is out of this world! Anyways he invited me over to his house last night for a movie and of course we started kissing and things got extremely heated and before I knew it we were on his bed and he was in nothing but boxers, he tried to take down my pants but it used the whole "it's that time of the month excuse" and I can see how disappointed he was because we were both extremely turned on and we have been wanting each other for a while. So anyways we kissed some more and I gave him oral then we just snuggled and looked into each other eyes before I had to rush home to my son. I really wanted to disclose to him last night that I have genital herpes And have had it for a year but I just couldn't get the words to form out of my mouth. I just love the way he looks at me and I feel like once I tell him I have herpes he's not going to view me like he does now and I'm terrified of loosing him if he can't Handel my positive status. He seems like a very understanding and non judgmental type of person but I know that the herpes is hard one to swallow for anyone! I know I need to disclose to him some point this week because next time we have alone time I'm not going to be able to use the it's that time of the month again excuse. I am so terrified. I don't know what I'm gonna do if he rejects me. I know I'm suppose to keep calm and be positive and factual when I disclose but I'm still worried I'm not going to word things right. I already read the Ebooks but if you guys can give me any pointers, tips or examples on what to say so I can hopefully have a positive outcome come from this I would greatly appreciate it. I'm definitely going to be disclosing to him before the weekend! Ahhhhh I'll let you guys know how or goes! I'm praying to God that I'll be able to write a disclosing success story on here with in a few days, but we shall see.