lara93

Hi! Thanks so much for your reply and sharing your experience. I hope the suppressive antivirals work for you :) . If not, you have the option of switching pills, as you say, so that sounds positive! I have tried both suppressive and episodic and acyclovir seemed to do absolutely nothing for me, even though I was on a high dose (perhaps switching to valtrex would be a good thing to try). My body usually fights it quite well for 3 weeks of the month and if I abstain from alcohol, I never get an OB other than during the week before my period, so I’m almost certain it is a hormone thing. As for birth control, I took the pill for many years but stopped taking after a certain age on the advice of my doctor. That’s why I’m wondering if there are any alternative therapies for limiting/preventing hormonal OBS, because I can’t rely on a hormonal contraceptive OR acyclovir apparently... Good luck with the test results :)

Hi ARPTT0576. I’m sorry, it sounds like you are having a really tough time. I think you were right to tell your boyfriend straight away. He might go away, do his own research and come back to you and apologise for reacting that way. Alternatively, he might be one of the minority of people who just can’t get over the stigma and will choose ignorance over fact. If so, you really are better off finding someone more understanding. As for your sister, that’s quite a harsh statement for her to make. I hope that just because it’s your sister who said it, you don’t think there is any truth in that. It’s hard because you often value your loved one’s opinions but they aren’t always right! Plus, they wont have read the amount of information about it that you have, so they wont have a realistic view on it all. Is your sister married? I bet she hasn’t considered this: if her husband gets cold sores, there’s a chance he could have already infected/could infect her with herpes on her mouth or even genitally. How would she feel then? There’s a myth that everyone with herpes sleeps around but if you can explain to her that even monogamous people who have only ever had one partner can be infected, that might change her perspective. It’s possible she already has it, as most people have some form of the virus by the end of their lives. Even if she's never had an outbreak, it's a possibility. In spite of all that, it sounds as if you are doing so well with everything – much better than I was doing at this stage! You’ve done research and most importantly, you’ve had the talk with your boyfriend. That’s huge, and you should give yourself credit for that :) Maybe you could focus on yourself for a bit? If you can’t rely on your partner or sister right now, do things for yourself that will make you feel good e.g. hang out with friends, exercise, pick up a new hobby. That's one of the more positive things about all of this: a herpes diagnosis is great motivation for you to be the most positive and healthiest version of yourself, and to eliminate unnecessary stress and negative people from your life :)

Hi ARPTT0576. My story is quite similar to yours in many ways so I thought I’d reply :) First of all, it’s completely normal to have the feelings you are having. It’s a shock to anyone and I had a similar experience to you with the gynaecologist. I felt like my life had just ended and I had all the same feelings of guilt, self-loathing, dirtiness. I cried constantly and like you, I thought I was going to have a life of loneliness ahead.The medical centre didn’t give me ANY advice as to how to deal with it or what I should expect, just to tell my partner. I was also in a serious relationship when I found out. If you read people’s stories on here, a lot of people are in serious relationships when they find out and they have always practised safe sex, so it just goes to show that a lot of the stigma surrounding herpes isn’t true e.g. the idea that only people who sleep around get it- NOT true! Life just isn’t fair sometimes. It helped me to arm myself with the facts before I told my boyfriend. Obviously you are going to feel upset but if you do some research about it, you’ll see that a) it doesn't have to be the life of loneliness you think it is and b) it will help you be less emotional and more realistic when you have the chat with your boyfriend. Do you have HSV1 or HSV2? For example, with HSV1, most people never even notice their first outbreak and for those that do, most people will rarely get recurrences. A really useful website is the Herpes Virus Association: https://herpes.org.uk/ I think they even have a helpline so you could call them and I’m sure they could give you some information and talk through your worries and feelings. I can only speak from experience but I had the same idea as you: I really thought my boyfriend would break up with me, not because he didn’t love me but because he is also a massive hypochondriac. He said any sexual infection would be his absolute worst nightmare, so I was dreading telling him. We were in different places at the time so we couldn’t even have a face-to-face discussion. I tried not to get upset and I told him the facts that I’d found out about what to expect. He was shocked at first but he said he loved me and that a little virus wasn’t going to break us up (remember, he’s a massive hypochondriac and he chose our relationship over his fear of getting ill himself - the risk of this happening, by the way, is very small, especially if you use protection). I can’t tell you how things will go with your boyfriend but I’m sure that if he really loves you, he will accept it. Herpes doesn't define you, it's just an unfortunate thing that's happened to you and if he can't get past that then he didn't deserve you in the first place. 8 months in, my boyfriend and I are still together. I’ve been unlucky enough to have tiny outbreaks every month (one or two spots which disappear in a few days). I'm still working out what triggers them by eliminating certain things from my diet and it's certainly a journey. The good news is that outbreaks normally decrease over time. Some months I do get upset because I’m only human but I’m always so surprised at how laid back my boyfriend is about it. He just sees it for what it is: a minor skin infection. That’s when you realise that all the negative emotions are all in your head. Can you imagine someone who gets cold sores on their mouth getting so upset about it and feeling ashamed and dirty? They wouldn't. Genital herpes is just a cold sore but in a different place. As with a lot of things in life, a herpes diagnosis what you make it. Think of it as a chance to get super healthy, get loads of sleep, minimise stress and stop yourself getting run down (hence increasing your immune system and I know it seems tough now and believe me, I was exactly where you were 8 months ago, but stay strong, and just know that you are not alone on here. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to :)

