MissListless

@RegularGuy I hope you won't mind if I use you as a sounding board, for some reason through all of your posts here I feel fairly comfortable to do so. I finally had some positivity come through yesterday, day 5 into my life with GHSV1. I've realized that much of my agony comes from my own judgments that I didn't realize I had, rooted of course in the judgments of my family. It truly does bring me comfort to see that someone else, a few months into their journey with genital herpes, has regained some control over their feelings and the virus hasn't completely taken over their life. I finally started to show myself some kindness instead of being so harsh and picking apart my brain for the 'how did this happen'. I am actually in a relationship with someone right now, and similar to yours when you were diagnosed it is quite new - about 2 months old. It's unclear if I acquired this from him or my ex - I've only had 2 partners in my life. At first we were fairly certain I got it from my current boyfriend, but upon realizing he'd confused cold sores with canker sores he's decided to get tested to be sure. He's been wonderful - hasn't exhibited an ounce of judgment or anger or disdain. He told me that regardless of whether he's positive or negative, he wants to continue to pursue our relationship. There's the toughest part, the clearest example of my self-loathing - I haven't been able to believe him. It's inconceivable to me that anyone would be willing to take the risk. That being said, like I mentioned earlier in this post, I found some positivity yesterday. I've begun to understand, in no small part due to your postings, that this doesn't define me or my worth as a person/partner. Any disease or illness of my body should invite gentility and kindness from myself instead of anger and self-punishment. And plus, exhibiting more love toward myself has certainly been far less painful than the other. Regarding your second outbreak: I'm happy to hear it isn't too terrible, my first outbreak was unbelievably mild and healed within 5 days of the treatment. I'm somewhat fearful that since I got lucky the first go around, my second will be much less forgiving. Of course, everyone is different and I know I can't predict my experience based off of others' but still, I'm glad to see it isn't affecting you too badly. I am going to take your suggestion and speak to my doctor about taking suppressive medication for the first year, especially if it turns out my partner is negative.

Hi @RegularGuy, I was just diagnosed on Thursday Dec 21 and have been distraught ever since - crying on and off all day. Like you I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I've never faced something that couldn't be fixed with sheer will power and determination. Reading your posts have helped me feel a little better and I'm so thankful for them.