Feelingconflicted

any advice on what to do here? :/

It's hard, I know... Try to find a friend you can confide in. I hid my condition for a long time, but it really helps to talk it out.

I just started at a new school, and met this guy I really like. After hanging out in groups several times, we ended up being the last two left at the bar the other night. We were both really drunk, and ended up going back to his place. I tried to start disclosing, but I think I made him nervous with the tone I was talking in and he stopped me before I could say it... The night is pretty blurry but I'm about 99% sure I didn't tell him. We didn't have sex, but did other things. I feel SUPER guilty. He's my date to a big event this coming weekend and I know I have to tell him, but I don't want to ruin it... Ugh I wish I could just be a normal person that doesn't have to deal with this.

I'm in the same place. I just met someone I liked a lot and disclosed. He said he had to think about it but hasn't texted me in a week. Soooo I'm pretty sure he's not interested. I won't sugar coat it, this is hard. But I've also had several guys who didn't care at all. I know it's hard but I think we just need to keep putting ourselves out there. I really don't know what I would do if I was in his position but I'm hoping the next guy works out! It is a bummer though, and I feel like I have to try even harder on a date to make the person like me so they won't run when I disclose. Hopefully it gets easier. But know you're not alone. 1/5, right?

The first two people I disclosed to still wanted to date me after i disclosed and in fact I was the one who ended things with them. Just had my first rejection and wow it hurts. I never had a hard time with guys before getting the virus, and it's super frustrating that I now have what feels like a huge drawback. I feel really scared to get close to anyone because I'm so scared of disclosing and being rejected again. But I'm also super lonely because I feel like I'm isolating myself. I never get outbreaks and I'm on suppression so it doesn't feel like I have anything. But it's just wreaking havoc on me mentally. I often try to tell myself that this is a good thing, and that I'll end up with someone who is super understanding because of it. But realistically I just don't know if that's true :/ Even my best friend doesn't know I have the virus. I love her so much and I know she loves me too, but the other day she joked about how the only people who can't find a husband are girls with std's and I legitimately almost started crying. Because if even my best friend thinks this way, what are my chances with anyone else?

Ok so I'll be honest. I haven't always been brave enough to disclose in the past. I take daily valtrex and never get outbreaks so I convinced myself there was no risk to the other person and no need to disclose. However, I now realize this was just an excuse I made to avoid having the talk. I was afraid of being rejected and still struggle with self-confidence at times. I've disclosed to the last few people I've dated. It is still scary, but I know I have to do it and I've never been flat-out rejected when I do, so it seems I was worrying over something I really didn't need to. I find I'm now more selective with who I date because I know I'll have to tell them my most vulnerable secret. I'm not going to tell just anyone, so naturally I make sure I really like someone before disclosing and sleeping with them now. The first date I went on the other night ended up in bed after disclosing. He had lots of questions, and I did my best to answer them honestly, in a way that wouldn't scare him. The problem is that he is dating other people. While he is willing to take the risk for himself, he isn't willing to make the choice for the other people he's seeing. I told him to take all the time he needs, but I feel like I deserve someone who's willing to take that risk for me. I realize dating me comes with a risk that people need to evaluate and I don't blame them for it. Still, I hope I meet somebody some day who's willing to look past it. I have a lot of great qualities that more than make up for this, and I hope somebody sees that.