This is my first post: I'm new. So HI! I Found out two years ago, and it's been really hard. Something happened yesterday that I wanted to share and see if this has happened to anyone else.
I knew that I was going to hear people talk trash about herpes a lot, because we all know that there's millions of jokes out there in movies to try to make us feel like we're trash because this has happened to us.
What I didn't think was that I was going to hear friends talk trash about it in front of me, and how awful it would make me feel. Yesterday two of my friends and I had a conversation about a guy one of their sisters dated who had hepatitis C and then also about a friend of mine who's close friend just found out he has HIV(breaks my heart because he was dumped by some LOSER guy who couldn't cope right after he found out). I was trying to have an informed conversation with them about how easy it to make a decision to date someone with any issue if you have potential with them because I feel: LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE.
Then one says: "you know what I wouldn't ever deal with? Herpes. I would never go there. I dated a guy whom I thought I was falling for and could be the one, and the randomly he told me he had Herpes and that changed everything. I didn't want him anymore." (by the way she has warts, how is that different?). They continued to talk about how they would NEVER date a guy with that, the second they disclosed they would run away because they would NEVER want that. "It's for life you know." The conversation between them(I stopped talking) continued for around 15 minutes and I got to hear just awful and disgusting my situation was. Neither one knew that this had happened to me too, and all that trash they were talking was about me, and they were basically telling me people like me didn't deserve love.
When they started to make stupid and ill-informed jokes about it, I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer. I told them how completely rude and disrespectful they were and how dare they talk about it that way and they have no idea how hard it is for people to deal with. I said I had a friend who had it and I saw how hard it was for her to deal with it(there was NO WAY I was going to tell them I had it after they talked about it like that).
During the conversation I remembered that one of the girls told me a few years back that she had the kind of HPV that causes warts. I didn't say anything to the other friend because she is VERY closed-minded and although we've been friends for 12 years I would never tell her anything like this about me, because she would judge me. You'd think after having a sister who dated someone with HEP C she would feel differently, but she's still closed-minded. Anyways, afterwards I asked the girl that had warts how it was different than Herpes, and she said because HPV is a virus and your body can clear it. And I said: so is herpes and she said it wasn't the same. And the social stigma isn't the same and that's why she thinks she's better than people with herpes because she only has warts and that's way different, but it is NOT different. The only thing that's different is how the public views it.
Afterwards I felt awful, and pretty much torn apart by my friends. It made me grateful I have two supporting friends, and a supporting mom and sister, and super supporting boyfriend who have all helped me through and helped me feel normal(ish). I can't imagine what this would have done to me two years when I found out and I didn't have anyone to lift me back up with positive words. I probably would have lost my shit.
Share your friend stories with me!
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