I thank you for your response and am glad that you have an amazing person in your life. I wish I could say the same but I can't. For me I will have to continue turning down women and pushing people away. I will be alone yes but if I am alone I cant hurt anyone. It sucks but that's the way it has to be for me. I didn't have much to offer before this disease but now I know I have nothing to offer. 4%-8% chance is to great for me to risk or for me to ask someone else to risk. God why did this happen I have nothing to live for.