LifeGoesOn3

Yep the last two guys were after the August test. We reviewed the August test at my appointment when discussing my diagnosis and it was negative for everything. So yeah, I'm really hoping for a false positive but at any rate, I'm acting and notifying as if I am. How far back do people go with notification by the way? I have two friends that if I'm in town or if they're in town we would hook up but that was eons ago. Well one was in April. No more of that. Sigh.

Hmmm.......my doctor described them that way. Hmmmmm....Now, I don't know. I started valtrex the day after diagnosis, last Saturday because every itch, twinge, ache freaked me out. My boils have always presented in my groin area. I had a biopsy done when they first appeared years ago and it didn't come back as H but staph which causes folliculitus, etc. I usually will have one and then maybe a second right after but lately given my blood glucose numbers I've had a few appear. All of this usually presents during my period (along with any current infection) so it can be pretty miserable. They also grow and become very heavy which is why applying heat helps them to burst, etc. Anyway, I'm pretty sure they're not the same thing. And yes, my Las hsv test was August 5 and i tested negative. I think my last one was May and negative then too. Last year negative as well. My November 12 test is my first positive result and my doctor was shocked at the number of antibodies. I intend to continue testing to monitor the result and make sure that I didn't also contract HIV since they say HSV makes you more susceptible. Plus, since diabetes is also viewed as an autoimmune disease, I'm just super concerned. I keep spreadsheets on all of my stats(vitals, a1c, cholesterol, etc.) now I'll just add columns for hsv and Hiv tests. I don't think there's enough subsequent data out there so I volunteer.

I don't assume anything. I was til that they were not the same thing. The blisters from hsv are like water blisters...no pus, no whitehead. They were present during my last doctor visit and were not considered such upon viewing them. No swipe. Also, I've had boils since I was diagnosed as a pre diabetic in college. They never appear on mucus membranes. Basically folliculitis. That's crazy to have negative test results up to this point.

Luckily, he got tired of my push back. I wish people would just be honest. There are meds to protect against HIV before intercourse so why lie.

I wrote this to my friend who shares the same condition: "You know, if the only reason I cry is because of a relationship or future failed ones, then maybe I just don't need it. They never last, always issues with trust, always on the mind. I'd rather be happy than guilt-ridden. Maybe this will just help me be a better me.".... I really need to focus on why I'm grieving and if I'm focusing on the right things. I can't control the uncontrollable but I can control me. I've never had the best luck with men and this definitely won't help but at least I can become more self aware and build myself up. My goal since my last move was to take time to improve upon myself. Wasn't expecting another blow to my already sickly self. I want to withdraw and just hide so bad but I have too many goals. This will obviously keep me on my toes when it comes to relationships because this will cause me to be even more particular and more cautious. I want something substantial and I can no longer accept crumbs or flings. I want to be with someone who will be as open about their status as I will be with them. Interestingly enough, when I was diagnosed, one last guy had reached out to me via an online dating site. I told him straight up about my condition and he was ok with it. I asked him about his status and according to him, he was clean. He's military and they get tested regularly. I asked for results and he seemed offended. I have mine at the ready to show anyone so it boggles my mind. Anyway, he just seemed pushy and I couldn't handle the idea of 1. Sleeping with a new man and the thought of passing it to someone who's never had it, 2. What if he's suffering from something more and not willing to disclose like HIV, and 3. he wanted commitment out the gate (no real dating, just hanging at my place due to the nature of his job - think guy patrolling civilian areas during terrorist threats) and I was just focused on my diagnosis. Any other time, I probably would've accepted at least for the sex. He was capable of picking up my now 229 lb. frame with ease ladies. But no......I didn't know him well enough and I'm no longer comfortable with that lifestyle. I just thought that if I were safe, I could have casual relationships while looking for the real thing. Oh well that was short lived. I guess I said that all to say is at the end of the day I have to be comfortable with me, my boundaries, and my ultimate goals. I can't be willing to accept all variants of attention; something that I've already started doing before the diagnosis. And I really have to get to know me well enough to know if relationships are really for me. Don't know yet. But I still have a life ahead of me to figure it out.

It should be standard. I learned years ago that I had to ask for the blood test so I make sure every time. I've moved several times within the last 12 or so months so when visiting the gym for help with an infection or just regular visit, I ask for it all. It definitely should be included. Waiting for an outbreak is cruel.

Hi, I'm new. I was diagnosed on November 20. I get tested regularly especially when dealing with a yeast and or bacterial infection and have always made it a point to ask for the blood test which detects herpes and the specific type. I was already stressed because my diabetes is out of whack and I was also experiencing boils as usual. Yeah, gross right. I was negative for everything in August. Met a guy that I really liked, hooked up a few times but then he somewhat disappeared. I thought he was out of the picture so hooked up with another guy against my better judgment based on some previous actions. At any rate, me and the earlier guy reconnected even though we were strained due to my hooking up with the one night stand (we weren't exclusive). Anyway, soon after all of this, horrible infection which lead to doctor visit, std panel including hsv test and here I am. Asymptomatic, afraid, alone, stressed, and worried that I'll never find love, never have sex, and somehow experience pain worst than any boil or yeast infection combined and it just bothers me that I can't get rid of it and I could physically cause harm to another. I realized that I had fallen in love with the first guy mentioned but we're now just friends. He's been kind even though saddened by it all. I'm more worried that he's going to not get tested because he doesn't"feel" anything. So I get depressed about that too. Then I'm angry at the last because he's ignoring me now since I notified him of my test results. Based on the timing and amount of antibodies (5.3, positive greater than 1.09) present, doc says I would've been infected in the last 2-4 weeks. So yeah, more than likely it's him and I have this vitriol reaction to my memories with him that I'm ashamed that I even agreed to have sex with him. Red flag eraser am I. So now, I'm alone in a new city.....i was hoping that I'd be able to settle and really cultivate relationships and love interests but now I just want to cry everyday. I know of 3 people who have lived with it for some time; only close to one but I have this feeling that she's spilling the beans before I can even deal with just being open to others outside of a romantic relationship. I just hope a cure comes during my lifetime. The thought of my labia erupting in sores is mind numbing....literally mind numbing. I just always thought I was so careful. I'm abstaining because I want to be in full clear for HIV. If that guy was shady about his identity and other things...what else was he hiding....