Francina7

@2Legit2Quit I will. Hugs! :)

@2legit2Quit I don't attend any church or religious gathering at all. I just pray by myself. I am trying to write my exams now and have started preparations. Time is less. So many amendments and new case laws. But I can do all things through Him. Getting healthier. Started yoga, pilates and just being myself again. Thankyou so much for having a nice chat. Hugs.

@2Legit2Quit Thank you! I used to be different before I became a Christian. I had no fear and anxiety. I was tough though I wasn't street smart. I was always a topper in class and first in everything like dancing, acting, etc. Too ambitious and slightly arrogant. I never cried. Was a commitment phobic as I had trust issues. My aim was to become richer than Dad and walk out saying I can take care of myself. Everything changed after I became Christian. In the beginning of my Christian journey some of the bad fake Christians did a lot of harm by their constant nagging telling I need to be humble, must give away all that I had to them, shouldn't be single, shouldn't be ambitious, etc. Result: I am in trouble. I felt constantly guilty on my every success and compliment. I started getting more and more plain, dull and 'humble' which didn't suit my true nature. Then I started getting scared. Every single one of them said that I have studied too much already and must stop it and marry the guy God has shown in vision (which was the pastor themselves or their relatives- mostly). When I reasoned out that there is no limit to education or achievements just to make them understand that I am not proud as there are people out there who are more educated than I am or more ambitious than I am, they would say I was being too worldly. I was few months away from becoming a Chartered Accountant as I had a very good coaching and I was aiming for a rank in top 5 in my exams. My teachers (CAs) were expecting too. These pigs ruined me so much that I got scared that I will get lost if I write exams and take the partnership position my teacher offered me. I lost 7 years now. I couldn't take normal jobs as it won't support my lifestyle. I just stayed in my apartment and became even more sad & unproductive. By the time I understood that they were doing all that just to con me out of money and things, I lost my career and tons of money. These so-called Christians did too much harm than any criminal can do to me. I do love being a Christian. It is personal. I think people shouldn't force religious views on others and use Bible verses to their advantage. I just don't understand why I listened to them. Usually I never listened to any stupid suggestion or idea. I just wanted to share this with you as you made some effect on me. Thank you girl. Hugs!

@2Legit2Quitt" I am 34 but I always had minimal exposure to the real world. Most of my phobias are based on facts (like Adrian Monk claims). I don't take medication. I try to do the right thing and everything stays normal. Only when I lose focus of what needs to be done, I get into obsessions, addictions and stress. Thanks for telling all that. Sex is too much info to process. You have helped more than you realize. Hugs to you!

@WCSDancer2010 WOW! Thank you for the input! WOW! Hugs!

@Bambina3 Thank you! I had no idea about that. :o Hugs!

Thanks to everyone for you input. It shows you guys really care about others. I was worried as his friend suggested him a book and he claimed that he is "cured" now. It made me very angry that he was being misled. The book was written by some guy Richard Teddy Frank or Prank or Whatever on natural cure who is not even a doctor but an accountant and wellness expert. I was like "Seriously?!?!?!?" He bought it and started following it like it was Bible which made me a bit stressed and scared. He does looks better from doing all that breathing techniques, detox, healthy diet and exercise. But that is NOT a Herpes book right? That's about wellness. I hate when people think Asian medicines has all the cure. I got tired trying to reason out. Maybe I can reason with him when he gets his next outbreak to start taking antivirals. No matter what, I will be with him. Thank you.

Interestingly, the CDC reckons that anyone who is sexually active will get HPV at some time in their life...and while you can ID Genital Warts on a man (which is one type of HPV), there are 38 others that we STILL can't test for in men... And with HSV, there's a 1 in 6 chance you will be dating someone with HSV2 and 4:5 chance that someone will have HSV1 ... so with that in mind, remember that dating someone else doesn't mean you will avoid this problem again (tho they may be willing to take the anti-virals) Point being, @2Legit2Quit is right - look REALLY hard at why you are marrying this man. You say "He's a nice, honest guy" ... but I don't hear any words of LOVE ... don't marry him just because he's nice and honest ... marry him because you can't imagine life without him... even WITH Herpes ;) I love him lots and he is my best friend who truly loves me. I was just being worried as I am a germaphobe and borderline OCD with lots of issues. LOL Thank you girl. I get freaked out at times. All that matters is that we love each other. Thanks for reminding me. I can't live without him. -_-

