Mom2boys

@tt88 I am so inspired by your story! I'm so glad you are posting updates as well! I'm so incredibly happy for you and this is incredibly inspiring to me and guides me in the right direction. Keep us updated!

I am not this stupid. I had a date with a guy I've known for awhile. We went out to a bar for a friends birthday and I was DD. He didn't drink that much and I drive him home and we were messing around a bit. I told him I was putting him to bed (no pun was intended) and leaving for the night. He wasn't having it (no he did not rape me) he was just very... persuasive. Before it got too heavy I said " I can't do this with you right now. I have Herpes and I want you to take a couple days to think on that before we move forward". Now i had never been out drinking with him before so I guess I didn't know how he would normally be if he was wasted but he did not seem to be out of it or super drunk or anything. He said he knew what it was and the risks and he accepted that. He wore a condom but we ended up taking it off ( yes stupid me I know). Later I tucked his ass in bed and headed home. The next day he texted me in the morning and said he was so wasted he night before and didn't remember much after leaving the bar, including me telling him. He knew we had sex but didn't remember it. So I had to tell him the morning after and I apologized up and down. I should have left period! We talked about it a little more, I told him to research it and see how he feels about us continuing to see each other but I would understand if he didn't want to. Which I do, I get it. We talked most of the evening and I went by this morning since I was out by his house and he invited me over. We watched a movie and just laid down. I asked him if he had thought about it and all he said was he had researched it and "it's not a good thing to have". I gave him some stats and told him to let me know how he felt. We could keep seeing each other without sex for a while which I think is a good idea anyways and left. So now is the waiting game and waiting for rejection and it's awful! So I guess I'm wanting to know if anyone else had had a similar experience and how it was handled. I'm on 4 months out from my first OB and on daily antivirals.

Update; I'm on week 4 since my first OB. Itching has subsided a lot but I still get moments where I literally have to drop everything to itch my butt. I know it's so not appropriate in the middle of work. I also still have these "crawling over my skin" feeling down there once in a while. But overall everything has healed up. I do continue to have some shooting pains in my pelvis and buttocks. My OB agreed to the year rx of Valtrex and she was really comforting with some of the statistics of it all. I appreciate everyone's advice. This site has become a life line for me.

@Eleni_Nicole my sores lasted almost two weeks. It was awful! So painful, horribly uncomfortable especially since I sit all day for my job. I wore pads because of the blisters leaking and eventually bleeding. I ended up using Boudreaux Butt Paste (had kids with diaper rash) and it was a total life saver! I started Valtrex a week in and I think I noticed an improvement after about 3-4 days. I also got a tea tree I'll mixture from a natural foods store that was specifically for herpetic pain which also helped. It still hurts when I have a BM but no sores. Just very itchy and still a bit tender. My labia is swollen and tender at times also. I get tingling sensation over the area which is also uncomfortable or sharp pricks or shooting pain in my pelvis or buttocks. Now I have no sores but I still have all the other issues. @Cheezit I haven't tried Benadryl so I'll do that next. I did go get llysine, vit c caps and echinacea since I've read on many forums these help also. I'm also getting a year prescription just to be safe and will take daily meds for a year then only for OBs.

I was diagnosed 10 days ago with hsv2 and my initial OB was pretty rough. My sores have healed and I finished my 10 days of Valtrex but the itching is awful!! It literally feels like little bugs crawling over my skin and I get little zings of shooting sensations. It's the most awkward wierd, uncomfortable feeling ever. How long will this last? Is it just from being new skin or is it part of the virus? I'm using tea tree mixture from a natural food store for herpetic pains to ease it but it's driving me insane and I'm super insecure about it now. Please any advice or tips will be welcome!! Itchy butt is so not fun!

@HikingGirl I haven't had sex with my ex husband since early December before I asked for the divorce so immpoaitive it's from my current partner. Luckily he was really understanding and calm when I told him. He doesn't have any current sores so he will be going to get a blood test next week. I'm learning a lot through this site and I've accepted it for what it is. Thank you for all your advice! Now it's learning to deal with the aches and pains that come along with it.

I'm experiencing the same with the leg pain. I was just diagnosed after a 13 year marriage that I left (divorce) and currently have a partner for 5 months then BAM it happened. I did get the blisters and sores. I also had vaginosis at the same time as my H diagnosis. My pain is in my buttocks, back of the legs and shooting down the right leg. I have the same concern of how long this will last.

