I take valacyclovir 500 mg although I tried to get my doctor to give me 1000 mg but he said I don't need that much. I also take Lysine, Zinc and Coconut Oil pills... I didn't think they were working so I stopped taking them for awhile and BOOM an OB! Believe me I know exactly how you feel... My biggest fear is passing it to my boyfriend. I was embarrassed to tell him about my recent OB but he is understanding while I'm over here stressing out more trying to make sure it doesn't spread. You will have sex again, you're still valuable please don't ever think otherwise :)
Honestly I thought about hiring a lawyer to see if I could get my ex's medical records and sue him for not disclosing but I didn't pursue it out of fear for others finding out. He denied having it and claimed he was going to get tested but instead he disappeared and blocked my number. So many times I wish I could rewind time but now I look at this almost as a blessing in disguise.... a select few know and they still love me, I found this forum with wonderful, helpful people and it removed a lot of stress from my life believe it or not... I just hate the constant reminder of my mistake.
Things will get better for you! Does your suppressants help? One thing that helped me the most was personally talking to someone who lives with it. She's married and just had a baby, her husband doesn't have it and they are on cloud 9. That let me know I could still find love and I did. Don't give up PatAnn! The best has yet to come