clare

I've talked to a few friends who all said "it's no big deal" which made me feel better. I plan on using the handouts. The verbage and using more positive words has helped me so much and I am praying helps in the conversation with him. The truth is that if he told me there was a 1-2% chance of the virus spreading to me from him, I'd stay so, I hope that the same. I know I sound a little desperate about the man part of this. I am not that way. It's just that I had a very painful past and thought I might have finally found someone and I have also educated myself (I think) inside and out and I get it, it totally stinks but it's a skin condition. I am just so wrapped up and terrified about the stigma.

Thank you so much Kaybe. I'm so upset because not only do I have to tell hime but, we have been having uprotected sex for almost 2 months already so, there's the extra fear that I may have infected him. I had absolutley no idea at all that I had it otherwise I never would have been so careless. Were there any particular handouts or fact sheets you used with your man? I feel like he and I are both the kind of people that are comforted by those things.

Oh my goodness, you did not go on and on! Please, go on as much as you like, I really need to hear it. Again, thanks so much. I'm still not ready to tell him but, my doctor assured me that it's ok to wait until I have all of my retesting info before I do that otherwise I may be put him through this for nothing. Although, I pretty much know it's not going to be nothing.

Thanks for this. Happy to hear it.

Thank you. I really appreciate your feedback. Ultimately, I love him. I loved him as a friend even prior to our relationship so, even though it's early days for our relationship, I know in my heart that I couldn't decieve him. I do thank you for not judging me for saying that there is a part of me that doesn't want to tell him. I sincerly mean it when I say that since I have never had an outbreak, I really wish I didn't know. Believe me I am on information overload! I can't stop reading about it. I am fine with the health part because I am a very healthy and have a strong immue system. For me it's the emotional part and the social stigma. I find the female to male transferrance statistics very encouraging. Did you? I assume things went well with you and your boyfriend?

Hi all. I am very new to this group and to the diagnosis. As a matter of fact I am in the process of being retested and waiting for the results of that. I'm horrified. I'm trying to be rational but, I am literally making myself sick, can't eat, sleep, etc. I understand that Herpes is very, very common. I understand that since I am a woman the rates of me transferring this to a partner are quite low, especially with precautions. I am so scared to tell and lose the man I am with. I am a almost 46 years old and about 2 months ago became sexually involved with a man that had been a close friend for about 7 years. We were having unprotected sex. I know, not smart but since we had both been in long term committed relationships for the most part I guess neither of us thought much about it. I want to be clear, I had no idea I had this virus at the time. My last partner was unfaithful, as a matter of fact, after 13 years together he got my best friend pregnant. When I finally wised up and went to my gyno to get birth control he said that I should get an std check based on that, which I did and now here I am. To my knowledge I have never had an outbreak but, carry antibodies for both types. I can really use some support. This man is important to me but, I am terrified. Of the social stigma and of losing him. The facts for female to male transmission are 4% with doing nothing, 2% with abstaining during breakout and 1% with antiviral drugs. I feel like if someone said that to me, I wouldn't run but, yet, I am so scared he will. I'll be very honest, there's a huge part of me that wishes I didn't know and that part of me almost feels like sparing him the anquish. I know this is morally wrong but, I feel like I can't be the only one that ever had that thought, can I? At the very least, I am waiting for he 2nd set of results. to see if it's IGG or IGM. I'm very grateful to this forum and for all of you posts and support.