sahl

I was 16 when first diagnosed, it was my first girlfriend and I was devastated when I found out. It honestly fucked me up mentally and emotionally, I had lost the little confidence I already had in myself thinking I would never find someone else and constantly be rejected. I'm now 20 and have finally really come to terms with my diagnosis. Throughout the years I've had herpes I've only told my family and very close friends. My friends and I joke around about it sometimes now that I'm comfortable with it and have gained some of my confidence back. The downside is that I just recently told a girl I just started seeing that I have herpes and the reaction dropped me down a peg. This being the first girl I've told I expected it to be awkward. Her reaction seemed typical, she asked questions about it such as what are the odds of it transmitting to her, and if I'm on medication, which I am and have been for 4 years. Now I did do research when I was first diagnosed, but more for myself to be educated not expecting to have to educate others since I had lost the self esteem to be in a relationship. So after telling her I asked if she still wanted to see me, and sadly the answer didn't really come to me as a shock. She had made it seem like if she were to continue to see me it was going to ruin her life, and I get it, that's how I felt when I first found out but at the same time my ex-girlfriend had never told me she had herpes. But like I said before after 4 years of being single and thinking I was less than what I am, I finally found someone worth telling and I'm starting to slip back into that rut I was once in. Hopefully I can explain to her that I'm not expecting anything intimate from her right away, I want her to get to know me and then decide whether or not we should continue to see each other.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the advice. I hope it works out too, and I hope everything works out for you as well.

Emmah2605, I think you're completely right. She kind of did say how she was feeling about the whole situation, which is a reason why I posted here. She made it seem like it was a burden to be with me. I want to explain to her that I'm not expecting anything intimate from her right away, I actually do want to get to know her and let her decide if it's worth it. But I do think I should have another talk with her and hopefully all goes well.

I was 16 when first diagnosed, I'm now 20 and haven't been in a relationship since. I haven't told anyone except for my family and very close friends up until a few weeks ago when I told a girl I had just started seeing, her reaction was pretty much what I expected.She did ask questions like if I was on medication and what is the likelihood of transmitting it, and I obviously answered honestly, but she seems kind of hesitant on still wanting to see me, again I expected this reaction given the stigma of herpes and the age group I'm in. This is the first girl I have thought of being with in 4 years, I had finally felt like I got my confidence back since being diagnosed, but now I feel like I'm sinking back into the rut I was in. If there's anyone who could give me some advice on their personal experiences with entering a new relationship that would be great.

I was 16 when first diagnosed, I'm now 20 and haven't been in a relationship since. The initial outbreak was very painful but haven't had one since.