Gemini26

Hi @optimist :) That's exactly what I did. I stopped using dating apps and signed up to a site that I thought had a better reputation for dating. I don't think I'm quite ready for meeting anyone yet though. I somehow manage to convince myself that any guy I start talking to won't accept my diagnosis of herpes. It's the first thing that's on my mind and it puts me off from investing any time in even initiating a conversation. I think I need to give things a break just now until I'm in a better frame of mind. I've been throwing myself into work and exercise. It's encouraging to hear about that woman's success and yours. I guess I just need to find a way to disclose to others without getting upset about it.. I think that would freak most guys out!! But I think it's the fear of rejection that scares me the most. I wasn't very good at dealing with rejection prior to my diagnosis, so I'm not sure how I'll cope now. I can see myself avoiding getting too close to anyone, so that I don't have to disclose my diagnosis and face that problem. That's not what I want though. I want to be able to enjoy dating without getting myself tied up in knots :( It's also reassuring to know how common HSV actually is. Unfortunately I didn't know much about herpes until now, so I've had to educate myself. I try and reason that anyone who has ever kissed or had sex is at risk of contracting it so why should I feel so bad about myself for doing the same? It's hard though! But the support here has been great, it's nice to have an outlet having kept things bottled up for 2 months! I know that I'll come out of this feeling stronger and hopefully it will help build better relationships. But for now I'm just going to take each day as it comes. I will no doubt bombard you with messages or use this forum when I'm at the stage of dating again and freaking out about disclosure! Thank you for replying!! :) X

Hi everyone I'd just like to hear how people have coped since diagnosis? I tested positive for HSV 2 around two months ago, after having caught it from a guy I was in a relationship with - he was unaware that he had it. Our relationship didn't work out. I've been down and tearful most days. I feel like I'm carrying a secret. I used to be quite confident with dating, now I have no idea how to approach it. In the past I used online dating sites. I've tried going back to that but I feel like I'm being deceitful and have convinced myself that nobody will be interested, that I'm not good enough. My self esteem has plummeted. I've read all of the stats and understand how common herpes is, that it's part and parcel of being sexually active, but I imagine trying to explain that to someone who's not infected might be quite difficult. And then dealing with any negative judgement that comes along with that! Anyway, I just wondered how others have coped with this. I know the worst thing I can do is beat myself up and overthink things.. But I can't help myself sometimes. Talking helps, but I've only disclosed to close family members. Whilst they've been supportive, it would be nice to talk to others who are in the same position as me. Also.. If anyone is aware of any support groups within the UK, please let me know. I'd love to meet some people :)

Hi everyone, I'm a 26 year old female recently diagnosed with HSV 2. I'm finding it hard to accept my diagnosis, I struggle emotionally every day, feeling like my whole world has been turned upside down. I carry a lot of self blame and guilt, even though I caught it from a guy I was in a relationship with at the time - he was unaware that he had it. Our relationship didn't work out, and now I'm struggling to handle this as a single person. I've convinced myself that I'll never meet anyone, marry or have a family of my own, something that I would love to have one day. I'm successful in every other aspect of my life, I have a lot going for me, but I've always said that I would trade it all to have a family and be in a loving relationship. I feel like that's no longer an option. I feel very unsupported by the healthcare system in the UK (I'm from Scotland), I was advised in a 5 minute phone call that I had the virus and wasn't offered a follow up appointment to discuss treatment options. I've researched the condition myself and bought my own medication. I wasn't given the opportunity to talk to anyone about it. I feel very alone. I'd love to have someone to talk to, male or female, preferably both. Thank you.