I was diagnosed Monday but the symptoms and sores were pretty obvious. I just came out of a 13 year marriage and finishing the divorce when I started seeing someone. We have been intimate all of 4 times and the last time I had sores only a couple days later. He was out of town during the beggining of my first OB and I didn't want to aay anything until I knew for sure. I was terrified. Once I grieved over the fact that I had it, being a mother and feeling horrible about myself I finally had to talk to him. I asked him if he had slept with anyone else but me, even in between and he said no. He didn't want to sleep with anyone else and he liked what we had. Then I told him ... I had tested positive for HSVS2 and believed unfortunately I may have gotten it from him. But I could have been a carrier all along. He took a breathe than said "okay well it's okay babe, I'll get tested and we will figure it out, it will be okay".... seriously! I'm terrified and in pain and he just completely calmed me in a few seconds. Before he slept with me he was in an abstinent relationship with a catholic girl who was very religious and waiting til marriage. Before that it had been a year or so. I don't know if those girls may have given it to him but it doesn't really matter at this point does it? So now comes the second guessing. Did he know and just not tell me? Or did he truly have no idea and is just that calm about it? He's coming home this weekend and still wants to see me and spend the weekend together. It brings hope but then fear of later rejection. Anyone else have a similar story? Advice?

I was just diagnosed Monday and started Valtrex immediately. I am in my second week of my first OB. I have learned that Boudreaux butt cream works amazingly well on the sores and helps to dry it out and reduce itching and pain. Spain salt baths are a life saver also. My biggest concern is the shooting pains down my right groom, hip and buttocks. Also the backs of my legs and butt area is just achy. Is this normal? Is it nerve pain and what else can be done to help it? I'm taking 800mg ibuprofen three times a day and alternating Tylenol. Im hoping it doesn't last four weeks and looking forward to moving on with my life. This site has already helped me so much in these first few days. I will listen to any advice at this point.

Wow! I just found out I have it and that was my first thought was I will never have a love life again. This makes me feel so much better. I'm still terrified about telling the guy that I think gave it to me and the rejection and anger I will get but the more I read on here the better I feel. Thank you so much for sharing your strength!

im new to the herpes situation so I can't comment on that. But I've had a lot of experience in abusive relationships and this is exactly what this is. He is verbally and mentally abusing you to control and manipulate you to be passive and submissive to him. By putting you down and making you insecure and using your diagnosis against you he has molded you to his liking. He refuses to get tested lowly because that gives someone else control. By giving him scientific fact over his own decision and opinion. You are better than that- better than him and deserve to be happy and not full of shame or guilt. Please continue therapy and I hope one day you will be able to move forward and away from that relationship.

How do you start this? Hi I'm 32, going through a divorce from a 13 year marriage and have 2 boys ages 8 & 10. I was faithful as was he for all those years until after I requested my divorce about 6 months ago. I slept with someone I trusted completely. Now I'm not naive enough to believe that a relationship with said person was going to work but a good friendship was there. I was more worried about getting pregnant at my age than an STD was the last thing on my mind and again I had full trust in him. About ten days ago we had a night in and a couple days later I noticed three hard bumps beside my anus along with some vaginal discharge. Now I get sore in my hips normally after sex but my entire body hurt. Every joint, my legs and my back. It wasn't that crazy, it was pretty tame but I had baseball games and kids to take care of so I chalked it up to the night before and took some Advil. Then the bumps, I thought it was razor burn. A few days later there were several all over my anal area and taint. Well crap those are some big hemorrhoids! Then the blistering and pain started. That's when i started to freak out. I called my OBGYN thinking I had vaginosis and some rash so she started me on an antibiotic I'd had before. Saturday night I looked and I knew something else was wrong. I immediately texted my bff from childhood that contracted herpes when we were teenagers. Shes lived with it for 15 years and talked me through what to look for. I got into my pcp on Monday and she did some swabs and took blood to check for everything. I just wanted a point blank yes or no. She said it looks similar but can't confirm until the tests are in. She started me on Valtrex twice a day for ten days. I'm still waiting on the official results and I am still holding out hope this is something else but in my heart I know. So now comes the anger, guilt, disgust and shame. Have I had this for over a decade from my whoring teen years?! Did HE give this to me without knowing he had it? Does he know he has it?! I haven't told him yet- we don't talk for days or weeks at a time and he was raised Mormon and home schooled so he is kind of ignorant to some things. I'm a 32 year old mother of two boys who is already dealing with the extreme stress of a divorce that I asked for after years of sexual abuse and unhappiness with my husband. After all that I get herpes from one person?! How do I tell him? I can't tell my ex husband- he will use anything against me. Do I tell my children someday?! I hurt inside and out, in my mind and in my heart but I have to get over it. Pull up my mom panties, cover my pain as I always have and put on that "I'm doing great" smile. I know this long but I don't really have anyone to talk to and googling is a BAD IDEA! So I found this group and I know from being in a sexual abuse victim group that these help a lot. Any advice on how to manage the discomfort will help. And good vibes, love and light sent my way would be appreciated.