@Jack101
I understand what you’re saying. And I understand I had herpes but I did not have visible outbreaks. My test was done 4 months before I met him. I tested positive for HSV2 and the levels were at .5, and I was negative for HSV1. He was the first person I was with after that test. After my relationship with him ended my test results were the following. HSV1 13.2 and HSV2 1.65.
However before I met him I had absolutely no history of visual outbreaks in any capacity. Upon having unprotected sex with him for the first time, six days later I had a full blown out break and when I say full blown I mean I had 20 to 30 weeping sores all over my genital region. That had never happened before. (and no I did not go to the doctor after he admitted to me what he did to get cultures of the sores. Frankly I felt violated, I just let the sores heal and took his valtrex that he prescribed for himself because I wasn't ready to verbalize to anyone what he did to me) Two days after we had unprotected sex he had an outbreak right beneath the head of his penis. I eventually learned that that was where his reoccurring sore was. Initially I thought we weren't sure which end we got it from then several days after my outbreak began he admitted he lied to me when he said he had never had problems with sores.
So what I am certain of is that he gave me a strain of whatever he had and did not disclose that he knew he had visible outbreaks. I understand that I was exposed to herpes and that means that I had it but it also meant that I was not having active outbreak’s. He was admitting to me that I likely developed the sores because of an issue he had that he did not disclose before we had unprotected sex. Had he been sincere with his condition, I would've assessed the situation accordingly with what I was comfortable with. Which would've been protected sex, unless I eventually married him. But when someone lies about reoccurring sores, you can't trust them to even be sincere about when they're having outbreaks. Unfortunately, based on his personality, I can't say he didn't deliberately know something was about to happen, and the night that it happened we were in candlelight so I had no way of clearly seeing anything wrong.
What he explained to me before we had unprotected sex was that he had been exposed to herpes and did not have visible outbreaks. Which he admitted was a lie later on when he had me at a point of disadvantage. He also admitted to me when we were together that he will not get a test done, because he doesn't want a record of his results. Hope that makes things a bit more coherent.