fairlyme

Been a bit since I've been on here, but thought I would share this.... http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/risked-fell-love-someone-whos-hiv-positive/1100565/ It's not about our (h). There are others battling this love game too. Nice little Saturday perspective piece of reading. : )

@seeker I'm from the Midwest. Wouldn't even know where to look for a meetup group here.

Just wanted to pass on the love and support to everyone today.

Thank you @WCSDancer2010 for the comment. I'm not ready to date, still going through the whole process of coming to terms. Just looking to meet other people, just like on here. Thoughts on +singles was that I would have better access to people in my area, meet new friends. I've just read about the lawsuit on that site and would prefer to not to have my information made public.

@WCSDancer2010 I apologize. I did not mean to lump you into the same process. I did not set up my response properly. I'm looking for a support group. I have a doctor/specialist, but would like one who knows more about this, maybe a different specialization. I had posed the question of using other sites to just meet people. I'm nervous about doing any dating anytime soon, just want to meet a few local + friends. Still trying to get comfortable with this, not ready to put myself out there yet.

Hello. I'm still very new here and this virus. Still going through the steps and taking life day by day. I've always been the curious type, and (of course) know virtually no one from my area of the states that shares my gift. THANK YOU sh***y stigmas. Nothing better than having something like a minor rash on you backside (in my awkward case) bring you down... I'm sorry if I don't make sense. Maybe in the beginning that's suppose to be how we feel? I just have a lot of things/questions that I want to get out. I find it sad that having this turns people inside out. Most of us have enough problems and adding this is only the cherry on our sundae (it's so cold, but I'm craving one at the moment). Point of my matter... This place has helped me so much in the last few days/going on 2 weeks, and I want to get better, know more, help others, feel whole, make true friends, continue to be honest, show support, and the list goes on and on and on and so on. Back to my discussion title. I have met people here who I can't wait to cultivate (my father is a farmer) a connection with, but I want to know what are your thoughts about herpes dating websites? Just want to know how people think/feel about it and if anyone has tried it? I was never afraid to date (3 months ago), but now it is different. H has already been my "wingman", and I have lost the guy that drove me to want to get this darn rash on my A** tested and it sucked the same exact way that is does when you hurt your knee (remember Peter Griffin...) BUT, I know know who he really is and I'm happy to not be ignorant anymore, just honest. I guess this is my present hurdle. I just want to know thoughts and opinions. That's all.

@golden_panacea5 @PersephoneLove Hello. We are not alone, we are the enlightened ones. I was confirmed last week and today is my 1 week anniversary. I even received my first rejection last night from the guy that I had been dating (rough stuff), but it's funny how numb you get. I joined this site and reach out to people everyday. @WCSDancer2010 and @fitgirl were the first to answer my call. Even reached out to Adrial, and I hope to talk to him in the future. Today, has been better, despite what happened to me last night and how new this all is. Funny how this "thing" makes you put sh*t into perspective. I realize (have for a while) that I'm not taking care of myself as well as I should. I've also let past experiences ruin present & future opportunities. Days will will have their ups and downs, this I know. I also can't predict my future, but maybe now I can learn to love myself better, ask for help when I need it, and (most importantly) meet new people to share love and support to. I'm filled with it and I haven't gifted myself with any ounce of it. Share your love. We all need it. I'm also a rambler. Guess I should start loving that quality too.

@WCSDancer2010 no. It just came back for 2. I see a specialist and he orig. ordered the PCR blood test for me. Wrong choice. : / after the + swab culture, he re-tested my blood for antibodies like what should have been done first, and it can back with both. Had an ex who had 1 but didn't find it necessary to disclose until I saw the cold sore. He was ignorant about many things in his life beyond his status.

@WSCDancer2010 I was giving the wrong blood test first, which gave me neg for both 1 & 2. A swab comfirmed. It's been hell. I have both and my body is a mess. Just opted for suppressant therapy, but I've never felt like this before. How long until I get a normal feeling back?

@victoriaxxx @scaredypanties @WCADancer2010 I'm sorry to hear your process, I was recently diagnosed and had a similar initial negative test result. Wishing I could find something in MO. Know of anything to direct me too?

@beachdude1984 is it a bad thing that I don't exactly know all that I want to ask you just yet? I'm dealing with this one day at a time from an over emotional, female perspective... I guess that what I would like to know initially, is how you came to find out and the process you took to deal with it. I don't know how long you've had this, but how/when did you decide to get back out there and reclaim your life?

This dress that I'm hanging in my closet is so pretty, and it fits "me" well, but I want to feel pretty in it and not afraid.

@fitgirl Yes. I honestly would. It would be nice to get some male perspective on this. I know that we are all human and have feelings, but as a woman, I know that we express ourselves differently. I know that no one is alone in this, we are all friends here. I'm just ready to start developing the right friendships. I still have so many questions to address and I want to better understand my new (lifelong) partner(s). I still can't stand my "yuck", yet I want to better deal with it.

@fitgirl Thank you, again. I have been searching for quite some time for what makes me tick and it is an uphill battle, constantly. Lately, I have been sleeping A LOT. I'm a petite person and have dropped weight (all stress related). I want to get out there and find my tick, but now I'm having social anxieties. I never had anything like this before, and I feel so disconnected. I've spent the last few days traveling through this forum and reading, reading, reading stories from everyone. It's a blessing, that's why I joined today. I even watched Adrial's videos. I know that my journey has just begun, but my biggest fear is the same as most others, "How will I find a partner?" I've had my first (h) talk on the very same day as my results, now the issue is trust. I've read the stats, but I honestly want to know the male perspective on this. As women, it seems like we dominate a major portion of this site and open discussions.

@fitgirl I saw fear, shock, concern, and (I think) kindness in his eyes. We were new to each other. I was going through all of these damn tests when I met him. I disclosed a little bit, but not enough to chase him away before I really knew my results. I checked in on him yesterday, and he responded. I'm happy that he did. He will go get tested, as I asked, because he had never been before. I know that I did not get this from him, I've had confusing signs since last year. Never genitally, just on my backside. The dr. gave me the wrong blood test, at first. That week of waiting was terrible, and when I received the negative result, I was astonished. Upon further googling, I read that the test I was given is not accurate for use with blood samples. I didn't want to pass on something that I still thought I had to someone who I truly cared about, for the first time in a looooong time. For the longest time, I actively searched for someone to fill what I was lacking...love. I compared myself to my friends and wondered what was wrong with me. I am frequently told that I am (physically) beautiful, funny, smart, witty, and a fine catch for someone. My only problem was the men that I was meeting only wanted one thing from me, and I (despite, not really wanting to, nor feeling comfortable with doing it) gave them what they wanted. I know that I have wronged myself, and that my insecurities are the reason why I now have this. It's been hard... really hard. All I wanted was love and a family one day. Now, I have this and will have to figure out how to build myself back up. I bought a new dress this past week, it's from my favorite company. It came to my apt today, and I tried it on. Sad thing is, this dress is sooo cute, yet I feel ugly in it. That's not how I use to feel. Clothing was a costume to how I really felt, and now I can't hide under it anymore.