artgal101

@Jack101 Thank you so much for all your input. I just wanted to updated you on my new test results. I had the immuno blot (western blot test) done. I learned I only have HSV1. Which means the exposure I had before I met the Dr with herpes to HSV2 was in fact a false positive. I only have HSV1 from the ex. I'm slowing moving on from the whole process and learning how to tell others.

first test was September 2015, second was September 2017. The infection occurred December 2015. There were blood tests. I don't know much more because the lab only called me. I'd have to get them to print my results. The worst part is I know with 100% certainty (because he admitted it to me after my full blown outbreak) that he absolutely knew he had it. He had an ex that had it 7 years before and he got bumps on his penis after unprotected sex with her and then she admitted to him that she had these bumps before she met him that she wasn’t sure what they were. So instead of him going to get tested he made her go and get a blood test which showed the results. In the meantime he had doctors under the table write prescriptions for him until he was able to write a prescriptions for himself so that he never had to have a record of his tests. I know how unbelievable that story sounds but I swear this is exactly how it happened. Like I said it really was the worst relationship I was ever in. He was an alcoholic and I finally ended it a year and a half later after he began to make threats of physical violence towards me. I think he was just being selfish because frankly he was very superficial. I was the most attractive person he had ever been with (he often told me this) and I don’t think he loved me for me, he love me for how I made him feel about himself. He was only interested in possessing me. Had this whole experience not occurred I likely would've ended things with him 2 months in, but the whole situation really messed with my sense of self worth. It's taken me a very long time to openly talk about this whole experience because of how violating it was. I feel very branded by what he did to me because I keep getting rejected and I have no ownership of what is happened because he absolutely knew what he was supposed to do in this situation and he made a conscious choice not to do it. On top of that he also admitted to me that before him and I became physical he wasn’t sure what to tell me and how to disclose, so he asked one of his broski doctor friends what to say, and his friend told him to tell me that he had only been exposed to it. Some of my friends want me to sue, frankly I have absolutely no interest in that. I don't want his money, and I certainly never want to be in his presence ever again. The damage is done. I just want to move on. But I am very grateful that I have this community to talk things out with. It really has been helpful.

@Jack101 I understand what you’re saying. And I understand I had herpes but I did not have visible outbreaks. My test was done 4 months before I met him. I tested positive for HSV2 and the levels were at .5, and I was negative for HSV1. He was the first person I was with after that test. After my relationship with him ended my test results were the following. HSV1 13.2 and HSV2 1.65. However before I met him I had absolutely no history of visual outbreaks in any capacity. Upon having unprotected sex with him for the first time, six days later I had a full blown out break and when I say full blown I mean I had 20 to 30 weeping sores all over my genital region. That had never happened before. (and no I did not go to the doctor after he admitted to me what he did to get cultures of the sores. Frankly I felt violated, I just let the sores heal and took his valtrex that he prescribed for himself because I wasn't ready to verbalize to anyone what he did to me) Two days after we had unprotected sex he had an outbreak right beneath the head of his penis. I eventually learned that that was where his reoccurring sore was. Initially I thought we weren't sure which end we got it from then several days after my outbreak began he admitted he lied to me when he said he had never had problems with sores. So what I am certain of is that he gave me a strain of whatever he had and did not disclose that he knew he had visible outbreaks. I understand that I was exposed to herpes and that means that I had it but it also meant that I was not having active outbreak’s. He was admitting to me that I likely developed the sores because of an issue he had that he did not disclose before we had unprotected sex. Had he been sincere with his condition, I would've assessed the situation accordingly with what I was comfortable with. Which would've been protected sex, unless I eventually married him. But when someone lies about reoccurring sores, you can't trust them to even be sincere about when they're having outbreaks. Unfortunately, based on his personality, I can't say he didn't deliberately know something was about to happen, and the night that it happened we were in candlelight so I had no way of clearly seeing anything wrong. What he explained to me before we had unprotected sex was that he had been exposed to herpes and did not have visible outbreaks. Which he admitted was a lie later on when he had me at a point of disadvantage. He also admitted to me when we were together that he will not get a test done, because he doesn't want a record of his results. Hope that makes things a bit more coherent.

@RegularGuy Thank you so much for all your suggestions and positivity. The main thing I was trying to get feedback on was how I handle the dating aspect and its very reassuring to know I'm handling it well :)

Let me start with the best part of the story. I got herpes from a doctor. I was in a committed relationship with a medical doctor who knowingly had reoccurring herpes outbreaks on his penis for 7 years before we ever dated and lied to me. He told me he had only been exposed to it and did not have outbreaks. I myself had been tested before we dated and I had shown low levels of exposure as well to simplex 2 and I know definitively that I did not have outbreaks. I had disclosed all of this info to him before we had sex. He waited until after I had a full-blown outbreak to admit to me what he had done. That was by far the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. I eventually ended it after I told a friend what he had done. I’m 31 years old never married no children and I feel in many ways like I’ll never get that opportunity. I’m currently dating a bunch of people at once. I'm an attractive woman so basically what I do is talk to several guys from a dating app that I’m interested in meeting. I had tried to date one at a time and I keep getting rejected so now what I do is I date several people at once and each time one rejects me I still have the others and that makes it less painful. I don’t have sex without them knowing. I never want anyone feeling the way I felt. They will always know. I am on a daily suppressant. I’m fairly certain (based on the blood test I had done) that it was Simplex 1 he gave me in the genital region. But I have not been able to get a good culture from my genitals to prove that. I would like any support or positive comments on how to tell people. I’ve only had told two people who both rejected me and it was via text. To be frank the reason I told him via text was because I expected them to not be OK with it and I didn’t even feel like talking about it in person. I just found for myself that it’s better not to be super committed to these people and to just have an accumulation of people that I’m talking. Now if one of them does accept me for having this then I will back the others off.