@Francina7 just a little insight. I married my ex husband and didn't have sex until after marriage, knowing he had HPV. W that said, I was obsessive about catching it and very paranoid. We always had sex w condoms and him wearing boxer briefs, which really ruins the moment to prep like that. One day he said to me: "if you only plan on being w me forever, why do you care so much about getting it? It makes me feel like you're not planning on being w me forever." And you know what? He was right . we were in the military at the time and in a relationship. He was due to come up on orders and we didn't want to get separated. I knew marrying him wasn't the right thing for me and is why I hid it from my family. I even cried the day we walked out of the court house, like what have I done!?? I also did it, to help him financially and I thought I loved him. Eventually I think it started to make him feel insecure and like I was one foot out the door. He ended up cheating on me when I was away for a month in training. He begged me to stay w him and I did. Three months later, he left me for a different woman than he cheated w. I was 22 when I married him and divorced in less than a yr. I'm 34 now. I was angry and didn't understand then what I figured out about 6-7yrs ago and I do not blame him completely for cheating, I have some responsibility in it as well. I emasculated him and gave him no sense of security based on all of this. He was right... I couldn't see myself being w him for life. It didn't feel right and I didn't want to catch something and be rejected in the future by soneone because of it. I share this w you, because it will give you a lot of insight to your situation. I thought I was already in love w him, when we found out he had it. I had him get tested after dating for three months, before we had sex. He wasn't sure what the bumps were until he went in for it. People told me to leave him, including my father who said he got it in college and that's not baggage i want to deal w, but I thought that was awful and couldn't walk away from someone I cared deeply about. I call what I had, more like puppy love, but none the less, I felt it was real, but I still knew in my gut, he was Mr. Right now, not Mr. Forever. So do some thinking and deep inner reflection to find out where your anger and fear is really stemming from. Are you maybe uncertain he is someone you want to spend the rest of your life w and don't want to risk catching this if things don't work out? Big hugs to you girl!!!! Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! :o You didn't have to tell all that but you took time and did for a stranger! It helped me realize many things. I want to be with him forever as he has brought great deal of joy, happiness and peace to me. Thank you girl. I will be with him and deal with this. I will never date anyone again as it will never give this joy. PS- My anger and fear stems from keeping my guard up to prevent getting hurt. Most of the time, the guard I have me suffocates me and hurts me. -_-

I was on antiviral therapy at recent time of diagnosis, but now I am taking the holistic approach, for as long as I can.. You can still have sex and take precautions...the ladies here are better with the stats than I am about condom usage and suppressive therapy. Hugs!! Thank you!

If you're concerned about contracting it, the only thing that suppresses viral shedding an ibs, are antivirals. Herbs will not minimize the viral asymptomatic shedding. If you are marrying him, why are you scared and refraining from sex. We just want to wait until we get married. We are pretty old-fashioned. To be honest, I have been a commitment phobic all my life. This is a big step for me. Thanks for telling about antivirals.

My BF is not taking any medication for his Herpes. He claims that he doesn't need. I am confused. He uses some ayurvedic stuff. Is anyone using neem oil and neem paste? Does it work? I am worried. We are marrying in Jan (we are not intimate now) and I am scared about this self-treatment. He does look better in general. He looks vibrant after using them. But I am very scared. It makes me angry at times. He is a nice, honest guy. I am not sure about trusting wholly in herbal medicines though. :(

@nothinggoodgetsaway that is very well said! I only hope my daughter can feel this way at some point. She is still saying things like "he accepts me", which really bothers me and makes me so upset, because she is worth being accepted by all, and the fact that she feels like only some can accept her because of this just hurts me so bad! I don't think she thinks too highly of herself right now, and that makes me sad. @francina7, I would love to know those answers too because it would be good to share with my daughter. I shared in a comment above. Your daughter deserves better. She deserves to be loved, treasured and appreciated. Not merely accepted. It sounds more like being tolerating a bad puppy. M current BF seems to be doing better now as he did use natural cure which involved lots of nice herbs, massages, breathing techniques, yoga, etc. Please do some research and guide her.

@francina7 how long after dating did he disclose and what was your reaction? Did you feel paranoid for some timetime after being intimate that you may get it and how do you feel about possibly getting it? These are things people will want to know coming on here and I really appreciate you sharing your story. He told straight away as he is my best friend and knows how I get very much stressed and scared when I am lied to. The ex before that broke my trust. All his ex GFs were prostitutes, he was a sex-addict and he had herpes too and I was going to marry him. It left me devastated that I almost ruined a man who didn't give much importance to my future and safety nor cared about my well-being. My current BF is honest and loving. So I had no trouble.

He does try Ayurveda and Naturopathy.