That's good to hear. I'm glad you've found something that works for you :) I'm sure lots of women must go through this. It's just a shame that there doesn't seem to be much medical information on how to deal with hormonal OBs other than taking valtrex/acyclovir. Acyclovir has done nothing for me in the past so it feels frustrating to have no control over my OBs.

I hadn't heard of that or thought of that actually, so I will try that this month and see if it helps. Thanks!

Yes, perhaps that's worth a try. I think the problem is that I never get the 'warning signs' so by the time I start the meds, the virus is already active (I've read that they are most effective when you take them within the first few hours of symptoms). Thanks very much for your advice. I hope so too!

Hi Optimist. Thanks for your reply :) I'm actually not on hormonal birth control at all so it can't be that. I also tried suppressive therapy for 1 month, and suppressive therapy in the 10 days before my period: I still had OBs at the same frequency and they didn't heal any more quickly than without the antivirals... very frustrating! So the conclusion I've arrived at is that alcohol and hormones are my triggers. I can control my alcohol intake but I just don't know if I can even do anything to prevent hormone-induced OBS.Does your friend take any supplements to help control her OB during her periods, or has she learned to manage them better somehow? P.S. No, he has actually never had a cold sore so as far as we're both aware, he doesn't have HSV1 (although always a possibility, as you say).

Hi everyone, I was diagnosed with GSHV1 7 months ago, although I suspect my first OB was 8 months ago. I wasn’t given much help or advice from the medical centre I used, they just told me it was a positive result, to tell my partner and not to worry?! Consequently I’ve had to research it on my own, with the help of forums like this and medical websites. What is really confusing me is the number of OBs I’m getting. I’ve had 10 in the past 7 months. Each time I never get the pain or burning that people talk about. I usually get one or two tiny spots which sometimes bleed, then blister over in a few days. I don’t get any of the warning signs, like feeling fluey or feeling a tingling feeling up my leg. I’ve recently cut out alcohol and that has reduced the number of OBs from 1.5 to 1 per month, so I feel positive that I’ve identified alcohol as an aggravating factor. I also take 1000mg vitamin C, 25g zinc, 1000mg lysine and sometimes a multi vitamin if I’m feeling run down. I’m also on thyroxine for hypothyroidism (100mg/day). I suspect the OBs are linked to my menstrual cycle as they usually occur at the same time each month (1 week before my period). I do suffer from quite severe PMS (feeling very down and irritable, very sore breasts, extreme fatigue) so perhaps it is linked to this. I have read that periods can bring on herpes outbreaks, but so far I haven’t found any information about whether anything can be done about this. Has anyone had a similar problem? Someone on here mentioned Chinese medicine but didn’t mention what that involved. I’m really desperate to try and get these OBs under control. I didn’t expect that they would be so frequent, given that the recurrence stats for GHSV1 are so optimistic. My main concern is passing it onto my boyfriend. We are always careful but it’s very hard to manage when I get none of the warning signs, and sometimes the 'spots' are so small that they have almost healed over by the time I notice them, so I could be putting my boyfriend at risk in the days prior to finding them. Any advice would be SO appreciated. I’m still quite new to this and my biggest hurdle has been getting over the emotional strain of it. I fully accept it now and I try not to let it get me down. Forums like this are so brilliant and reading other people's stories gives me so much strength. I just want to be able to know how to manage my trigger so that I have a little control over it. Thank you :)