Well I just recovered having my first outbreak, about 2.5 weeks ago I engaged in sexual activity after a long hiatus! well the next day I noticed 2 bumps didn't think nothing of it thought it was razor burn... Again engaged in some "fun" later in the week, then I started to notice more bumps! Hmm what the heck is going on I thought I must have irritated the hell out of my V.... Then I start having symptoms of a UTI without the frequency I'm like Oh great! Now this... Got some OTC meds and carried on this is now a week into me noticing the bumps ... Now I'm getting a bit paranoid... I'm investigating down under every chance I get to notice any changes... AHHHH.... What is this?? 2 white head looking things on the inner bottom lips of my V In an area I don't shave... All hell breaks loose I'm losing my mind stressing out googling (which is by far the worst thing I did) I drove myself crazy, had a major breakdown couldn't sleep etc, I couldn't take not knowing at this point I was highly stressed out, scared, and already doomed myself so I had enough I put my "pride" to the side and went to the dr hoping I was wrong... He checked me out swabbed my sores and said I suspect this is herpes I am going to put you on some meds and we will confirm your results... I was mortified. I went in my car and cried hysterically actually all throughout the day I cried even in the shower. Wednesday comes... Miss the call from the dr UGH now I gotta wait until the next day finally Thursday comes I have to wait until after work to call... I call he isn't there so I leave a message 20 min later I get the call... "Your lab results came back for herpes type 1 (in the genitial region... Nothing in the mouth area) at this point I knew this was what I had so I was emotionless... I told the guy because I seen him just the night before and he noticed I was "sad/upset" I told him I was nervous awaiting results so before I could reach out to him he reached out to me I explained and I get ... " I'm sorry this happened to you... I hope you get better... I'm 100% fine and healthy I don't have it" WTF???????? I was so pissed I mean I wouldn't wish this on anyone but even when I told him he may not have signs it's like he was throwing it in my face so finally I lost it and went off on him then I felt bad... Hmm a few days later he tells me he has signs of herpes on his tongue but still in denial ... But he is healthy?!?! Gosh it just amazes me and makes me angry and I have no idea if he is gonna get tested but we'll see.... Right now I'm trying to just wrap my head around this new diagnoses while I deal with my psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis grrrr I'm a bit at ease because I'm 99% cleared up by just paranoid to pass this by touching anything I'm constantly washing my hands and making sure no one accidentally touches my utensils or cup ... I already have low self esteem and this definitely lowered it even more :/
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