blistersistersUNITE

@hippyherpy you are hilarious and I'd definitely have sex with you despite your status. Rock on dude. Confidence is everything.

@WCSdancer2010 you are a sweetheart. Thank you

A little over a month ago, I seriously thought my life was over. I'm a young, attractive, intelligent female with everything going for her, and I get genital HSV1. To be honest, at the peak of college, I was having unprotected sex with multiple men, and never got ANY sort of STD. And I have unprotected sex with an older man, someone I knew and trusted, and I got herpes. But I wanted to share my recent experiences in disclosure. (I don't care to hear if you judge me for my sexual choices. I have no regrats. Not even one letter!) ;) I've now told 3 men that I have herpes, and I have never once been turned down. *side note: I got to know the people before so I knew they weren't total uneducated pieces of shit* The first I was WASTED and he was sweet and it was his birthday and he was super into me, and he brought me home, and despite my earlier plight of "I'm never having sex again," we started to fool around and I could tell where it was going. So I started to cry because I was like FUCKIN A here's this super nice guy, and I can't have sex. Well, I told him. And he looked at me and said something to the effect of "if it was at all possible, I think I like you more." He respected my honesty, and said it told him A lot about my character. He didn't mind at all. I was however sure to remind him I wasn't in a position to have a boyfriend, nor did I want one, so it doesn't make him a hero for sleeping with me. We're now just friends, but he was totally respectful. Another guy recently has been coming in to see me at work (I'm a bartender) and he is gorgeous. And of course after some time, we get together, la de da, he tries having sex and for the first few times I was like "no, no, I'm not ready." (Because, honestly, it can be a blessing to have H because you get to be choosy. And what a better excuse then WELL I HAVE HERPES for making a guy fuck off and leave you alone.) but finally it got to the point where we couldn't not have sex anymore. So I told him I said look I have this skin infection down that doesn't go away, here are the statistics, etc etc. and he still wanted me. And said "I don't think any less of you and I still think you're the most wonderful, beautiful woman ive ever met" (yikes, definitely don't want to date you either) but again, he was super kind and very respectful. I've even told my college sweetheart because we're still close and will probably marry someday. And he doesn't care either. "I don't think about it twice, I just love you and want you to be happy and healthy. That is all I care about." I think the moral of the story here is this: despite what you may think, or how you feel, YOU ARE WORTH IT, YOU DESERVE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. Having herpes changes your life yes, but it's not the end of the world. You are beautiful, and don't ever for a second question that, despite the fact that you have an STD. Stay strong my friends. Be extraordinary.

I have Genital HSV-1.... Is it possible to transmit to someone orally? Assuming they don't already have it?

@2legit2quit you're a sweet angel. Thank you so much. I hope your health improves!! That is a lot for one person to deal with. Thanks again for your kind words xoxo

Also... As far as the sexual identity thing goes... I thoroughly enjoy oral sex... Is genital to oral HSV-1 transmission possible? If so does anyone have any statistics?

@as89 thank you as well for your kind words. If he's the right one he won't mind... And if I don't feel comfortable discussing this with my ex then he certaintly isn't the right one anyway... Affording me the opportunity to dodge a bullet ;)

@2legit2quit: Thank you for your kind words. I too unfortunately suffer from major depression so these past few weeks have been especially hard. I find a lot of healing in physical activity as far as depression is concerned, particularly aerobic exercise. To answer your question, having H has altered my sexual identity. I was never particularly picky about who I chose to be with in the past nor was I overly concerned with safety...(I know this is a new infection because there are no igG antibodies... Only igM-- even then the reference range is in the indeterminate window, so I'm going in for another blood test sometime next week). I was young and lived my life with this view of "if I want to have sex I'm going to because I'll be damned if a woman has to condemn her sexuality to the views of society." My gynecologist once told me i should be having sex with whoever I want, whenever I want, all the time, SAFELY. And I did just that. All things considered, life will go on. I just fear men won't find me desirable after i disclose but I understand that's my own lack of self confidence shining through. You are right-- time to focus on me.

I am a 23 year old female. I graduated in May with a degree in microbiology and am hoping to pursue a career in medicine with a focus on infectious disease (the irony is sick and twisted really...) I came home from a mission trip about 3 weeks ago and was intimate with a guy I had been talking to for quite some time AND SURPRISE!!! he had no idea he was infected with genital HSV-1. Besides the feelings of rage and anger, I'm in total shock. I've spoken to him, he cried, apologized for ruining my life, etc. After all it is a skin infection. There are worse things in the world, especially as far as infectious diseases go.. That's what I have to keep telling myself. I've read enough to know HSV-1 Genital outbreaks are less frequent than HSV-2, and the chance of transmission with daily valtrex and additional protection is close to 1-2%. As life would have it, I recently met an incredible guy... Oh and now my ex wants to get back together (yikes, maybe if he had come around 3 weeks earlier things would be different). I can't help but think they both would find me disgusting and undesirable if I were to disclose (though I'm definitely not ready to be intimate, let alone share this with a potential partner). I know the facts... I studied both viruses extensively in college so I'm prepared to answer any questions. It's a shame the stigma is out there. I guess I'm super frustrated because I've always been careful with sexual partners and always gotten myself tested. I'm a good person and I have a lot to offer a partner. I want kids, I want to be married, I want a life. This whole situation has been quite a setback for me emotionally. But Maybe it's a blessing In disguise so I can have the opportunity to be a bit more choosy about who I spend my time with. I've read into how to disclose and it seems the longer you wait (to make sure the person is worth it) the better. But isn't it fair to be upfront and honest with them before they develop feelings so if they want out its easier for them? How do I even go about bringing up the conversation? Does anyone else have any advice for how to go about it? I'm not afraid of rejection..... I guess I just never thought this would be something I would have to do. Thanks for your time.