It has been 9 days since I have been diagnosed. The same time when I lose my job, the company went broke and didn't pay 3 months salaries so I am broke as well. My bofriend who I think the giver is (he said his test r neg. but I kinda have feeling it was him) is making a distance. He was supportive through messages but always have reasons not to meet me. I felt alone, ashamed and depressed. Single mom in germany and herpes is still tabu here. Just found 1 forum and just some people in there. The doc was not helpful, got not much information. Can't tell anyone except my boyfriend (or soon to be ex?). We just been together for 2 months. I have some friends who I think will freaking out when they know this. Just like I said, genital herpes is like a death sentence here. As opposite, seen some with oral herpes and people saw it normal. I am 37, grew up without parents, my siblings just looking for me when they need help, my ex husband only took advantage on me, cheated me many times, stole my saving. All I want since kid just a normal life with someone who love me and now I got this lifetime virus. Who will want to be with me? I probably can accept this if I am 30 years older, it sucks but I probably can accept it. But now? I can life without sex but is there any man who will that? Can't imagine anyone even want to touch me without fear here. If I don't have kids then may be I already kill my self and I will surely do if I ever passed this virus to them. I know it will be better (perhaps) but I just can't anymore now.