BoxerGirl

@HikingGirl... thanks for the advice. I will look into shame resilience classes near me! :-)

@ scared.... I feel the same way. It's very discouraging at times and like "what did I do to deserve this". I get it.

I'm a 32 y/o Female from MA. @ Nik... first outbreak is typically the worst and lasts the longest :-( Hang in there though... we're all here for you!!

I appreciate all the feedback. Open communication is how we learn... that's why I joined this forum so I could meet people who have also experienced this disease and are passing on their knowledge. I will certainly disclose this in the future now that I know it can be transmitted regardless of whether you are having an active outbreak or not. Any advice on how to approach that conversation??? P.S. Lollyann76 you are an eloquent speaker and have a way with words... just wanted to tell you that :)

In all honesty it was completely unintentional. I'm still learning about this disease and simply trying to make it right in any way that I can. I have learned things from this website for example and from people sharing their experience that I otherwise wouldn't have known. Just trying to be better than yesterday by taking information forward and learning from my mistakes.

We discussed it following sex because he has begun showing symptoms... so now I fear I have unintentionally transmitted it to him because my doctor told me "no outbreak- no problem" so I honestly believed as long as I wasn't having an active outbreak (I've been on the valtrex for like 2 years now) that it wouldn't spread. So now of course I don't know what to say or how to approach a follow up conversation ... or if he will ever speak to me again for that matter... This isn't exactly an easy topic to have a rational conversation about. I don't know what to do :*(

I had been in a 5 year monogamous relationship with my boyfriend and before we consented to having sex we both got STD tested so we would know what eachother had (if anything). Our results came back that neither had any STDS. That relationship came to an end. Then I met my next partner who in the heat of the moment, had unprotected sex. Immediately after I began noticing symptoms like the fluid filled vesicles around my genital area and it was extremely painful and persisted for several months. We then went to our doctors and got tested... my results were positive for Herpes.... his were negative. How could this be? I believe he had a false negative because he wasn't having an active outbreak at the time like I was. That relationship also came to an end. (I should mention that doctors had put me on valtrex and I've been on it now for about 2 years and haven't had a single outbreak since. I was also told by my doctor that unless I'm having an ACTIVE outbreak that I could not transmit this disease to my partner.... misinformed?) Now I met a very nice guy that I am crazy about and promised myself I would do things "right" this time around, we would get bloodwork done and see eachpthers results and have the "std discussion" prior to having sex.... nothing ever goes according to plan. Again I found myself in the heat of the moment and things went extremely fast and we had unprotected sex. Now he is having symptoms on his genital area, but I am not. Have I definitely given him Herpes ... or could this just be his body's reaction to having a new partner after being with the same girl for nearly 10 years?? I'm horrified at the thought of giving someone this disease and obviously I'm the last person in the world right now that he wants anything to do with. I don't know how things will progress with us... but does anyone have any advice? I care a lot about him and see major potential but fear after this episode he isn't going to want anything to do with me. Advice please........