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Thank you, guywithhsv ! You have a great attitude! You really are a kind, respectful and honest guy! I got herpes 1 genital 6 weeks ago. I am married for 22 years. And been in an open marriage for 12 months. Yes, WCSDancer2010, is correct in saying that Mr.Google herpes research can backfire! My husband researched online and found that he has a 70% chance of getting herpes 1 genital from me. Yet, on this site the statistics are VERY different. He doesn't know who to trust? And I don't want to feel like I must convince him to stay with me.

Hello Sarahwebster, I am sorry you are having a tough time. I too, have been there. You are not alone. I too, had suicidal thoughts. For me it is very complex situation. I have been in a marriage for 22 years. Monogamous for 18 years. Then, I finally admitted I was bi-sexual. My husband and i decided to have an open marriage. It was exciting and also great for our sex life. Especially for me since I was a naive virgin when I met him. es, he was my first real boy friend, and I married him. Things get complicated...we moved to another country because my husband lost his job and there was no work for him in America. I had a lesbian lover I saw occasionally. He had a lover as well. It got out of hand. I moved back to America with our two kids. We have been apart for 18 months. I played with people 2 a month. I got herpes 1 genital 6 weeks ago. My husband said, he did not want to have sex with me because he didn't want to get the disease. This was shocking for me. But, I thought, it's okay, I understand, I thought I possibly would say the same.... I was feeling lower and lower... I decided to do a personal development course called Landmark Forum to help me get clarity on the situation. IT HELPED ME SO MUCH! I feels so good freeing myself of the horrible shame I was feeling. I am accepting my herpes disease. I choose it. I will now have healthier sexual relationships and a healthier life because I will need to keep my stress level to a minimum and genuinely love myself. On Saturday, I shared with my husband that I thought I would like to separate....I can not guarantee him that he will not get the disease. I don't want to worry about having sex with him. I don't want to hide who I am, I don't want to feel ashamed of who I am. I feel good and feel open. By the way, I had a beautiful surprise....one of the incredibly hot men I was seeing before I got herpes, asked to see me again. I was so shocked. He does not have herpes! I thought he was joking. He said, he was serious. He said, he read all about herpes and knows what he is in for. 4 days ago, we had fabulous mind blowing sex! It was like nothing had changed. He made me feel soooo good. It has changed. A lot has changed. I love and respect myself. This too can be you! Be kind to yourself. Hugs to you!

Yes, you have helped lots! And the universe is amazing like that..... I can't wait to purchase the (h) opportunity guidebooks to help me navigate my new life! Also, this weekend, I am excited to do a personal development course for 3 days. I look forward to getting clarity and what direction I would like to take my life. I will keep you posted, Oh, Yeah! Sending big HUGS your way!!

WCSdancer2010, Thank you, thank you taking the time to respond! It means so much to me!!! You have an amazing way of responding and being straight up with the facts, and authentic with what you see in the situation. Thank you for clarifying the chances of him catching it. He must have been reading some really out of date information compared to your data. Thank you for suggesting the guide book handouts. Yes, yesterday I was checking out the dating and relationship book and the sex and intimacy book. I definitely was going to purchase these two, but might be best if I get all four to get the whole story. I appreciated you sharing your gut feeling about how my husband could potentially be using herpes as an excuse to get out of the marriage. You are insightful. I was feeling the same way. Today, was the first day that I felt closer to good, thanks to reading your reply at 4am, and could see hope for me. Oddly, enough, after reading your response, I contacted the hottest sexiest man of the few individuals which I had been seeing and shared how I might get a divorce because my husband doesn't want to have sex with me, so he would not get the virus. And to my total surprise, he said, he would like to see me again. He said, I am an amazing woman. Of course, the sex is all for fun fucking, nothing serious. And I am not rushing into anything because I want to totally heal mentally. He said he had been researching about the virus and he didn't see it being a problem. Funny how two people(my husband vs. Friend with benefits) can have such different view points....hhmmm So sweet that you put (((HUGS))). All the best. .

Firstly, one month ago, March 30, I was told I have HSV-1 genital. Sadly, I don't know who I got the virus from because the two people I slept with during the initial break-out time said they tested negative. So then, I might have gotten it months ago...I have had intercourse with 10 people in the past 10 months, so that makes me feel even more guilty that I may have infected other people without knowing....I wanted to commit suicide the first week during the horrible painful blisters. I felt and feel dirty, ashamed and very low self-worth. I am trying to understand this very complex virus by reading and reading online. Thankfully, I have fully healed and I’m back to regular exercise. I am still on medication, though. Secondly, my situation is REALLY complicated. I have a unique situation in that I have been married for 22 years. For 18 months, we have lived apart (I’m in America and he’s in Asia) seeing each other only 3 times a year. Four years ago, we agreed to have a very discreet open marriage. I’m a Mom caring for our two children, 14 year old daughter and 12 year old son at home in America. I am a fit sexy woman and my sexuality is incredibly important to me. Especially due to being raised Catholic only until 4 years ago, finally allowing myself to truly feel sexual pleasure. I had an okay and sometimes good sex life, but in these recent years, it has been REALLY fucking good(full disclosure: sometimes it's great hot sex with my husband but, since we don't have our strong connection with rarely see each other it is difficult! Thirdly, do I divorce or stay married? Since getting the virus….My husband doesn't see a future for us to be together now that I have HSV-1 genital. He does not want to get the virus. I saw him last week, he really didn't want to hold me even with clothes on. He too is soul searching because this in not the marriage he imagined for himself. He read that there is a 70% chance he would get the virus from me if we had sex. So he doesn't know how we will ever have a fulfilling sex life together. And he thinks I will be jealous when he has multiple sexual relationships with other women while I might not be able to enjoy sexual intimacy. Yes, I would be if I am alone dealing with the pain and outbreaks on my own. He asked me how many out breaks would I have each year and how bad will they be? I said, “I am unable to answer those questions, it is unknown about how my body will deal with the virus in years to come”. These are the questions I am asking myself…..Do I divorce and then openly find individuals with herpes to openly enjoy fulfilling sex, intimacy and connection on that deeper level, yet will I have the strength to divorce and be alone caring for two children? OR Do I stay in my marriage and live separate sexual lives, find individuals with herpes and secretly hide and will I have the strength to be positive in the marriage? So what advice can you give me? Please help.