Hello,
I'm fairly new here and just need some input. I've been dating someone for 3 months, and I told him about my status (HSV-1) before things got physical at all. He wasn't too familiar with the specifics about herpes, so I gave him the H Opportunity handout, which I think he found helpful. He's been really insistent so far on using condoms, and I started taking Valtrex every day. Last night, he initiated having sex without a condom. Then this morning he said "hey, can we have an uncomfortable conversation? How much more at risk am I since we did that last night?" I repeated the statistics, as to my knowledge with just daily suppressive therapy it's a 2% chance, and with condoms in addition it's a 1% chance (is this correct?) He said it felt amazing, and he just thought it wasn't fair to not ever experience being with me with no boundaries. But then he also said "obviously, we can't do that all the time" and said it was his fault it happened. I feel like he's very on the fence about this, and I'm trying to be understanding because I know he's taking a risk, but I don't know how that would work moving forward. How am I to know how often/when he is ok with doing it without a condom? Is it wrong that I kind of feel like all or nothing? I just wish I felt accepted for who I am completely. I am just very confused and would like some insight. How can I talk to him about this? I felt kind of hurt when he said obviously we can't do it all the time.