nomorefear

I recently read an article where the author had H. The theme of the article was that she found a silver lining in her herpes, in that she was able to see pretty quickly the character and level of acceptance of the men she was dating. The judgmental people get weeded out pretty quickly.

So I had been dating a man for a couple of weeks. It was going very well, and it was apparent that I needed to disclose pretty soon, given the pace he going and the direction he was headed. I told him about being ghsv1 positive, gave him all the info I had, and let him think about it. We went from (clothes on) hot and heavy to "let's be friends" faster than you could say "friend zoned." We are completely compatible in every other way. It seems the deal breaker is that he prefers giving oral to having intercourse. He says he likes sex, but prefers to give oral. I told him about dental dams, and gave him all kinds of info, but he says that he's afraid that it would just bother him too much, he'd become resentful (at what I'm not entirely sure) and we'd just end up breaking up anyway, so why start something to begin with? The initial breakup was a month ago, and we really have stayed friends, but it was just yesterday that we really leveled with each other (me-"why can't we try?" him-"oral..."). Knowing him for the short time that I have, and talking to him about our lives and getting deep, I know that he's got some issues about being rejected himself, so I think that somewhere he may be using this as a subconscious shield to prevent his own rejection. I've closed the book on any romantic possibilities between us because 1. I want to respect his decision, 2. He probably has more issues that need to be worked out before he can commit to a romantic relationship, 3. I really do like him as a person and I value his friendship very much. I would rather keep him as a friend than toss aside a failed short term relationship. I did a lot of crying. We're still very much friends. It just hurts that he can't see past the negatives. I'm hoping that this is not typical of my dating experiences. I have a lot of love to give, I'm relatively young (45 next week), and I want to find someone to share my life with. Any input, suggestions, and encouragement would be appreciated. Thank you.

I'm looking for a buddy: - male/female does not matter, though both would be great. I'm female, would love the male perspective on matters, dating advice, disclosure, etc. - I'm in Michigan, but through the magic of the interwebs, I can be ANYWHERE! *insert Spongebob "It's Magic" gif here* - Support needed. Support given when I learn how to drive this bus, as it were. A little about me, Recently divorced (June 2016), 1 partner (ex-husband), contracted GHSV1 through him when we were dating. He claimed to be STD free, though he said "sometimes I get this spot on my dick, but the doctor says it's nothing." As a 27 year old virgin, I tended to still believe bullshit and about 4 months later, his story changed to "Oh, I guess it was something after all." I stayed with him, got married, and dealt with it, having no shame, because "Hey, we love each other. We're married. No stigma here!" He divorced me after 13 of marriage, 16 years together total. He just didn't want to be married anymore. Not looking for a pity party; just giving background on the "why's and how's". I'm really better off without him as a life partner (got 7 more years until the youngest is 18. Until then I still have to co-parent) because believe it or not, this was not the worst he's done. But that's not for here. You must charge obscene amounts of money for a 50 minute hour and ask me about my mother in a heavy German accent to hear the rest of the story. I would like to get back out and date. I'm still relatively young. As I told one friend, life is good by myself. It'd be better with someone else. I just need to get over the feeling that my life is ruined for any romantic relationships. Despite the jokes and the otherwise positive attitude, I can't help feeling that it is. Thanks for reading. Good luck and God bless.

I also have GHSV1. It is mild, but shows up more than once a year, for sure, at least if I'm not on suppressive therapy. Defiantly during times of stress.