1. I was drugged and raped in college, age 20, and contracted HSV2 - I'm not going into details.
2. I disclosed to ex boyfriend at the time who said he didn't care. He contracted and i reentered an abusive relationship that lasted 10 years because I felt like I had no choice, we had a child at age 21.
3. After him, if i had sex , which is a big IF, it was one night stands, protected and i did not disclose because I'm a terrible person and hadn't dealt with everything.
4. I'm 37 now. I work in a medical facility. I was on work comp for an elbow issue and saw a provider for therapy from january through june. We started texting in April and hung out a couple times as friends. Then we started talking a lot in August, i liked him but wasnt sure or that i was attracted to him. We started hanging out more 3 weeks ago and man do i like him. He's a great guy but he's been hurt and is anxious about working together and my life is super complicated because I have an abusive teenager who was just placed out of home for my safety = high stress load.
5. So we skipped sexual health talk, which i don't have much experience with. We kissed and cuddled at first, one night i gave him oral sex but hadnt planned on it. Last wednesday, he wanted to do the same to me, i should have said no straight out. Instead, he tried to pull down my pants 5 times and each time, i find a way to stop him. When he said he wanted to, i lost my willpower and let him. The next morning i woke up with a tingle, but closer to my buttock, i have not had any blisters but it still tingles and I've taken 1mg 2x daily for 5 days. i haven't had an outbreak in a year, unmedicated but started taking daily suppression beginning of november.
6. On friday, he decided that complications and work were too much for his anxiety and we agreed to be friends.
7. Last night he told me his throat hurts. I want to tell him and need to but I don't know how. I am incredibly fond of him but didn't conduct myself in a way that shows it. If he does have it, I've hurt him. If he doesn't, I've hurt him. I don't know how to approach it.
So do i tell him now? Do i wait to find out how his sore throat goes? Do i offer to pay for testing where we don't work? Do i tell him how i got it or just that i have it? I really don't know. And how does one apologize for this?
Support encouragement advice all appreciated.
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